Well Peter should know - he has done time. I understand that making fun of women being unable to cook (eg Aggie) is a recurrent theme but Peter is complaining about Chef Amy and porridge - can anyone prepare inedible porridge? If it is that bad Peter make it yourself. Oats, milk microwave - what more do you need? These days they even have packets which show how much milk to add!
David has been summoned to Underworld so that Nick can explain that he has not been dumped by Leanne but that she is going into hiding as she has been acting as a police informer and he is not going with her. Whilst Nick and Sarah discuss events David is clearly bored and decides to improve his hair using one of the glass doors as an impromptu mirror! I am not sure it shows any improvement by the time he has finished!
Cathy does not want a fuss for her sixtieth birthday so as she arrives in the caff Roy wishes her a happy birthday - which she regards as a "fuss". Brian quite reasonably points out that Roy is simply delivering best wishes and not doing cartwheels in his underpants in the Street as her birthday entertainment. Even Roy agrees that might be a bit much!
Tyrone is down in the dumps so Abi turns up the heat on Kev to take his mate Ty for a cheeky pint once they have finished. Kev is not looking forward to listening to the lovelorn Tyrone talking about his pining for Alina and asks when Abi acquired a conscience. As she explains above she bought it on eBay last week! (above).
Blink and you might miss him. High speed Dirk dashed through the background of this shot as Natasha was asking Gail to childmind Sam later on. So just like with Nick and David and Sarah - Natasha sees Gail as only useful to look after children! Gail will do it because she was afraid that she would see no more of Sam once Nick departed for his "holiday". Anyway Dirk is not working from home! Talking of Gail let us celebrate that for a few seconds she has stopped scowling and complaining and when Natasha waves around a bottle of wine her response ("It's five o'clock somewhere") reminded me of a much younger Gail - the one that enjoyed life before getting mixed up with a serial murderer, a psychotic fraudster (who has just met a very hot end in Emmerdale), a conman and tangling with Eileen. I don't think it will last.
Cathy has, like Leanne, gone into hiding - at Yasmeen's, unlike Leanne. Brian has just been partaking of his dinner at Speed Dahl - meal for one please - and Yasmeen is concerned that he will worry if he does not hear from Cathy. Cathy refuses to let Brian in on the secret and he is unable to keep a secret and as she says he has a mouth like a clown's pocket, implying that everything that goes in comes out again!
Even I am still trying to work out how you would confuse Neil Armstrong and Lao Tzu but given that Faye is about to be a convicted felon I have been wondering for some weeks how Craig thought his relationship would be acceptable to the police force but does not seem to have occurred to either of them before Friday night - the lack of brain power between that pair is seriously worrying.
How long has R'Toyota been back on t'Street? 3 years? 4 years? When she came back we understood she was a trained counsellor and we all thought she would sort of the Street's mental problems in weeks. No longer a counsellor and working in Underworld she suddenly gets a gig in sorting out Ty and Fiz's marriage problems, in the Bistro with Bernie involved in the conversation. Bernie reckons she is involved as Chesney's common law mother-in-law she is in some way related to Fiz! Needless to say the counselling session did not go well and I bet Toyah was glad to get a phone call from the factory with some beads which need counting! She must have a really high powered job there!
"Nina" made a great job of the wedding dress and I thought it should be recorded for posterity! Wardrobe did an excellent job!
Physical distancing in evidence as Mary tells the story of a white fedora and a blind date. I would love to think that someone, somewhere takes all of Mary's amazing stories (and there must be hundreds down the years), splices them all together and uploads them to the internet - I am not sure if they have all been written by Damon Alexis-Rochefort although I think he was responsible for tonight. Mary needed the fedora for a rendition of Smooth Criminal at Mother's church in aid of disadvantaged children (for those unaware it is a Michael Jackson song from Bad). She then wore the fedora for the blind date and her date made no comment on it until too much alcohol had been consumed! He was married with kids and the fedora was ruined.
Indeed it seems Tracy has had exactly the same idea. I just hope engineers are pulling the recordings now for "Mary the Mini-Series"!
And with that I shall bid you goodbye until next week!
Writers this week: Sam Holdsworth (Monday); John Kerr & David Isaac (Tuesday); Susan Oudot & Jan McVerry (Wednesday); Julie Jones & Damon Alexis-Rochefort (Friday)
Writers this week: Sam Holdsworth (Monday); John Kerr & David Isaac (Tuesday); Susan Oudot & Jan McVerry (Wednesday); Julie Jones & Damon Alexis-Rochefort (Friday)
Directors this week: Gill Wilkinson (Monday); Lee Trevor & Ian Barber (Tuesday); Ian Barber (Wednesday & Friday)
Kosmo
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