It’s the grand opening of Trim Up North. Everything is in place, the barrel of hipster real ale has been delivered, the flyers offering £10 cut and shaves have been given out, local celeb Tommy Orpington is on his way and the Tina lookalike from the local paper is there to write a story. What could possibly go wrong? Everything. Obviously.
First, Andrea the new stylist, (in league with rival salon owner Rachel), sabotages the flyers so that they offer a £1 rather than £10 haircut, and then walks out leaving David unable to cope with the demand. Then a customer, (also it transpires in league with Rachel), falsely claims that David has cut him during a shave and threatens to post it all over social media. Finally, Tommy Orpington, rather understandably, is reluctant to give his endorsement to an establishment that may be out of business faster than Audrey can lose £80k.
But all is not lost as Audrey herself turns up to save the day. She quickly snips through the waiting punters, giving Tommy a compliment on his double-crown and Tina-lookalike a great story about a Weatherfield haircutting dynasty (it’s obviously a slow news day). Some of the credit must also go to Vin Diesel the Weasel, as it turns out Tommy is a fan of taxidermy and wants a selfie with the stuffed creature. My one bit of advice to the Platt/Tilsley brothers would be that if your success is dependent on a septuagenarian and a lifeless rodent you may want to rethink your business model.
Over at No. 6 Geoff is milking his bad back and getting Yasmeen to run around after him. He then turns up at the Bistro demanding food and general fuss and attention. I’ve got to admit, I’m not a fan of Geoff. He strikes me as the sort of man who winks at himself in the mirror whilst saying ‘You’re quite a catch stud’, despite not having updated his shirts or joke repertoire for a quarter of a century. But obviously Yasmeen can see something that I can’t, as when she discovers that he’s been playing her along because he doesn’t want to go home, she tells him that she loves him and says he can move into her room.
Over at the factory Carla has a leak. Gary repeats that the whole roof needs replacing but she tells him again to just fix the hole. Even this seems to be above and beyond Gary’s skill-set, so he enlists the help of new builder and roofing specialist Jan. In the pub Jan immediately starts to chat up Eileen, much to the chagrin of unemployed Seb. Apparently, Jan heard her voice when booking a cab at Street Cars and was charmed. As I’ve personally never heard Eileen be charming, I can only assume it’s a big misunderstanding and the woman of his dreams is actually Fat Brenda.
Carla meanwhile is engaged in a cunning plan to cut Nick out of the factory by outsourcing production abroad. As I have a very limited grasp of economics, I have no idea how this would work but I’m guessing it’s a ‘bad thing’ as when Beth finds out Carla bribes her to keep it quiet.
In other news James turns up at Tyrone’s house with Cerberus but no Evelyn. It seems she has gone missing in Paris. With the help of PC Tinker, they find out that she is languishing in a Parisian jail. I may be wrong, but I sense a ruse by the wily Mrs Plummer to make Tyrone admit that he’s missed her and wants her back.
Finally, Vicky appeals to Robert to take Tyler back. He refuses, but instead gets him a job at a mate’s cafe in Macclesfield. Feeling like a cross between Jamie Oliver and Mother Teresa he then tells Billy that he would like to train up ex-offenders from the bail hostel. However, all this is immediately forgotten when Michelle announces that she thinks she is pregnant. I think I may have made my feelings on Michelle’s parenting skills quite clear in previous blogs see: https://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2018/11/coronation-street-episode-review-16_17.html so as you can imagine I’m quite scared by the prospect of Michelle’s progeny being let loose on Weatherfield.
Since Billy is the only man of God for miles around he should probably run for the hills before the stars align and the ancient prophecy is fulfilled. Otherwise there’s a very good chance he’ll find himself speaking in tongues before ending up at the bottom of a flight of stairs with his head turned all the way round!
That’s it from me. Did you like the one amalgamated review or do you prefer two? Let me know in the comments or catch me on twitter @mskelstar
The lovely Kosmo will be back next week to entertain you. Laters…
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6 comments:
Great review, Kelly. I prefer the continuity in an amalgamated review.
With you on Geoff ( and on the new format).
Geoff is so icky, poor Yasmeen.
Gary is just so horrible. I have no idea what Sarah sees in him. If Eileen is his boss, as he said, shouldn't she be the one to say if Seb can have his job back?
Do the two in one, Kelly, and don’t hesitate to make them as long as you like! I’ve forgotten who James is, but to drive to the cobbles, get himself into his wheelchair with an unleashed dog, and then smoothly manoeuvre the doorstep into Tyrone’s front room, makes him pretty special. And wwe still haven’t been updated on Audrey’s floor. Did the talentless Gary fix that single-handedly before moving on to Carla’s roof with its leak directly above her coffee mug?!
Two in one is good. You forget to mention the "storyline" of the wedding and the obviously evil Lolly. But that is no bad thing.
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