Saturday, 16 September 2017

5 Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Kirk has the soul of a poet.  With his tribute to pregnant women - "like ripe blossoms, with big bottoms" - and his ode to Aidan - "you're the best boss ever, and you're name's not Trevor" - Kirk's a shoo-in to replace Carol Ann Duffy as Poet Laureate.

Gary is a big fan of Rupert Bear.  I can think of no other explanation for those trousers.

The Rovers is very generous with its measures.  Even I, a professional alcoholic, wouldn't fill a wine glass as much as Sarah-Lou.  No wonder she keeps bunking off her shifts; she must be costing Peter and Toyah a fortune.

Weatherfield's club scene is very small.  Three groups of people left Coronation Street for a night on the tiles, and they all ended up in the same bar.  Either StreetCars is on a back hander or the age of austerity has hit Weatherfield's nightlife pretty bad.  Alternatively, given you could still see daylight outside, maybe 'Cloud 99' was the only club that opened at four thirty in the afternoon.

RuPaul's Drag Race has finally reached Coronation Street.  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage... Miss Nesta Tables!  Let's be honest, we'd all pay good money to see Johnny lip sync for his life.  And with a beard like that, Aidan is a dead ringer for Kandy Ho.

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