Coronation Street Weekly Update April 7 - 11

Greetings and welcome to the Coronation Street Weekly Update (written by our Flaming Nora). A bazillion thanks go to weekly update writers Karen, Janet and Richard who have done sterling work over the last three weeks. And very special thanks go to the wonderful Barry for writing the updates for the few weeks prior to that while I took an extended break. And now I’m back and raring to go so without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Find out more about theCoronation Street Weekly Updates and why they've been written for th'internet since 1995 at http://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk

The big story this week has been the wedding of sham and the wedding of shame. The sham wedding was Graeme’s marriage to Xin, pronounced Sheen or Shin or Chin or Cheen or Zin or Gin, to secure a visa, prounced veeza, to allow her to stay in this country. Tina’s not too happy when Graeme and Shin are pronounced husband and wife and she’s even less best pleased when
Graeme and his new bride Chin get to grips with the visa formalities and share a tender moment deciding what colour pen ink to use.

The other wedding, the wedding of shame was David’s marriage to Kylie who is now Mrs Platt the younger. Gail did her best to bribe the bride with a used envelope full of cash, just like they do in The Sopranos, hoping Kylie would take a thousand pounds to do a runner. She did, straight to the tackiest dress shop she could find and spent the cash on a wedding outfit that knocks Gail sick then spends the rest of it on a Platt honeymoon to Tenerife. And I know I’m not the only Corrie fan to call it Tenerefee. For those who like
to know these things, guests at the wedding included an unlikely comedy pairing of Sally and Kirk. Sally was in full wedding outfit mode complete with fascinator. Sally looked fascinating and it’s fair to say that Kirk was
fascinated. “I wish there was a Mrs. Kirk,” he laments to Audrey at the reception in the Rovers over a wedding breakfast of Scotch egg and kebab.

Away from the Weatherfield weddings, there’s disharmony at Underworld when Frank Foster wants his knicker order ready on time, as per contract, and Maria hasn’t got a clue about managing the girls and Sean at the factory and it all goes a bit pants. This storyline bores me rigid, it really does. Maria is not a character I’ve ever admired. To have her cut hair in the salon was just about as much as I could stand but now she’s in management at the factory and trying to round up the workforce with her voice so shrill I swear it’s on a frequency that sets off the burglar alarm three doors down from us. And just where is that baby of hers when she’s at work? Eh?

Elsewhere, Anna and Eddie are having trouble with little FayeE who’s moved in with them for good. First off, FayeE nicks Fiz’s handbag which has a load of nicked money in it that Fiz has procured from Joy Fishwick’s will. Then, FayE tells Gary that she saw Eddie hit Anna. Eddie would never, could never, hurt a fly and would certainly never harm his loving wife. But the rot’s started with FayE. “She needs psychiatrists and that, we’re out of our depth,” Eddie tells Anna and you know that he’s right.

Now then, you know when the TV continuity announcer makes a stern statement before Corrie comes on that you’re in for something special. So my ears pricked up when she gave a warning that Monday night’s double episodes of Corrie would contain” some dramatic scenes of violence” and would come “with scenes of gun violence.” Cor, I thought. Cor. What she really should have warned us about was that Corrie would contain some scenes of Big Jim McDonald acting a right eejit, so he does, which would have been more accurate, so it would. Unable to raise the cash to buy the Rovers, Jim gets a gun off his ex-jailmate, goes into the building society and demands some
cash. He hands the bag over, points the gun, cries “Wun hundred and twenty thoysand poynds in the bag. Noy.” Scared bank teller rings the alarm, cops surround the building, Liz cries on the phone, Jim declares his love for
Elizabeth, there’s much use of black and white CCTV footage, no doubt to hike up the tension a notch on the “dramatic scenes of violence” scale from ‘zero’ to ‘a bit’ , Jim gives himself up, Liz cries a bit more. What the point of that story was is anyone’s guess but it was disappointing from beginning to end and a bit daft.

More interesting was the arrival of Roy Cropper’s mum who turned up this week after attending the funeral of Roy’s step-dad. Roy didn’t go to the funeral, he didn’t want anything to do with his step-dad. Roy’s mum storms into the café, looks around and her first words are: “I knew this was a bad idea.” Well it goes from bad to worse when she finds out that her boy Roy is now a married man and he hadn’t breathed a word to his own mother about it.

And that's just about that for this week. It’s nice to be back.

This week's writers Damon Rochefort, Julie Jones, Jayne Hollinson, Mark Wadlow and Joe Turner.Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team at:

http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2008/11/exclusive-all-current-corrie-writers.html