Coronation Street Weekly Update April 7 - 11

The weekly update is brought to you this week by the lovely Janet Waterhouse.

Well, there’s a couple of important weddings coming up over here in the UK ... yes, there’s still the royals in a bit but later this week there’s the impending double ceremony between David and Kylie plus Xin and Graham. Or possibly not, it’s all getting a bit complicated (as ever).

Tina is getting more and more perturbed over the fact that people are starting to believe the latter couple are, well, a couple. There’s hardly any opportunities for Tina and Graham to have it ... you know, it ... and when she does, Xin and Rita pop in, barely giving Tina enough time to jump behind the sofa and cover herself with a manky blanket that Xin has washed a new detergent which makes Tina sneeze. Rita wants the engaged pair to be a bit more respectful of Tina’s feelings, Xin just wants to get rid of the sneezing mice.


Over at the Platts, after hearing about her horrendous upbringing complete with sexually abusive father, Gail tries to make friends with Kylie and hands over £100 to buy her wedding dress. Only Kylie has other ideas and uses the money to take David out for a booze-up at Nick’s new bistro, imaginatively called Nick’s Bistro. After harassing Audrey at the salon over plans to sign it over to David, Gail pops into the bistro to have a go at Nick and thereby discovering Kylie and David living it up. Fuming, she sits at the bar, knocking back a couple and ruining the air of sophistication NIck is trying to create. He’s also trying to get on with serving his paying customers after being left short-handed but Gail doesn’t care a fig about others when she’s got a problem. Leggy Cheryl walks in and gets her job back. Finally to get rid, Nick says he’ll put on his thinking cap to stop the wedding, though if living with her future mother-in-law hasn’t put Kylie off, then nothing will!

Speaking of Audrey, she has other things on her mind after Claudia’s fella Marc calls her in a blind panic. He’s at the police station but answering to Marcy. Yes, as we could all tell from the legs, that woman coming out of his house the other night was Marc in a killer dress, heels and blonde wig. He’s been beaten up rather badly as a result and could only reveal his true nature to Audrey who takes him home, gives him some (male) clothing, a bit of TLC and some bandages. Marc is planning on hiding from Claudia till the bruises fade and the swellings go down. On a side note, it was really pleasant to see that picture of Alfie in full mayoral garb in the background.

He’s alright Jim Macdonald, so he is, if you like your men bitter and abusive. Mary certainly seems to, making moon eyes at him over her vodka and cranberry. He’s thrilled beyond belief that he’s managed to make his way back into Liz’s bed but if there’s not something fishy about the money he claims he inherited from a maiden aunt, why is he making dodgy phone calls to raise the cash to buy the pub? Steve and Becky have decided that they’ll accept Jim’s offer so they can start afresh with Amy and Max. Hang on, they have met Tracy Barlow, who would just as soon clock you with a statue than try to sort out a problem. They’ve not got a prayer of escaping the pure vindictiveness that will drive her to hunt them down if they take a minute longer bringing Amy back from school let alone disappear to Spain. It doesn’t stop Steve from managing to get Amy to bring her passport to him, though. I guess they think that if it worked for Claire Peacock and the boys, it will work for them.

Apparently Simon’s talent for mimicry extends to such an extent that his impression of Deirdre with Blanche’s old specs and a felt tip for a fag means that even Ken couldn’t tell them apart. Now, there’s a scene I’d like to see, it would rank right up there with Blanche attending Peter’s AA meeting, my favourite scene of all time! He’s managed to land the lead role in the school’s rendition of Joseph and the Amazing Colour Dreamcoat which I saw many years ago with Donny Osmond in the lead. Simon that is, not Peter or Ken. Cheryl’s not that bothered that young prodigy Russ is only in the chorus, at least she’s spared the harassment of making the costume. Yes, I remember having to make countless costumes for school plays and ballet recitals and I don’t even have children, just a sewing machine!

In the competition for best dressed car, Eddie’s efforts to impress Fay by picking her up in a taxi decorated with a huge ribbon wrapped around it is completely overshadowed by Kevin’s gift of a brand new motor, all part of his scheme to try to win Sally back. She’s not impressed and is having none of it or him.

New kid on the block Tommy Duckworth seems to be settling in nicely as Tyrone’s new lodger. He’s a Duckworth alright, making a play for each new female he comes across but neither Sian or Tina are interested. If he’s determined to get lucky, Deirdre’s probably his best bet.

Finally, Gary gets a van thanks to Owen pushing money at him; the fact it had a ton of manure in it is only a minor issue. And Fiz is sinking into more and more trouble as she keeps spending Colin Fishwick’s inheritance – has she not learned from John’s example?

That’s it for now from me. Glenda’s back next week after her extended leave so I’ll just leave a couple of packets of Tunnock’s for her over there with the new throw cushions. I tossed out the manky blanket, it was making me sneeze. Welcome back, Glenda!!

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