By Stephen Leach, who is in Twitter @SirTerenceBoot, our guest blogger, who shares his thoughts on current Coronation Street.
It’s hard work deciding who the blandest, most tedious couple on the Street at the minute, but on balance it’s surely got to be Jude and Angie. Angie’s actress Victoria Ekanoye says Jude “isn’t the man for Angie.” It’s hard to think who might be dull enough to consider Jude “the man for her” – Theresa May, perhaps?
Maybe Jude and Angie don’t actually exist at all, and we’ve just imagined them. Maybe they’re like giant dolls for Mary to play with, acting out her fantasies of a blissful family life and providing her with opportunities to tell her lurid tales. “I had a bacon sarnie for breakfast this morning,” mumbles Jude. “Oh! Bacon,” Mary trills excitedly. “Or, as they call in Catalan, pansalada. I myself once spent a very enjoyable three months on a hog farm in Spain, which led to an amusing incident with a copper kettle and a roll of duct tape…” Enough. Please get well soon, Malcolm Hebden – you are sorely missed on the Street.
And then on the other hand there’s Gina, the manic to my depressive. Bouncing into rooms and overexcitedly SHRIEKING certain WORDS, if anything she has far, far too much charisma. The sort of person who’d unironically say the words “I’m mad, me!” (Cringe.) Aadi’s exasperated face every time they’re in a scene together pretty much sums up my feelings. Astonishingly, the writers have done it: this might be the first time in history anyone’s been able to truthfully say “Dev can do better”.
I can hardly remember what else is even happening. The storylines now are so short, that’s the trouble; they’re over before they’ve properly started. How long was Sean homeless for, exactly? Billy and Eileen rescued him just as the story was starting to pick up its feet. Do the writers just think people don’t have the attention span for a six-month narrative anymore? It used to be that you could have a full-blown affair with one of your neighbours: nowadays two characters will snog once and barely have the time to unzip their trousers before someone else bursts in on them. Case in point, Steve and Abi. Given that they only locked lips for about half a second, Tracy’s eventual discovery, fit of rage, and rampage of revenge is going to feel extremely unearned.
At least Carla’s back where she belongs – flogging knickers, barking orders, and knocking back mugs of scotch. And Peter’s doing his best to worm his way back into her bed. All is right with the world. Well, until she inevitably bankrupts the place for the fiftieth time, but until then I can sleep soundly. Time to sign off – I’ve never tried Dubonnet, but I’m curious: anyone want to suggest a recipe for an Uber-Duber?
By Stephen Leach, who is in Twitter @SirTerenceBoot - read all of Stephen Leach's guest blogs here.
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9 comments:
Very enjoyable blog. Not so long ago, the main story line polarised fans. You either loved or hated Pat Phelan. It was always a risk that post-Phelan, Corrie would go into a slump and here we are with boring storylines, as you say. Jude and Angie, Peter and Toyah (not quite over), Daniel and Sinead, Billy and whoever he's trying to save …. Tim and Sally's problems seem a desperate attempt to provoke some kind of reaction from viewers. Sean's homelessness was over in a flash and really could have been stretched out over a few weeks. On the other hand, Jude and Angie have a storyline that comes and goes, but nobody gives a flying fig about them. It often feels like a finished storyline but then, oh grief, here they are again. It is summer, though, so maybe there are interesting times planned for the autumn.
Jude has got to be the most boring male character since Ernest Bishop. How I wish Mary and Angie would do up Norris's house! Re-decorate, knock walls down, get rid of that horrible table and sideboard. I'd love to see some light modern furniture - same with the Barlow house. That horrid wall unit and wallpaper!
I'm sorry if this has nowt to do with plots, but has anyone noticed how many female characters have perfect white teeth? Abi is supposed to be a recovering heroin addict - would spend her brass on teeth whitening? Same with Eileen. At least homeless Carol looked realistic. The actress playing her was fab. I hope we see more of Carol.
Not just white teeth, but veneers, hair extensions, perfect manicures, lots of expensive clothes. It's time the producers made the actors look appropriate for their characters.
The actors did look appropriate but we have to change with the times. I started watching Corrie because the people looked real, as opposed to American soaps where they peel potatoes in sequin gowns. Now everyone needs to be beautiful.
Also the short storylines may be a product of the internet loving short attention span tweeters that just want to move on to the next thing.
Next...
I am also interested in possible recipes for an Uber-Duber. There are some very fancy Dubonnet cocktails online https://www.absolutdrinks.com/en/drinks/with/dubonnet/
Also there is the classic Dubonnet & Gin that is apparently a favourite of the Queen (1 part Gin to 2 parts Dubonnet). However, I suspect an Uber-Duber probably involves WKD and/or Red Bull!
The worst part of Jude is that he brings out the worst in Mary. Her rambles are funny and diverting but the planned events, like a dinner with fake marine biologists or a surprise vow renewal, are beyond plausibility. They’re just as bad as when she took over restaurants she didn't own for her disastrous theme nights. Worse, because in the process she is ruining the life of the one person she should love more than anyone. SMH.
Jeanie (anon): Too bad they didn't just leave Jude as a real marine biologist. Why does everyone with a post-secondary degree become a loser as soon as they turn up on Coronation Street?!Seriously though, the actor playing Jude was wooden enough but then they gave him the thankless and preposterous story line of the fake degree and a job in the gift shop. Would have been hard for even a great actor to pull that off! On top of that, it was sort of nice that Mary had a son she could be proud of--she's clearly a very intelligent woman so it made sense that her son could have been successful if given the support she didn't have as a child. But now they've made them "Weirdo and child of weirdo." A double act with no chemistry, despite all Patti Clare's frantic efforts. Too bad. If they had meant Jude as a comic figure, they should have cast a different actor.
Agreed - they ruined Jude with the fake career and con on Angie. It does bring out the worst in Mary as a character. Lost opportunity. Weirdo and child of weirdo is right. And lost comedy is right too. Bang on.
Having said that, Angie is salvageable. But not sure she is needed on the street.
Angie might not be needed, but I like her friendship with Toyah. It's rare to see people developing relationships outside of their own families. Wish there was a way to salvage both Toyah and Angie and have them actually use their qualifications.
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