Coronation Street Blog: Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Saturday, 11 August 2018

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Everyone's excited for the new Doctor Who. We're a while away from the premiere of the new series of the sci-fi warhorse, but it seems that the people of Weatherfield are filled with anticipation. Liz compared the Rovers to the TARDIS, which makes sense; they're both buildings that are bigger on the inside, have an incomprehensible internal geography, and are well known for being filled with eccentrics and young girls in skimpy outfits. Then Abi decided to spend Wednesday's episodes cosplaying in the Thirteenth Doctor's distinctive rainbow stripe top. She'd actually make a pretty good Doctor; like Jodie Whittaker, she's a Northern blonde with a habit of travelling to other planes of existence. Of course, Jodie uses a Type 40 Time Travel Capsule, while Abi uses heroin, but the effect's pretty much the same.

Shona is a lovely person. She'd been working in the cafe all day, then wandered into the Rovers for a nice beer to relax. Jenny Bradley served her that: a pint that was fifty percent froth. And she still handed over her fiver to pay for it! Any normal person would've pushed it back with a stern cough and asked for it to be refilled, but nice Shona just grabbed a straw and dug in. Jenny had picked up the technique by Friday's episode and weirdly, so had Johnny, despite the fact that he had never worked in a pub before in his life. In fact they both took to the whole business so quickly, it's hard to believe they'd wasted decades working anywhere else.

Mary and Tracy are the dream team. Who knew that when Tracy was backed into employing Mary in her florist's, a comedy partnership for the ages would be born? Every scene with Taylor & Barlow this week was an absolute joy, from Mary's Peruvian hangover cure to her secret desire for an Oliver!-themed wedding to Tracy's reveal that she'd been practicing the Swizzle/Grey moves from the end of Dirty Dancing since she was 12. I'd watch a spin-off sitcom where these two just larked about in Preston's Petals, recreating famous dances from Eighties movies (episode one: Elisabeth Shue's iconic moves from the start of Adventures in Babysitting). Tracy's wedding to Steve looks doomed for a million different reasons, but let's hope it at least lasts until the reception so we can see him hold her aloft and make her adolescent fantasies come true.

Familiarity breeds apathy. Back when Deirdre Barlow was wrongfully imprisoned for fraud, the nation was justifiably outraged. There were protests, t-shirts, questions in Parliament; how could this happen to a much loved pillar of Weatherfield society? Now, with Duncan throwing Sally under the bus at the police station, it looks like we're getting the storyline again and we're all a bit blasé about it. Instead of horror, we're shrugging our shoulders - this again? It doesn't help that there are still Free Anna Windass posters gummed up by the bus stop; we just had a woman wrongly imprisoned thanks to allegations from a villainous man trying to obscure his own crimes. I hope that it's all resolved quickly and swiftly, and that Duncan's allegations of an affair are dismissed by Tim. Sally Metcalfe in prison is going to be heartbreaking enough without their adorable marriage under strain as well.

Biblical justice is harsh. Josh has escaped legal punishment for raping David, so Billy took it upon himself to intervene with the power of Christ. The result was a distinctly Old Testament-flavoured comeuppance as Josh discovered he was now blind. Billy's using God to smite wrongdoers and he is harsh; Rita had better not short-change him in the Kabin, or she'll find herself turned into a pillar of salt.

If you can think of a more horrific way to spend a weekend than a Disney Princess themed hen do with Beth Tinker, please don't tell the author on Twitter @merseytart, because he's not sure he could handle it.