Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Saturday 9 May 2020

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


Can you hear the drums, Valandro's?  To celebrate Max's really, really boring speech - if David hadn't dozed off on the sofa he'd have certainly fallen asleep in the front row - Gail booked the whole family a slap-up dinner.  And where did she pick?  Valandro's, the restaurant everyone used to go to after The Clock fell out of favour and before the Bistro was built.  It was funny hearing it mentioned again in the show, like someone had bought a dress from Gamma Garments, but it was even funnier when David told Nicky that Leanne had to attend even though she had "issues" with Valandro's.  Those issues, of course, being that she used to own it until she promised a junior Duckworth sexual favours if he burned it down for the insurance money.  Nothing major then.


Of course this is all because the Bistro is still closed for refurbishment, though at least it's open for test events, with Sally and Tim nipping over to trial the new menu.  Sadly they didn't show us the new look onscreen, which left me incredibly frustrated.  I haven't been in a restaurant for over two months, Corrie!  It's your public duty to show people sitting down at a table and having a starter and drinking wine and tipping.  At this stage of lockdown that would be better than porn.


Follow the darkest path.  Nina once again proved that she is one of the best things to happen to the show for ages as she clocked a pervy schoolboy outside the cafe.  There were surprisingly few ramifications for this act of wanton violence against a child, but maybe his parents think he's an obnoxious little turd too and realised he deserved it.  She then gave Asha a masterclass in self-belief, confidence and disregard for the conventions of society; Asha seemed especially interested in the whole Goth thing.  This is no surprise for those of us who remember her make-up experiments last year, where she left the house looking like she was going to perform in kabuki theatre.  Asha would probably leap at the opportunity to pile on the slap.  It'd be nice for Nina to have a friend, because despite appearances, Goths are deeply social animals, never happier than clustering round a war memorial like a flock of ravens that somehow also know all the words to Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus.


Nina later put her creative talents to good use, sending Asha a delightful pen portrait, then sketching Roy in the cafe after hours:


While this was very sweet and everything part of me wonders if Roy would have actually preferred she helped him with degreasing the hot plate.


Acting is about reacting.  As Geoff spilled a load of old cobblers about his relationship with Yasmeen, Tim was naturally supportive, because (a) Geoff is his dad and (b) Tim is a little bit thick.  Sally, however, was less convinced.  How do we know this?  Because she pulled amazing "doubtful" faces at the back of every...


...single...


...scene.


She's about thirty seconds away from breaking the fourth wall, looking straight down the camera and saying "Don't worry viewers, I'm on your side!" and I love it.


Keep your family close.  Aw, Adam and Sarah-Lou are back from their honeymoon!  Finally.  I'm sure in the show it only lasted about two weeks but thanks to the spreading out of the episodes it's felt more like a gap year.  (They definitely didn't have Harry with them, by the way, so his continued absence becomes even more troubling.  Someone call Social Services!)  They returned to their new marital home which turns out to be... number eight.  Yep, even though she's now Mrs Barlow, Sarah-Lou can't bear to live more than six feet from Gail's toothbrush.  Where are they sleeping?  Is it still an airbed on the living room floor, as when she was with Gary?  That could get awkward, what with them being newlyweds; David will have to cough very loudly if he fancies getting a glass of water in the middle of the night.  Can they not move back into the shop flat now Daniel's feeling better, or, and here's a wild and crazy idea, can this solicitor and factory manager not, I don't know, get their own damn flat?  If Chesney and Gemma can afford to live at number 5 even though they've only got one minimum wage coming in and they have five children (and Bernie) to feed I'm sure Mr & Mrs Barlow can find a two bed in their price range somewhere.


Peter doesn't like musicals.  Now I like Peter Barlow.  He's funny and charming and has a roguish sexuality.  But on Monday's episode he admitted he doesn't like musicals, because they're "unrealistic".  That shows a distinct lack of imagination, Peter, and I'm very disappointed in you.  No, Peter, in real life people don't burst into song to express their deepest emotions, but in real life the universe isn't threatened by a giant purple muscleman and yet I bet you still watched Avengers Endgame (please note, I have not seen Avengers Endgame, so I don't know if this plot description is accurate).  Musicals are about joy and passion and if you can't understand that it shows a distinct lack of imagination.  I guess this means we'll never get a musical episode of Corrie, though given the disaster that was Street of Dreams (Julie Carp as the Angel of Death!  Richard Hillman singing Norman Bates With A Briefcase!  Paul O'Grady, for some reason!) this might be for the best.

There was sad news for the show as we learned Ali is now living in Liverpool.  As has been previously established, Liverpool is so distant and difficult to get to from Weatherfield it means we're unlikely to ever see him again.  On the plus side, that means he's now on my doorstep, so if you fancy a guided tour Ali, send me a message on Twitter @merseytart.





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10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree that it's about time that Sarah and Adam get their own place.
Max is a teenager who needs his own room and Lily also needs a room of her own I think Sarah is being selfish moving back into David's house just so she can dump the responbility of her son Harry [who's with Marian?]onto Gail.
Nina is becoming the saving grace of the Street these days!
Her father Richard would be so proud of her as Uncle Roy is.

Gav said...

"She's about thirty seconds away from breaking the fourth wall, looking straight down the camera and saying "Don't worry viewers, I'm on your side!" and I love it."

I lolled. Wonderful as usual.

Anonymous said...

Haha love the bit about Sally. She was ace!
Unpopular opinion but I'm not a fan of Nina, she really grates on me for some reason.

Humpty Dumpty said...

You're absolutely spot on about Sally. She will remember the bonfire, and she and Tim might go round to inspect the bin. Could she also find Geoff's phone and wonder what to do with it? We know Geoff gets his comeuppance but the fall-out between Tim and Sally will be interesting. The relatives of the abuser have to deal with the horrific reality. I wonder how much Tim will be changed by it.

Louby said...

Had we known anything about Tim's mum before this? I may have just forgotten but I didn't remember even knowing her name before this week.

Did Paul ever get out of prison for burning the restaurant down for Leanne? I know there's not really a reason for a Duckworth to return now Jack and Vera are gone, but it would be interesting to see what happened to Terry's kids. And Terry too. Last time we saw him, wasn't he attempting to open a lap dancing club on the street?

Sharon Boothroyd said...

Great post!
I'm sure the actress who plays Alya is pregnant, handbag held over belly, baggy top.Shona's and Sophie's tricks!
Does Ray still own The Bistro then?
I don't understand why high flying couple Adam and Sarah are living at The Platts, either. God knows what's happened to Harry. He's neither seen, nor mentioned, poor kid!
I'm a Nina fan.

Anonymous said...

It’s odd that Sarah and Adam live at the Platts. Almost as odd as Carla still living with Roy after all these years despite being a highflying businesswoman who’s used to sipping red wine from the balcony of her luxury apartment. I remember a time when Eileen’s house used to be the only ‘Tardis’ on the street. Now every single house is packed with a ridiculous amount of people! The cast is way too big and needs slimming down.

Anonymous said...

They have shown this side of Tim before, dogmatically refusing to accept any other version of events than the one he was settled on; I don’t know if he’s dense or just stubborn. The last time around, it was a refusal to believe that Sally had been faithful, preferring instead to believe that she was a fraudster, even when she was wrongfully imprisoned. Interesting that family loyalty now blinds him to much worse in his father when he was so willing to believe his wife’s guilt.

coconno196 said...

Yes Anon, Tim is being very gullible / stupid. We still don't know anything about his Mum. Maybe she left Tim with Geoff when Tim was very young, and he has since been brainwashed?

perkysmom said...

Dear Corrie writers: Why would Adam agree to move in with the Platts and their crazy house? Why isn't Sarah demanding a posh apartment or house plus a nanny for Harry? Why has Carla been "demoted" when she was a manager of a company and had a nice apartment? Why hasn't Tim ever given any hints about his upbringing and his father's behavior toward his mother (not even to Sally or Steve)? Maybe he forgot like he forgot that he got married in Las Vegas. No mention of Sophie (they could at least have a phone call to Kevin.)

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