John Who?: Mon Apr 12, 2010 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Peter Whalley, directed by Ian Bevitt

Stapid is still trying to convince Fiz that stealing Colin’s identity can only be a good thing.  Fiz knows he’ll end up right back in jail, sooner or later.  For me, sooner than later please.  He actually thinks no one will recognize him under another alias.  They don’t say a word to Chesney about the whole stolen-identity thing.  This just gets better – John now wants to change his name to Colin’s with the aid of someone he met in prison.  Old prison contacts are probably never good to use, unless that is you want to find yourself in there again.  Fiz’s mind must be spinning!!!  He says it’s the only way he can get back into teaching but Fiz says she doesn’t want him to get back into teaching.  Can you blame her? 

Of course, Ken and Deirdre overhear John and Fiz’s arguments and take their equal sides of the coin.  Stape really is young Ken, only without the charm.  Ken is busy with his sewing scissors cutting out a job ad that might be good for John.  Deirdre asks, “John who?”  Yes, Deirdre, John who.  Ken found a museum admin position for John but Deirdre doesn’t think museums hire ex-prisoners.  At the cafe, John is rooting through the teachers papers since he found a job that would be perfect for him – er, for someone without a criminal record.   Fiz shows John the museum services ad that Ken gave her to give to him and tells him he is not to impersonate Colin.  She wants him to accept that he’ll never get back into teaching.  John can’t hear no, and is still on this scheme of his.  Fiz is angry, and rightfully so, that he’d risk their life together just so he can teach again.  John tells Fiz he’s already applied for a job, using the false name and she is not happy.  Fiz needs to take a page from the book of Eileen and drop this loser to the curb.  John tells her he’ll call the place tomorrow and cancel his application, if it makes her happy.  He’s going to have to do a lot more than that now.  John continues to ask Fiz “where could it go wrong?”  Oh, I just want to slap him!  John tells her how he would have opened an account in Colin’s name and drawn from it.  Oh, because that worked out well for Janice Battersby.  I can’t say idiot enough.  Chesney is upset that John and Fiz are keeping secrets from him.  Trust me Ches, you don’t want to know.   

Ken and Deirdre talk about Stape’s life – how he went wrong and how he can recover.  Ken feels bad for him, but Deirdre thinks he’s getting his just desserts for locking folk up in attics.  He is NEVER going to live that down.  He should write a book about locking folk up in the attic, since he’ll be know for it forever, at least he could make some profit off of it.  Speaking of never living things down, Deirdre brings up Ken’s affair with Martha-on-the-barge.  Later in the Rovers they find Fiz and Stape and Deirdre tells Fiz that if John’s anything like Ken he’ll never be content unless he’s found whatever he’s set his heart on.  Ah, dreamers.  Fiz’s spine goes to jelly again, as she lets John go through with his hairbrained scheme.   

Molly insists that she hide her pregnancy still and Tyrone wonders how long she thinks she can keep it secret for.  Molly tells him when she gets used to the idea  herself, they’ll tell people.  People are going to start thinking she’s one of these people.  Tyrone is droning on to Kev about Molly’s pregnancy and shouting in the street about it, which gets Molly testy.  Kevin goes into Dev’s to see her later and promises that if she and Tyrone want to raise this baby he won’t go saying something stupid to spoil it all.  Is that a promise he can make? 

Sophie’s on the phone with Sian begging to see her again, she wants to talk about things.  Ryan has been to the barber’s and finally gotten rid of that helmet haircut.  Hallelujah!  He was going to end up looking like Gail Platt soon!  He tells Sophie that Sian’s left Southport since this morning and has no idea where she is.  Sophie heads off to Southport anyway eventhough her father told her not to – as if anyone listens to Kev.  Kev finds that Sophie’s missing and leaves her threatening voice messages that he’ll call the police.  Rosie thinks he should just ignore Sophie and Kev accepts that, but when she gets back he wants to know what’s going on.  Meanwhile, Sophie’s at Sian’s and Sian is angry with her but lets her come in for ten minutes – on one condition – she’s not to touch her.  Sian tells Sophie that she’s not a lesbian.  Sophie tells her that she doesn’t know what she is and Sian says when she finds out she could let her know.  Sian tells her they’re not friends anymore.  This girl is just hot-cold-hot-cold. 

Sophie arrives back home to get a dressing down from her dad and he tells her she’s never going anywhere again, to which she’s okay with since she’s got nothing to go nowhere for.  Er, something like that.  Rosie asks Sophie what’s going on later in her room and thinks she might be upset because of a lad.  Rosie tries to cheer her up by telling her that her mates were always crossed by lads and she’ll be laughing about it next week.  Oh, I don’t know about that. 

Kirk tells Graeme how he’s considering online dating and is shocked when Graeme says he’s already got two women.  Natasha walks by and Graeme tries his best to ask her out but gets the ‘ole brush.  Graeme is like a bad smell and just won’t let Natasha be.  I’m sure his persistence will pay off one day, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Graeme is out eating chips with Kirk when he sees Rosie doing what looks like the walk-of-shame since she’s all messed up in last night’s clothes.  Rosie tells Graeme of what happened to Kyle “Assorted Sauces” Dmitri.  Rosie laps the compliments up a little easier than Natasha.  Kirk wants to know what would happen if they both go out with him.  Graeme says he’ll then have a very short but happy life.  Later, Graeme’s at the bar with Ashley when Natasha shows up, but she’s more interested in small talk with Ashley than she is Graeme.  Oh, poor Graeme. 

Leanne’s at the cab office about to go into town to meet her mate Cheryl.  Lloyd overhears this and insists that Steve hold the fort and he’ll drive Leanne.  Steve finds out Lloyd has a crush, so drives Leanne instead leaving Lloyd with only a “hello” to give Cheryl through Leanne.  Leanne’s back and Lloyd immediately wants to know if Cheryl said anything about him.  Leanne says she didn’t but she happened to drop a good word in for him.  Lloyd goes to spread the good word to Steve and Steve questions whether or not Cheryl and Leanne used to “work together.”  No flies on Steve!  

Steve and Becky are stressed out over their upcoming adoption agency interview.  Becky figures they’ll take one look at her and think she’s in the wrong place and should be looking for the needle exchange.  Becky tells Steve that the first social worker who looks her nose down at her, she’s going to clock her one.  Later, Becky comes into the Rovers to surprise Steve with her new hairdo.  Okay, bleach blond curly bob – check, leopard clothing – check, too much slap – check, sass – check.  All that’s missing is that zig-zag necklace and we’ve got Liz 2.0!  Becky’s even got herself a new Liz-worth wardrobe.  All she needs to do now is tone down the gold chains, she’s got more than Mr.T! 

Eddie Windass has stepped out in his Sunday best which looks more like something you’d find in a clown’s junk chest.  Why, you ask?  Well, he and Anna are on their way to an adoption interview also.  Why on earth would these two want to adopt a kid at this stage in their lives?  Why don’t they just become foster parents?

At the adoption meeting, the McDonalds immediately spot the Windasses, both couples obviously wondering why the other is there.  Becky and Steve get the “what if you’ve been to jail, can you still adopt?” question out of the way.  Becky feels hopeful now, but she doesn’t like how long the process will take. 

At home, Eddie reminds Anna that they’re not going to give them another Gary, just another stranger.  He’s not so sure he’s up for that, he’s too old. 

HIGHLIGHTS

- The cross-reference between Stape and Fiz and Ken and Deirdre.

- Becky nervous about interviewing for the adoption agency reflects that it was easy to be a mum to Amy – all she had to do was marry Steve.  Then his response - “easy as that.”  

- Ken cutting out a job ad from the paper and telling Deirdre it might be good for John, to which she replies, “John who?”

- Becky’s new hairdo is fantastic!

- Ryan got rid of the helmet!  I guess he’s more Anakin Skywalker than Darth Vader now. 

- Rosie sticking up for her sister against her father’s barking

LOWLIGHTS

- Molly wanting to hide her pregnancy for as long as possible.  What purpose is that going to serve?  It’s not going to change the outcome and only look more suspicious. 

- John Stapid and his bird-brained scheme to steal an identity and forge a new one with the aid of an old prison mate.  Let’s just hope this scheme lands him in prison for long time. 

- Ouch! How rude Sian is towards Sophie after their awkward kiss. 

Overall Episode Rating: 7/10

Drama: 8/10, Humour: 6/10, Classic Corrie: 7/10, Wow Factor: 6/10