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Thursday 24 December 2015

Coronation Street Christmas Eve Review

It's a nightmare before Christmas for Robert as he is summonsed to the prison to meet his namesake and love-rival. They can't punch each other's festive lights out, so Jonathan Harvey has them bitch at each other. Robert claims that he is not threatened by someone with "a designated bed-time", but Mr Just For Men seems a little rattled, even as he tells Rob that he has won because he's "out there" and Rob's "in here."

Tracy "Mardy Knickers" Barlow is still hoping for an "awesome" present, which she finds, not under the tree, but in Robert's coat pocket: a giant, sparkly engagement ring that didn't come out of a cracker. But with Robert telling her it's going to be a Christmas to remember, is he going to kick her to the kerb, or will he do what he promises Rob and make her Mrs Preston (again)? By the way, why does Tracy complain that she waited ages for a man and then two came along at once? She had Tony on her arm between Rob and Robert. More importantly, where is Big Jim? No room at the Big House for a Christmas cameo?

Meanwhile, Tyrone is still submerging his feelings about Hope's illness in the Lapland spectacular. All the residents are helping to decorate the street, including Sally, who sees "nothing wrong with a Snowball before midday" and Mary, who's excited about her two-course extravaganza "with optional pudding" with Brendan on 25th. Let's hope that she's not still talking about Brendan when she's telling an anecdote about using the wrong entrance at Christmas.

The snow machine's not working, the fuse in the lights have blown and, worst of all, Hope's not allowed out of hospital. But it's Hope by name, Hope by nature - as the trees finally light up, Fiz and Hope appear from a cab and the Brown-Dobbs family watch the stars come out, surrounded by friends and neighbours; it's a Christmas miracle.

David is still feeling aggrieved about Kylie's understandable anger about him walking out her and the kids, compounded by his taking Max to see Granny Marian. He doesn't understand why Kyles can't see the good in him when others can, but hardly helps his case when he says that there's "no excitement, passion or trust" between them. Let's hope that he's visited by three spirits (no, not Callum's ghost) overnight to help him change his ways.

Anna and Kevin flirt over mince pies whilst Tim and Craig have their work do in the cafe (without a stripper - is that really an office party thing? Not photocopying your nether regions and snogging someone unsuitable in the stationery cupboard?), before Tim has to go into town to do last minute all of his Christmas shopping. After buying a kneeling pad and a floral trowel for Sally's lady garden, it's up to Kevin to give him some tips on romantic present buying, something that only endears him further to Anna (I imagine Eddie's idea of romance was heating up a Vesta curry for two and Owen's was spending an evening without bellowing at someone).
The ghosts of Christmas past are brought up as Ken sorrowfully looks at Deirdre's photograph on this first Christmas without her, and the nouveau Connors decorate their tree with their mother's ornaments and drink a toast to her memory.

Have a Corrie Christmas, everyone!

Rachel on twitter.

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Anonymous said...

Of course it's a Christmas miracle - the child named Hope has got the cancer on eve of the birth of the Hope and Light of the World. We couldn't have it ending in tears, could we?

Sally's "lady garden" sounds like something best left to description during sex ed class... which caused unexpected sniggering at the adjoining terms "kneeling pad" and "floral trowel".

The Grinch said...

When I'd finished laughing at the name of the garden shop, I couldn't help thinking how ludicrous Tyronne's whole "Lapland in Weatherfield" idea has been.

He's already maxed out his credit cards, yet can afford two dozen huge Christmas trees - at what? £100 each? And all of them placed in the road. Barriers all along the street. I wonder where he got those?

I do wish the producers would realise that sometimes, less is more. One large tree in their back garden, covered in lights fake snow on the ground and seeing Hope's face light up when she saw it would have been just as emotional, in fact more so, and certainly far more convincing.

And for that matter, what kind of father is more concerned with his daughter seeing his handiwork than getting over her infection?

Bah Humbug!


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