Coronation Street double episode review, Monday 6 January

Gail! Are you listening? Surely everyone watching this evening is willing you to give David and Kylie the chance to reconnect and adjust to their living together again. It will be extremely difficult for them under any circumstances, but with you hanging around, it will make it even more difficult. There is no   doubt that it would be a good deal easier for them if you absented yourself in order to let them do that. Go and watch your films starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson elsewhere. So, that’s told her.

David asks Audrey to let Kylie have her job back and he also does the ironing. ‘Weird and creepy’ is Kylie’s verdict but as David says, it beats ‘drinking beer, watching TV and scratching my backside.’

Kylie and David’s list of Gail’s pros and cons was perhaps a good idea for them, but Gail’s position as head cook and bottle washer seems threatened and Gail herself appears vulnerable. Would they really kick her out?

The list is as follows. Under pros, they put babysitting and cooking. Only one con, Gail’s singing, is mentioned, until it appears that the cons are coming so thick and fast that they need another piece of paper.

Now we know that Michelle is not pregnant, what excuse has she got for being such a pain to live with?    Her recent antagonism towards Steve and in particular her sneery and unsupportive attitude regarding his sincere efforts to better himself has made her unpopular with viewers.  One of the reasons she has been so unpleasant to Steve might be that he lied about Andrea’s attractiveness quotient. But can that really explain it? On arrival for breakfast, Michelle reaches a new low of sheer nastiness, but her first victim is Liz. ‘Urgh! Do you have to do that in here?’ She tells Liz, who is painting her nails that ‘it reeks.’  Liz points out that Michelle does her nails in their living room, but it seems Michelle’s nail varnish doesn’t reek. Hmm.

It’s not over yet, because now it’s Steve’s turn. As Liz explains that the nail work must continue, Steve., no doubt in an attempt to lighten the mood, conjures up Mastermind, ‘She’s started so she’ll finish.’  Oh no, not amusing to Michelle who launches a savage attack on Steve’s eating habits. As he snorts in laughter at the Mastermind joke, ‘That’s hilarious,’ she says sarcastically, and ‘snorting like a pig is apt.’ As he continues his breakfast she says, ‘Gobble, gobble, gobble – like a turkey stuffing itself for Christmas.’ She then talks of a table full of food, groaning under its own weight.’  Understandably confused by now, Steve asks, ‘Am I a pig, a turkey or a table?’

Michelle thinks she must be pregnant. She confides in Liz who cannot stop herself from spilling the beans to Steve, who immediately takes a drink from an optic and smiles broadly, then performs a celebratory dance while Liz gets giddy. But their joy is short-lived as Michelle summons Liz and Steve to tell them that she is not pregnant. Steve’s disappointment is palpable. Then she announces that she and Steve are to go on a diet. Poor Steve! The highs and lows of life!

Lloyd is someone else who does a celebratory dance. He will be having lunch with Andrea and tells Steve to bring the drinks over, ‘soft lad’ to which Steve agrees.  He is charmed by Anthea, or should that be Andrea, and puts on The Supremes singing Where Did Our love Go? Clearly smitten with Andrea, it is evident that he will have his heart broken. Though she tells him it was fun having lunch with him, she looks directly at Steve as she leaves. She wants his notes, she claims, and though Liz tries to put Andrea down, by deliberately making a mistake over her name then asking her if the dog ate her notes, Andrea is the clear winner when she says,’ She’s  quite funny your mum – I hope I’m that sprightly at her age.’  And so the killer blow is delivered - execution style. She is intriguing is Andrea and a great addition to the cobbles. There is a lot we do not know about her.

Scenes with Peter and Tina make for uncomfortable viewing – we know how deceitful he is being and how easily he fools Carla.  Even more uncomfortable was the woman to woman chat between Tina and Carla. Tina admits to Peter how awful all the deceit makes her feel and tells him that he will get his wish of her staying in Weatherfield, if he tells Carla about their affair..

Carla seems particularly stressed and with good reason. Hayley’s clear deterioration is profoundly affecting her and then Peter’s ‘confession’ of nearly having given in to a drink makes her feel less  of a wife than she feels she should be, and then there’s the sacking of Beth and her cavalier attitude to Hayley’s imminent death, plus Peter not meeting the client to secure an order. At the moment, Carla is in ignorance about her husband’s affair, but it will only be a matter of time and then – stand well back.  

Beth probably deserved her sacking, but it is not easy to see someone out on their ear. That said, her remark to Eva about Jason being her mother’s leftovers was way below the mark. Good job though that Carla arrived back from Hayley’s when she did, because although Peter claimed to be dealing with it, he was well out of his depth. Beth turns to him to ask for his job back and all he can say is, ‘She’s the boss, not me.’         

 Roy’s attempts at encouraging Hayley to eat are so touching. She doesn’t feel hungry and Roy finds it hard to accept. Feeding someone when they are ill is a manifestation of an  instinctive desire to help and heal. Roy’s smile is so sweet when Hayley starts to enjoy the strawberries that the ever kind Fiz and Tyrone bring for her. Four latter day saints all together in Roy and Hayley’s flat.

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