Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Sunday 14 August 2011

Corrie weekly awards: August 8 - 12

Makeup remover award: Marc dunked his face in the cream cake and the heavy eyeliner disappeared.

Big Brother award: Gold Star: I love it when Kirk gets all protective of Maria.

Alienation Award: How to drive all your customers away in three quick lessons. David and Kylie won't have much of a salon left to run.

Dolce Vita award: Gold Star: Carla and Frank were sure loved up after their Roman Holiday. I've never seen her that bouncy!

Homeless award: Chris used to have his own flat. I assume he gave it up and moved in with Maria.

Sob story award: Dreaming about her baby in a Moses basket and singing Row Your Boat? Isn't that a bit over the top, Stella?

Style award: Julie again for that fab black and red dress. It really did say "banquet" and "take me but not all at once" didn't it!

Pants on Fire award: Gold Star: Carla told Frank she didn't still have feelings for Peter anymore.

SuperCow award: Stroppy Star: Someone needs to tell Eva that tearing up cards out of jealousy is for 3 year olds.

Lines of the week:
Simon "You can never have too many grans" (especially when you're 7!)
Mary to Audrey "As long as my appointment is with you and not the Boston Strangler"
Audrey to Kylie "Lighted candles? I wouldn't trust you near me with a hot cuppa tea!" and "Frankly the two of you couldn't run a bath let alone a salon"
Julie "To me, it's a date with Destiny"
Sean to Eileen "You are the glass half empty, chipped, been through the dishwasher of life too many times type"
Julie "Single is the cruelest word on the planet. That, and banana"
and "I am offering you the full English here but if all you want is cold toast and a quick coffee, it's your funeral"


Frosty the Snowman said...

What was that all about award???? award: Bizarre scene with Karl randomly marching up to Leanne and ordering her to “leave Stella alone”? Newsflash to the moron: Leanne lives there and has done so for years. It’s Stella that has followed Leanne at every opportunity and took the job in the Rovers to be near her. All because Karl thought Leanne didn’t buy her a birthday card - diddums - how old is Stella – 5?

Comedy Descending into Farce Award: I liked Brian the first time around but now they have brought him back – how come he was jogging in the Street when he lives in Rochdale – they have made him a fairly ridiculous character. I suspect he has been brought back for “humour” which Corrie has sorely lacked of late, but the old Corrie humour was witty sharp dialogue not silly misunderstandings and people falling off chairs and acting like retards. This has the potential to be a good comic pairing with pathos and humour but they deserve better writing than the usual “drunken behaviour” offering on Friday.

Most Dreadful Exit Award: I absolutely detest this ridiculous and quite inappropriate storyline with the Easter Island stone head lookalike Chris Grey, one nasty bullying piece of work, usurping poor hapless doormat Lloyd from his own home (who didn’t feel sorry for him eating his burger alone in his cab) while he, his user girlfriend and gormless son (please would someone comb his hair) bonded over their “tea” in that nauseating little scene?. What message is this sending out – that it’s Ok to beat and stalk your partner because perhaps you have a brain tumour and “didn’t really mean it” and she will get back with you and stick by you in the end. Very irresponsible.

New Hairstyle award: I thought Mary’s hair looked better after the head message from Kylie than before she went in!

Lamest Bigged Up Character Award: After much trumpeting of Michelle Collins going in to take the part of Stella, much debate on all the web boards, newspapers and magazines, and her being quite a major character as Cindy Beale on EE, we have now given her a chance and Stella has turned out to be an insipid bland character with not much about her. The constantly expressionless staring look and whispering raspy little voice making her difficult to understand may somewhat contribute to it.

Most Scary Waitress Award: Gail with her mad grinning and acting like a loon in the face of the poor local journalist attempting to enjoy a quiet meal in the Bistro, enough to put anyone off their pasta! I prefer Gail miserable it’s far more believable than suddenly this forced happy clappy persona, doesn’t suit her.

Even more Scary Waitress Award: Pointless pointless Eva, the sour faced spiteful little Madam, standing in the Bistro like a teapot with one hand constantly on her hip – WRITE HER OUT.

Anonymous said...

One big happy family award.
Chris brain tumour comes on without notice, he dumps Maria right smartly and Cheryl whom he used as a punching bag starts feeling all sympathetic and can't understand why Lloyd, who he tried to frame for robbery doesn't want him around and gives him attitude big time. Owen, who paid him to beat up Jim McDonald gets all pissy when he accidentally hits Jason with a piece of pipe and threatens to sack him promptly at which time, Chris tells him to stuff it all and goes...where exactly. Oh yes..Eileen's boarding house. OMG can they just get rid? Why on and on when nobody is watching or gives a toss??? Sack the friggin writers or hire someone with a memory span of more than 3 days!!!

Evil Caneavel said...

Anonymous - you forgot - dumps Maria right smartly and smashes up her flat shouting Ive a brain tumour at anyone that will listen. I think has to go down as one of the worst exit storylines ever! I wish the three of them would just bog off sharpish! Not a likeable bone in any of em!

Anonymous said...

Talking about Eileen's boarding house as mentioned in the above comment, how can Eileen allow as many people into her house without mentioning this in the government's census form? Why hasn't the law been on her back for this?

indeg said...

What does the census have to do with Eileen allowing people to stay in her house when they have nowhere else to go, anonymous? The census only requires people to state who is resident in the house on one particular date, once in ten years. There is certainly no law against Eileen offering her sofa for friends to sleep on now and then, in case of need. Her house is cramped, yes, but not illegally so! And she certainly has no intention of allowing Chris - or anyone else - to take up permanent residence on the sofa. That's an in extremis measure only.

Snag said...

Evil Caneaval's got a point. There's hardly anyone likeable on Corrie any more. When a soap is full of people whose company you don't enjoy, why should we waste time watching them?

Humpty Dumpty said...

Now that Corrie producers have got the message that we want more humour, they are giving us slap-stick. I loved Julie and Brian in the restaurant but Marc with a custard pie in his face, Tommy eating two dinners,Mary in the salon...? We need witty one-liners, as well. Would love to hear some acerbic wit from Dennis.

Anonymous said...

That cake in the face scene was utter sileage...absolute dire lame bilge, students at salford school of looting could write better handcuffed and with a crayon in their teeth, all that was missing was size 18 shoes a squirty flower and a minature car.....

Bring back Don Brennans limb!

Best wishes ..

Billy smart.

Captain Kirk said...

I think it's Marc who has a crayon in his teeth... it's difficult to understand what he says at times and I quickly have to put the Text button on when he appears, then off when he goes, then on again when he appears then... well, I think you've got my message... Beam him back to Mars, Scotty!

Beth said...

Oh blimey the two episodes last Monday had to be the worst in living memory. Pure nonsense and garbage! I was really considering the off button FOR GOOD. The custard pie a la Mrs Doubtfire was nothing but beyond a joke. If Gail was meant to find that a little less odd than a Marc in a full face of Max Factor then I learn something new every day! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse Stella, (everybody's familiar best friend), starts singing "Row row row your boat"..... Oh c'mon writers get a grip on yourselves. I splattered my tea in chokes of utter disbelief of the drivel that was spilling from my 42" plasma!

I don't think that any of the writers really expect us to care about Chris, seriously..... or if they do then I have to take a long hard look at myself. One thing for sure were we not supposed to notice that one week he didn't have hair, now he does and next week he won't for the effect of the story..... Everybody, are we all that stupid, is that how the PTB see us?!

I stuck with it until Friday not really believing the stupidity of Lloyd.... But glad of catching the two scene's with Julie at Eileen's and at the Rover's and the banter with her, Eileen, Sean and Marcus. It was light hearted, enjoyable and fun.

There seems so much wrong with the show right now I get more worked up watching it than enjoying it,not helped by catching the Corrie Years a few weeks ago with reminders of how strong the cast, script and storylines used to be!
Sentiment is the only thing that's keeping me from switching off right now :(

Anonymous said...

For Charity, why don't the Corrie writers allow the public to do an episode now and again instead? For tghis to work, the public would need to contribute a donation to a charity of their choice before being allowed to write something, and this would need to be pointed out before Corrie starts, otherwise people will think it is obviously written by the actual Corrie writing team. Just a suggestion...what do others think?

Anonymous said...

I think people seem to have forgotten that this is summer silly season - where all the stories are stupid and written for 'comedy' - they do it every year - does anyone remember ashley's boxing fiasco, a case in point!
John H

Anonymous said...

At least he's got his mouth open for once! Pity he can't speak with his mouth open too!


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