Evening Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.
The terribly-boring-money-laundering storyline continues, as Zeedan finds that the Speed Daal van where he’s left all the dirty cash, (cunningly concealed beyond the wit of any thief), has disappeared. When his vertically challenged ex-father-in-law finds out, he tells Zeedan that he will arrange for the restaurant to be burnt down so that they can claim the insurance money. When Zee refuses, he’s told that it’s either the restaurant or his nan’s house. Zeedan doesn’t have much luck with wives does he. The first one was so bored by him she left him for the intensely irritating Kate Connor and the second seems to have been a member of the Corleone Family.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the rest of her family Yasmeen has decided to give Stu the keys to Speed Daal so that he can cook a meal for Zeedan and impress him into giving him a job in the kitchen. That’s the second person in a week who’s given Stu the keys to an empty building. I’m surprised he ended up homeless with those skills of persuasion. Here’s a plan Stu, ditch Weatherfield, rock up to the Manchester Hilton and hypnotise the doorman into giving you the Presidential Suite.
Over at No. 9, Phill announces that he’s having his bathroom done so Fiz rashly suggests he moves in. Before you can say, ‘artisan tiles’ he’s filled her living room with his possessions and invited his mum Mimi round. Mimi seems to be some sort of cross between Dame Edna Everage and Hyacinth Bucket, and Fiz somehow gets inveigled into co-organising a posh birthday party for Phill with her. As the writers no doubt want to get Fiz and Tyrone back together, I assume her arrival means Phill is going to turn out to be a covert thumb-sucking mummy’s-boy and Fiz will realise she doesn’t want to play second-fiddle or have to learn how to iron his boxers the way his mum does.
In sociopath news, Curtis continues to lie to Emma and his dad, and Aggie finds out about (dis)Grace leaving Glory on her own. When she’s confronted Grace admits that she doesn’t want to be a mum and offers to sell her baby to Aggie for £20k. There seems to be a lot of baby-selling in Weatherfield doesn’t there (Terry Duckworth, Kylie). Maybe someone should start up a business. Given the number of accidental pregnancies I reckon you’d make fortune in commission.
Elsewhere, Summer’s crush on Daniel intensifies when he helps her with her English homework by reading out a love poem. He writes it down to explain pentameter (for the love of God man just tell her to go to the school library) and she gleefully takes it, no doubt to put under her pillow. When he offers her a lift home they’re spotted by stalker-in-training Max who films them together. Hmm I imagine giving a 17-year-old a love poem written in his own handwriting is going to come back to bite Mr Osbourne on his arse!
Back with the terribly-boring-money-laundering, Zeedan decides to go along with the dodgy plan. He goes to Speed Daal as Stu is in the toilet and, assuming the place is empty, leaves the door open for Hashim’s two thugs to go in and set light to the place. Now I’m no expert on arson, but wouldn’t it have been a better idea to wait until the middle of the night to do this, you know when there aren’t loads of people milling around at a street market? Anyways, Cathy and Brian notice the restaurant is on fire and dial 999. Billy goes to tell the Nazir’s what’s going on and they soon realise that Stu is trapped inside. Zeedan goes in and drags him out and he’s taken away in an ambulance.
Alya is furious with her brother when, at the hospital, he subtly starts to suggest that Stu may be responsible for the fire. She tells him he should leave but oblivious to his involvement Yasmeen tells them how she couldn’t bear losing him.
And that’s it for this week. I shall spend the weekend in a vigil for Stu. Join my ‘Don’t kill off Stu you unconscionable bastards’ campaign in the comments section or on twitter @mskelstar.
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