Anything Else: Mon Aug 2, 2010 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Peter Whalley, directed by Duncan Foster

It’s the grim morning after of Colin’s untimely death and Charlotte and John meet at the factory to move the remains. Only, the factory is locked of course. Which begs the question – why wasn’t it the night before? Charlotte has crumbled and completely backtracks on John by telling him that he’s insane and the worst thing that has ever happened to her. She even changes her tune on what he did to Rosie, now thinking he’s a lunatic instead of when she previously thought Rosie “Dozy Plebster” deserved it. Like I said before folks, Charlotte played with fire, and got burned. She didn’t even get her two veg and meat as she’d paid for either! John is a complete and utter turmoil and now he’s got Fiz wondering where he’s been that morning and where he was the night before when he was supposed to be Chesney’s. Fiz wants to know if he’s leaving her, and wants to know what’s going on. John yells at her that he can’t tell her everything and to leave him alone. Is anyone wondering if he’s going to kidnap someone else now? Seems to be what he did last time under duress. He knows Rosie has a sister, right?

John calls Charlotte on her mobile and tells her that he can’t get in since the factory is sprawling with workers. He’s certain they must have discovered the body by now. Charlotte says she’s going to go down to the police and tell them what happened. John insists that she does not do that, but Charlotte figures they have no other way. Charlotte tells him to think of another alternative! John yells to God or the universe, or whomever he’s still got left on his side “Somebody! come on, give me a break!” Chesney overhears this and looks concerned, asking John if he’s okay. Clearly, he’s NOT, but Ches doesn’t really care enough, just worries for his sister. John starts crazy talk by telling Ches that all he wanted to do was teach, but the gods have it in for him. Oh, of course it’s those unfair gods, not a stupid Stape who’s at fault here. I think there’s a lesson to be learned her audience, and that is accountability. Well, and to stay away from loonies like Stape. Chesney got the later and left the room.

John continues to monitor Underworld and even tries to get into the building but is stopped by Owen, since he’s clearly not permitted. He plays dumb, and prances off. He phones Charlotte to tell her that he still cannot get into Underworld. How often do they need to phone another? And how long has Charlotte been walking for? She’ll be in Blackpool soon.

At Underworld, Owen has the job under control and hands a satisfied Carla some new sets of keys for the place and she goes over to the Rovers, where John is drowning his guilt, and hands Hayley her set. Overhearing the conversation and eyeballing the keys, John’s got a plan. Hayley throws the keys in the pocket of her anorak and John also notes this. John goes over to Hayley and starts some chit chat about Fiz while sliding the keys to Underworld out of her coat pocket hung up on the booth post. John takes the keys over to Underworld while the workers are on lunch and almost seems shocked that they actually open the door. He pulls back the plastic curtain to reveal no man behind it, but a cement filled hole in which a man’s body once was. Well, it looks as though Owen can double as a funeral home since he’s buried a body this morning! Is it safe to call this an open shut case? Carla spies John there and wants to know why he is there. Yeah, she’s already had one complete psycho murderer in Underworld, she doesn’t need two! John tells her that he was just curious as to what was going on in there, but she tells him to scram. Good lord, he’s creepy!

John calls Charlotte and tells her the “good news” that Colin has already been done and buried. In an inescapable crypt. He’s been cemented in, like how the mafia does it. He also tells Charlotte that no one must have noticed since no alarms were raised. Charlotte wants to come ‘round, but he says she shouldn’t do anything. That neither of them should do anything. Charlotte doesn’t – and has never – seemed satisfied with nothing. Fiz arrives home and finds John. She wants to know what’s going on with John, but he insists nothing is going on. John tells Fiz that Charlotte had a problem that she wanted to talk to him about – she thinks that there’s something going on at her school that shouldn’t be – a relationship going on between a teacher and a student – and she wanted John’s advice. Well, who better to ask? Fiz insists that Charlotte fancies John but John says she’s wasting her time. Fiz knows John’s a liar, so she can’t trust him. Charlotte calls and makes him see her in the Rovers, and John is going to blow his top. John tells Fiz that he’s meeting Charlotte in the Rovers to discuss her “problem” and if she wants to come, she can. Lucky for John, she doesn’t take him up on her offer. Charlotte is mourning Colin, but John doesn’t give a monkey’s uncle! Charlotte feels as though Colin has been disposed of as garbage (literally!), and John says it’s not “ideal” BUT, it works for them. Life is for the living, right John? Sheesh, can this guy get more disgraceful. I’m beginning to wonder if John is thinking about doing away with Charlotte also at this point. Charlotte actually thinks they should go in and get Colin out and bury him proper. John tries to explain to her just how buried he is. Can you imagine if Charlotte went to the police and they had to excavate? Imagine Carla’s state at that point! Charlotte settles for a large vodka and orange. To be quite frank, I need a large vodka and orange just from watching John creep around all episode. Charlotte tells John that Colin will be buried again, eventually. John asks why she thinks that. She figures that he wont’ get away with the murder, and eventually that body will come up. Well, maybe, but I doubt John will be alive then, or heck, even out of prison! Who knows what he’s going to do next.

Ches is still looking to get a vehicle on staff for his booming dog collar business. Kev says he can sell him a car for five hundred quid, but Ches offers four fifty in cash. Ty and Kev laugh that he’s been saving his pocket money, and Ches says that it took him the best part of a week, to which they lose those smiles. Ches says the offer’s on the table, but it won’t be there forever.

Cheryl’s out today looking for a “regular” job. Hairdressing’s first on her list (good luck there), and then she’ll do “anything else”, well, not “anything else.”

The wedding planner from hell – Mary – brings her bright cheeriness to Hayley’s hangoverness and it’s not welcomed. Mary has scheduled Hayley a salon visit to decide what style to do her hair in on the wedding day. Seriously? Yes, seriously. Hayley has had enough of Mary’s interfering and so have I. Mary challenges both senior stylists Maria and Natasha how many weddings they’ve each done. Maria says she’s done seven weddings, and Natasha says she’s done twenty-five and pushes it in Maria’s face that she has much more experience. Well, she does have a few more years on here too. Hayley miserably sits through both senior stylists fighting over her, and Mary cooing over stupidity until she gets up and leaves saying she’s had enough. Cheryl comes in to ask for a job, but after witnessing the rowing stylists she leaves saying she wouldn’t be able to copy anyway. After all have left, Maria and Natasha threaten each other behind closed doors and it’s Natasha 1, Maria, 0 in the jabs.

Meanwhile, Hayley is freaking out over the fact that she’s already lost the keys that Carla had given her for Underworld. Roy blames it on the fact that she’d probably had too much to drink the night before. Haha. Hayley tells Roy that she’s going to tell Mary today that they’re not wanting her to organize their wedding anymore. Roy says he’s not certain he ever did want her to. He tells Roy about the horrors that Mary put her through this morning, when Mary herself walks in. Hayley tries to get Roy in on the “meeting” with Mary, but he’s hesitant. All three sat down, Hayley tells Mary that she feels she’s doing too much work regarding the wedding. Mary says she was going to say the same thing, so she step down as matron of honour and allow someone else to assume that role. Mary says she’ll never give up the role of party planner since that’s a project close to her heart, one she will see through to the bitter end. Oh, and it will be bitter. Mary leaves to give Norris a scalp massage (yes, you read correctly), and Hayley and Roy are left to moan over a failed battle.

At Dev’s, Sunita tells Molly all about how lonely and unhappy she was in a bigger neighbourhood away from Coronation Street. Molly reminds her that they won’t be living anywhere posh, so that won’t be an issue. Dev tells Sunita that the reason she was unhappy was because she didn’t have her husband living with her, which Molly did. No, but she had one nice piece of man living with her (Matt), and that should make anyone happy! She simply moved on. Molly tries to get out of their domestic ASAP. Cheryl comes in looking for a job, and Sunita reminds Dev that they’re hiring in the kebab shop. Looks like she’s got a job!

Cheryl tells Lloyd that she’s now working in the fast food industry at Dev’s kebab shop on Victoria. Lloyd is shocked she’d want to work there and thinks she’ll hate it. She can have any hours she wants, and it’s a job and that’s all she cares about. Chris shows up on the street and looks like he’s working for Owen on Underworld as a general labourer. He started this morning and he’ll be around until it’s done. Lloyd can’t believe his ears.

Claire’s back to her child-minding days, now with four children, all under the age of six. If anyone can believe for a second that she has all their attention sat on the floor singing a bear hunt song you clearly don’t know children! But, it’s telly. It gets better, since Lloyd rings and wonders if they could drop Russ by there. Oh, because Claire is just a drop-off center for random children. FIVE kids? Good grief! Claire’s going to be right back in that sanatorium in no time flat. Lloyd really needs a pint, so Russ gets deposited. Just as Cheryl and Lloyd are in the Rovers, Chris and Owen walk in. Lloyd tells Becky all about Chris and as a result, he gets “slow” treatment. Slower than Becky is normally? The man will surely die of thirst. Lloyd thinks that now that Cheryl’s working at the kebab shop, that Chris can walk back in any time he likes. Cheryl insists that he can walk back out also. Chris confronts Cheryl in the street and tells her that he still loves her and that’s why he’s hanging ‘round. She tells him that she won’t go back to him. Oh, please don’t listen to the abusers “remorse!” Chris says he’ll get off the job if she wants him too, just because he loves her and he wants them to try again.

Sean tells the factory girls all about the fact that he’s been facescene “friended” by his son, Dylan Wilson. Wasn’t he one of the Beach Boys? Or am I thinking of Brian? Moving on, the girls are all happy for Sean, but not as happy as he is. Sally wants to know what Sean is going to get out of his arrangement with Dylan. He’s going to ring them tonight, but doesn’t want to get carried away. They take a vote though, and he decides to ring Violet now. He takes off his bib and goes up to the bar to call her, but not before telling Liz that he knows it was her who put in the good word for him and thanks her immensely. He called Violet and Violet says that he can go see her, he just has to go down to London.

Molly and Tyrone are looking at homes in Chester in the Rovers and Sally saunters by to have a nosy. She sees the houses they’re looking at and inquires as to whether or not they will be able to afford those prices. Molly points out that they wouldn’t be looking at them if they couldn’t. Sally seems stunned. Sally, of course, marches right over to Kev in the garage and demands to know what he paid Tyrone for his share of the garage after looking at the prices of homes that Molly and he had been looking at earlier. She gets snubbed off by Kevin, but insists to know. Kev tells Sal that he’s offered Tyrone fifteen grand. Queue open-mouthed shock from Sally.

Sophie and Sian are still trying to go away to this music festival together, and ask Sophie’s parents again, but to no avail. They’re still not allowed to go. What is the point of this storyline? I hope it becomes increasingly clear soon as it’s already become increasingly tiring. The two girls figure they have to lie now to get what they want. They tell Sal and Kev that they’ll be visiting Sian’s mum in Southport. Sophie’s worried that her mum would go mental if she found out. Sally and Kev seem to have no issue with them visiting Sian’s mum in Southport. Sally even thinks that it’s a chance for her to go down for the day to actually meet Sian’s mum. Of course, the girls veto this idea real quick. Oh, you know this won’t work out to plan, when do teenage plans ever? Well, except for mine. My mother still doesn’t know about that trip down south back when and she never will. I think.

HIGHLIGHTS
- Dialogue of the night: Charlotte: “This is a nightmare. Why did I let you talk me into this?” John: “Oh, is that what I did? Cause I got the impression I couldn’t keep you out of it!” Charlotte: “I should have known you were a lunatic after what you did to that Webster girl. You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. You know that?”
- Hayley in her hang-over aviator shades! I think it’s the coolest she’s ever looked! Someone needs to spike that punch on the daily!
- Is it just me or does it seem like Owen’s flirting with Carla almost more than, or just as much as with Liz? Or do men just always act that way around Carla?
- Charlotte walking around town on her mobile phone like she’s some kind of secret agent!
- Did anyone else just LOVE Julie’s hair this episode? I’ve got to try and do that to my own! I can’t say enough how I love her style! Certainly never see her at Audrey’s salon!
- Mary: “Jellyfish might have some passionate life all on their own that we know nothing about.” *pause* Roy: “I’ve often wondered.” Ha-ha.

LOWLIGHTS
- The constant sweating of John Stape. Have you ever SEEN so much guilt on someone’s face? I think he was worse than Tony Gordon after Liam!
- That Charlotte wanted some trouble, but now she can’t handle it! Don’t feel one bit sorry for the silly cow!
- Sunita passionately warning Molly of the “dangers” of nice suburban living. Sunita’s getting far too dramatic for to handle lately! Molly’s right, Sunita would be miserable wherever she lived.
- Cheryl and Lloyd dropping Russ off on Claire when she’s got four other kids to mind? Crazy.
- Sally and Kev being so dumb as to not realize that the dates that Sophie and Sian want to go see her mum coincide with the festival.
- Scary Mary for driving the Croppers nuts by taking over their entire wedding.