Greetings fellow Corrie fans and welcome to another weekly update that’s hot off the press, fresh out the oven. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
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“She can sizzle my chipolata any time,” says Graeme about Michelle in the butchers. Graeme’s lusting after most of the women on the Street right now and he tells anyone who’ll listen that both Rosie and Natasha are after his mind, his body and his chipolata. When the girls find out what he’s been saying about them, Natasha gets him in the Rovers on the pretence of a date while Rosie tips a pint all over Graeme’s head, poor lad.
Another one with women troubles this week was our Kirk. He posted a picture of Jason on an internet dating site as he thought girls were more likely to be attracted to Jason than to him. Well, that may well be true. However, for those of us who like a bit more brain than brawn, Jason will always be in the second league, while Kirkeh, well, let’s just say he sits on the bench and watches the match. Anyway, a young girl in a wheelchair turns up in the Rovers from the virtual world to meet Kirk who she thinks looks like Jason. There’s a bit of confusion and Izzy the new girl gets off to a bad start with Kirk and rolls away down the cobbles in a bad mood. I hope she’ll be back soon, she seemed feisty and fun and she’s a checkout girl at Freshco. Meanwhile, Kirk remains single.
Across the road, one who’s had the wisdom of Kirk in her life is Julie, who sits with Fiz in matching face-packs, moaning the lack of a good man in her life. Fiz and John are lying to all and sundry that John’s new job is working in admin in a furniture factory. “I like furniture, me,” says Julie. Me too. Do you? Julie dreams of meeting John’s workmates and hopes there’s an eligible fella she can go on a double date with, with John and Fiz. But John’s really working as a teacher at Daisyfield High School under the pseudonym of Colin Fishwick using stolen ID and Fiz is not happy, oh no. She’d be even less happy if she knew that John aka Colin was being shown the darker recesses of his new school corridors by Rosie Webster Schoolgirl Minx 2.0
Molly has her baby scan and Tyrone pays extra to have it done in 3D and on DVD. He uploads it to YouTube and it’s all over the world wide womb. Kevin wants Molly to get rid of the baby, he’s in the corner shop shouting the odds and falls out with Tyrone too. Molly comes out with the best line of the week, telling Kevin: “It might not be your baby and it might not be Tyrone’s, but it’s mine and I’m keeping it!”. Well, that’s what she thinks. She and Tyrone drive to Diggory’s cottage in the countryside to tell him that he’s going to be a granddad but the car they drive off in is one that Kev’s working on and he’s not finished with it yet. Ye gods! The brakes aren’t fixed! Kevin drives off in his breakdown truck following Molly and Tyrone who’ve taken the scenic route round a pub lunch. As the Dobbs’ set off for Diggory’s, bits drop off their car. I know not what they were, because I nothing about cars but I guess the bits that dropped off were vital. I know this because the car then skidded and overturned and the camera panned in on a lifeless Molly and Tyrone inside.
Over in the salon, Natasha eyed up Nick, giving him the hairdresser’s chat up line: “Ooh, you’ve got lovely hair,” while Lewis came in to be transported to cuticle nirvana by a manicure from Audrey. “Take me to heaven,” he instructed as he regaled Audrey and Natasha with tales from his days running a gentlemen’s club in Nottingham. There are gentlemen in Nottingham? “I’ve always wanted to be a crumpier,” Natasha sighed.
And chez Windass, Anna’s over the moon to have Gary back for a few days even if his visit was unannounced. What they don’t realise is that Gary’s gone AWOL and he’ll soon turn up hiding in their shed - and I can’t say I blame him either.
Coronation Street writers this week were Coronation Street writers this week were Damon Rochefort, Jonathan Harvey, Jayne Hollinson, Mark Burt and Martin Allen. Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team.
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