O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! It's the end of Reg Holdsworth (appearances in spin-offs aside). Eric told Curly Reg could have the job in East Anglia if he contacted him by four; Maud, who didn't want to move, didn't tell him. It looked like he'd miss his chance as his car broke down on the Pennines but he managed to get back in time and toddled off to Lowestoft. Maureen went to help him settle in and Alf helped out in the shop. And that was the last we saw of Ken Morley, leaving aside terrible sitcoms, getting kicked out of Big Brother for being awful, and sexually harassing Kelly Crabtree on Celebrity Come Dine With Me. The Malletts continued to make an impression, as Gary installed his drum kit to the horror of Percy, and Judy painted the front door the blue it'd be for the next twenty-five years. Tommy got measles, so Vera went to Blackpool; Jack used the opportunity to look for agency barmaids to replace her and Betty. Elsewhere, Tony started working at the garage, Bill did some odd jobs at the Crimea Street flats with Deirdre, and Sean told Des and Liz to get along better.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 29th November and 1st December 1995
Remember Denise's boring brother-in-law Brian from last week? He returned to help Denise with her accounts and, it turned out, something more than that. Apparently they'd had an affair years ago and now they'd decided to reignite it. I'm not sure how Denise can go from Ken to someone even more dull. Remember when she was married to Neil the Hot Builder? That seems a long time ago. Jack filled in for Vera's absence with agency barmaids. First there was Mags from EastEnders, who decided to quit because she thought the clientele at the Rovers were either mad or miserable. Next came Lorraine, who was hopeless at being a barmaid but had certain other charms Jack appreciated. Mainly in her blouse. The football lads went bowling with Maxine and Fiona so they could persuade Tony to defect to their team. Fiona used her feminine wiles and then, at the Mallett's house-warming party, she gave him a snog. Bill and Jim worked together at Crimea Street, and decided to make it a permanent arrangement; Bill also managed to wangle a flat while he was there. Gail tried to strike a deal with Don about number 5. He still told her where to go.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 4th and 6th December 1995
Vera returned from Blackpool and caught Jack giving Lorraine a lesson in how to pull the pumps (not a euphemism). She insisted he sack her, then apologised to Betty and persuaded her to return. Rita decided to go on a cruise and take Mavis with her, much to Derek's annoyance. He asked her not to go but Mavis loved the idea. Rita got Derek to run the Kabin while she was away by practicing reverse psychology and telling him he couldn't manage it. Steve went and got his hair done by Fiona where they exchanged barbed insults with one another. Vicky was angry to hear about it, though she should've been angrier that Fiona didn't shave off his tragic excuse for a goatee as well. Alf was getting his OBE and Audrey got all dressed up for the event. However, her dilly-dallying meant they missed their train. Don agreed to drive them down but Audrey bickered with him about the business with Nicky. The row got nasty at Scratchwood services, with her telling Don that it was no wonder Ivy went into the convent after his carrying on (true dat) and he drove off and left her behind. She hitched a lift and got to Buckingham Palace only to discover Alf had received his honour... with Betty, who'd been in the crowds outside, unlikely as that seems. Audrey was furious, and Alf blamed Don for ruining her day, so he drove off and left the Roberts behind.
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 8th and 11th December 1995
It was the 35th anniversary of Coronation Street, and to celebrate, they decided to make everyone lose their minds. Kevin and Sally lent Bill some money to pay an outstanding tax bill which really annoyed Rita for some reason. She told Sally that she'd given them that money to help them out not to go to a "sponger" - that'll be Kevin's dad, remember - and Sally told her that her family were not for sale and she could get lost. Bill went and told Rita he was going to pay them back and she should keep her oar out. She went off on her cruise with Mavis. Des tried it on with Liz again, and she told him to get a girlfriend; he went in the Rovers and ended up seducing Raquel. She was filled with hope until the next morning when she realised she'd been used. To get over it she... proposed marriage to Curly? I mean, that seems pretty extreme. She demanded they get married right away, suddenly, with no guests, and come on Curly, there are more red flags than a Red Square parade. He still went ahead though because he's a bit sad. Raquel had a sob in the toilets first but finally they had a wedding that was about as romantic as a bout of dysentry. Then they went off on their honeymoon - a cruise. If you want to know what happened you'd have to buy the spin-off video because it was all offscreen (it is on YouTube, if you've got an hour and a half to spare and have very low standards when it comes to entertainment). Back on the Street, Des told Liz about his dalliance with Raquel, and she got angry because apparently while she didn't want him, she didn't want him to go with anyone else. Andy walked in on the two of them in number 8 and jumped to conclusions.
FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 13th and 15th December 1995
In a rather Poochie-esque development, half the conversation in the first episode involved the characters wondering what Rita and Mavis and Raquel were up to on their holiday. Why, if only there were some way for us viewers to see their fun-packed antics on the QEII! Mavis did at least send a postcard, though it arrived with one from that damn gnome as well, postmarked Southampton, so Derek convinced himself Rita was responsible. He was soon distracted when Norris turned up, asking Dirk to be his best man at his wedding to Angela. Liz told Andy that she'd got close to Des because Jim had been such a scumbag over the last few weeks. She avoided Des, because she found it all so confusing, and so he put in a request for a transfer to Sean. Sean didn't want to lose his manager and suggested they sack Liz instead. Jim was too busy to notice, selling his beloved motorbike to the Malletts so he could afford a van for his new business with Bill. They hared around on it, disturbing the neighbours, then lowered the tone even further by putting up a Christmas decoration in the window: a red neon sign saying Santa's Nookie Nest. Vile. Denise's sister turned up and said her husband was having an affair, though she had no actual evidence, which was obviously awkward for Denise. Partly because she was the one sleeping with Brian, and partly because if someone found out about her affair they'd realise what terrible taste in men she had. The highlight though was Maureen and Alma taking Audrey out to a Greek restaurant to cheer her up; they all got hammered on ouzo and ended up dancing with a hot waiter. Good on you girls!
It's Christmas on Classic Corrie next week - again - so please send your presents to me via Twitter @merseytart. DM button's in the corner.
Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every afternoon; the start time is a bit variable. You can always watch it on the ITV Hub however.
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2 comments:
Jack was awful this week, slapping Raquel’s bottom and being hands on and leery with the new barmaid. I thought that sort of thing would have been unacceptable on Corrie in 1995.
Weird isn't it?! Like watching ancient history. I don't remember the 90's being like that!
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