Imposters: Fri Jul 30, 2010 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Debbie Oates (7:30) and Chris Fewtrell (8:30), directed by Tim Dowd

John’s on the phone with Colin, trying to tell him he hasn’t got his money. John scrambles on the phone with the bank to get the cash, but he’s coming up empty.  He even spies Chesney’s business money, but puts it back quickly.  Charlotte’s over at John’s as though she’s a fixture there.  John tells her about Colin’s ultimatum and the money he wants and how he can’t get it.  Is he hoping that Charlotte will chump up the two thousand pounds?  John is adamant with Charlotte that he cannot go back to prison, since he was put in solitary on suicide watch in there.  He’s not sure he can make it through again.  Then, why did he commit another crime?  Need I argue?  He knows that Fiz wouldn’t wait again either.  Charlotte figures that John is just being bullied by Colin and the two of them together can sort him out. 

It’s also the day of Lord Chesney’s party and this should be a good one!  Over at the cafe, they’re already setting up for Chesney’s ‘do.”  There are speakers, juice, and streamers.  What more could a boy ask for?  Oh, yes, spiked punch.  Chesney’s got Sophie and Sian coming, but only if Sophie can choose the music.  Also, Ches and Kirk are on the hunt for two bottles of vodka to “spice” up the party.  They go into Dev’s shop to get the booze, but Ches spots Fiz coming down the street, so hides.  Kirk, of course, nonethewiser comes out of the shop with bottles in hand, to which Chesney smoothly takes before Fiz can see.  Fiz tells Kirk that he’s in charge of making sure that kids don’t bring booze into Ches’ party that evening.  The irony! 

It’s Ches’ party, and Fiz wants them to get going, but John make another excuse not to go.  Fiz leaves and Charlotte arrives as though there’s a revolving door.  Charlotte expects her reward for helping John to be champagne and oysters down by the river bank under the stars.  John promises her champagne and oysters since she saved him.  Well, she’s looking for more than that.  I wonder if he’ll deliver too?  Colin arrives and the deceptive duo begin their tag-team against him.  Colin says that Charlotte never misses a bit of drama and demands that Stape pay out.  Stape can’t pay out enough, so Colin picks up his phone and dials the police. Charlotte can’t have this happen, so she grabs the phone out of his hand.  When she does, Colin falls backwards to the ground.  John goes to check him, and realizes that he’s DEAD.  Charlotte starts to panic.  They both come to the conclusion that they can’t call the authorities since John’s crimes will be traced back to John and he could even be in for murder.  John comes downstairs with a random large rug (as though he had it waiting for just such an occasion) as Charlotte looks up where Colin was staying.  John rolls Colin’s body into the rug.  Charlotte’s car is parked outside the factory so, they have take the body/rug down the ginnell and they shouldn’t be seen. 

At the party, Ches is complaining that the banner decorations make him look like a kid, while Kirk is pouring two bottles of vodka into the punch bowl. Izzy has brought her sister Katy and Chesney couldn’t be more delighted to see her!  Chesney tries to impress Katy by telling her all about his own business, but she can hardly believe him.    Fiz is wondering where on earth John is and what could be so important that he’s missing Ches’s party!  Fiz leaves to find why John isn’t there.  She goes to the house, but can’t find him at all, but she does find the back door open as John, Charlotte and “the rug” are hiding.

John and Charlotte cannot carry the rug between them, so John empties a wheely bin and well, puts “the rug” into the bin.  Norris is putting his bin out at the same time and asks what John thinks he’s playing at and gives him a lecture about leaving trash on the ground.  The two get the rug to Charlotte’s car ASAP!  Unfortunately, Charlotte’s car has been blocked in by Owen.  They figure all they need to do for now is get Colin into Charlotte’s boot.  Charlotte thinks it’s not too late to call the police.  As the two are trying to get the rug into Charlotte’s boot, Rita comes up and wants to make sure that John isn’t pulling an “Eddie Windass” and redistributing his rubbish!  Erm, not exactly.  John makes up a lie about how he inherited the rug from his Gran and it’s too big for their place so he’s giving it to Charlotte.  We all cringe now as Rita strokes the “rug” and says how lovely it is.  Rita leaves them to it, and in the shock, Charlotte managed to lock her keys in the boot.  John freaks out, especially when seeing Norris wandering again so he pulls the bin into UnderConstruction aka “Underworld.” 

Over at the Rovers, Carla is talking with Owen about the work that’s happening at Underworld and it’s not going fast enough for her.  Carla tells him that as soon as he’s done his pint, they’re headed over to see what’s been done with the place.  Not good news for John and Charlotte who have finally taken a breather in Underworld.  John dares blame Charlotte for all of this, then apologizes.  Charlotte wants to know what they’re going to do.  John figures they’re going to stash the body in the hole in the ground at Underworld until they can think of something better to do with it.  John tells Charlotte to go home and rest and they’ll figure out the body in the morning.  Charlotte wonders how she can rest and that she’ll never be the same again.   Looks like someone played with fire and got burned! 

Mary arrives at Chesney’s party and not in good spirits as she tells Roy and Hayley she didn’t realize they were having a gathering.  Roy asks Mary if she’d like a punch, since nothing would give him greater pleasure than to deliver a punch to her.  She’s stunned until he reaches down to ladle her out a spiked punch!  Mary says she’s come by about the wedding, and Roy sarcastically asks her if the Arch Bishop of Canterbury has suddenly found a gap in his diary!  Mary looks just horrified and asks Hayley if Roy is quite himself.  Chesney asks Katy how old she is, and she wonders why he’s asking.  He says he was just making conversation, unless she’s rather do something else *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*.  Katy surprises Chesney by telling him that now that he’s legal and all, maybe they could slip off – and go for a spin on her sisters wheelchair outside.  The drunken party filters out onto the cobbles while Ches and Katy are going for rides on Izzy’s wheelchair.  It’s all fun and games until Owen comes out of the pub to see what they’re doing.  He tells off Chesney and reprimands his daughter.  He gets no help from Izzy either.  Owen can see that Katy is drunk and accuses the Croppers of giving them booze as Hayley says it’s only fruit juice and Sophie and Sian snicker in the corner.  Chesney admits that he spiked the punch as Fiz’s eyes roll back, Hayley’s eyes pop out, and Roy spits into his cup.  Roy is on fire about the alcohol, but Hayley says what’s done is done as Mary asks for the precise recipe.  John finally shows up to the party to find a drunken Fiz and clean-up time.  Fiz tells him that he would not believe the night they’ve had and John replies, “really?” 

Audrey and Lewis are on their way out that day, after work.  Audrey takes in an old computer from the medical centre for Audrey’s salon, so according to David, they can type up the client list for the “heir of the new kingdom – whoever that might be.”  Audrey may have chosen just the right time to retire, since she cannot figure out the computer for the life of her!  Natasha offers to type in the data since she’s got her RSA1.  Although, Maria knows how to decipher all of Audrey’s old notes.  Audrey figures that Maria can read the notes, and Natasha can type them in: problem solved!  

At the Rovers, Audrey and Lewis are telling the Barlows all about their holiday.  Deirdre says she can’t handle the heat, or at least “hot, hot.”  Oh really?  So then it isn’t sun damage to blame for that leathery decolletage?   Audrey offers that she can come visit them when it’s only “hot.”  Oh, I think if Deirdre comes and visits her and Lewis it might get more than a little hot!  Audrey’s trying to leave, but there’s all sorts of little things keeping her back. 

Michelle scolds Sean for not taking Liz's contact details off of that website.  Sean says that Violet keeps replying and even told ‘Liz’ that she’d felt bad for keeping Dylan from Sean.  Sean tries to re-write “Liz’s” note to Violet, but Michelle reminds him not to make it all about him, since there’ll be red flags.  Nothing could go wrong now, could it?  At the pub, Liz notices that they seem to be light on weirdos lately.  Who here thinks she’s secretly disappointed?  Suddenly, there’s  a call for Liz and it’s Violet!  Clearly, Liz has no idea what messages Violet is talking about.  Michelle calls Sean from behind the bar to call her back asap, but Liz finds out and puts two and two together and realizes that it’s Sean who’s impersonating her, and says he’s DEAD.  Liz reams Sean out for impersonating her and sacks him to boot!  She also tells him that if he thinks Violet is ever going to speak to him again, he’s deluded.  Liz pays out to Sean as he tries to grovel for his job back.  Liz says that he made a fool of her, and he says that he got carried away and is dead grateful for her.  Sean pulls on Liz’s heartstrings when he tells her that he just wanted to hear what his kid’s laugh sounded like.  Liz softens and tells Sean that she’ll call Violet on his behalf to explain and put in a good word.  Sean goes home to find a nice message from Violet later and is elated.  

Lloyd is feeling generous, again, and gets Russ some new footy boots for his new league.  Cheryl reprimands him for being so generous since he’s already done enough for them.  Oh, trust me Cheryl, Lloyd will do whatever it takes!  Chris is over at Lloyd’s reading a book to his son with gritted teeth (not much of a storyteller this one), as Lloyd and Cheryl look on.  Chris tells Lloyd that he doesn’t look kindly to other men muscling in on his family.  Lloyd points out that his muscling got him into the place he is now and that Cheryl’s a mate and he doesn’t want her being bullied.  Cheryl comes out and tells Chris to go home, and that he can visit Chris once a week but if he starts something, she’ll go somewhere where he’ll never find them.  Russ comes out of his room and wants to know why everyone’s shouting, but Chris gives him a hug and kiss and tells him he’ll see him next week, and every week after that, since he’s his kid and he’s not going anywhere. 

HIGHLIGHTS

- David saying that they could type up the client list at Audrey’s salon “for the heir of the new kingdom.”  Haha. 

- The little “cloak and dagger” operation to get vodka into the punch at Ches’ party!  Especially since it was a 28 year old Kirk who brought it in, when he was supposed to be keeping it out!

- The cattiness between the two crimpers Maria and Natasha.

- Ken about Lewis and Audrey: “They’re a great couple.  Audrey looks twenty years younger!”  Deirdre: “Oh, my age then.”

- Fiz: “There’s a pull in my shirt, I’ll have to change it.”  John: “No you won’t!  Who’s going to be looking at you anyway?”  Haha.

- Charlotte dressed in her shiny best in attempts to “flirt over” Colin.  Haha.   

- About Colin, John: “It’s his flair for the women that got him into this mess.”  Charlotte: “Fair enough, although I’m sure a splash of identity theft contributed.”  No kidding!

- John brings down the rolled up rug to stow Colin’s body, Charlotte asks: “What are you doing with that?” John: “I thought it might look quite nice in front of the fire!”  Haha.

- Did anyone else think Roy looked rather handsome in his sweater/jacket slightly inebriated?  Or am I having an off morning?

- Roy’s drunken toying jabs at Mary! 

- The utterly terrified looks on John and Charlotte’s (especially) faces during the whole “disposal” plan. 

LOWLIGHTS

- John telling Charlotte he was on suicide watch in prison last time and can’t go back.  Then why did you commit more crimes, dummy? 

- Since when is David a full stylist?  I thought he was just a shampoo/shop boy?

- How did the punch bowl not completely overflow full of two bottles and vodka, and NO ONE noticed the flavour difference?  

- Ches’s underpants sticking out the back of his tight jeans.  Dear goodness, I thought this trend was OVER!

- Erm, the cover up of Colin’s terrible death?!  That psycho could have paid for that he did to Colin!  Clearly, he died of an internal hemhorraging from his wounds!  Or a random anneurism, whichever!  Doesn’t he have family?   More unfortunately, he had to die on that ugly carpet.  Tsk.