Corrie Comicals week ending Friday 16 April 2021

Well Peter should know - he has done time.  I understand that making fun of women being unable to cook (eg Aggie) is a recurrent theme but Peter is complaining about Chef Amy and porridge - can anyone prepare inedible porridge?  If it is that bad Peter make it yourself.  Oats, milk microwave - what more do you need?  These days they even have packets which show how much milk to add!

David has been summoned to Underworld so that Nick can explain that he has not been dumped by Leanne but that she is going into hiding as she has been acting as a police informer and he is not going with her.  Whilst Nick and Sarah discuss events David is clearly bored and decides to improve his hair using one of the glass doors as an impromptu mirror!  I am not sure it shows any improvement by the time he has finished!

Cathy does not want a fuss for her sixtieth birthday so as she arrives in the caff Roy wishes her a happy birthday - which she regards as a "fuss".  Brian quite reasonably points out that Roy is simply delivering best wishes and not doing cartwheels in his underpants in the Street as her birthday entertainment.  Even Roy agrees that might be a bit much!

Tyrone is down in the dumps so Abi turns up the heat on Kev to take his mate Ty for a cheeky pint once they have finished.  Kev is not looking forward to listening to the lovelorn Tyrone talking about his pining for Alina and asks when Abi acquired a conscience.  As she explains above she bought it on eBay last week!  (above).

Blink and you might miss him.  High speed Dirk dashed through the background of this shot as Natasha was asking Gail to childmind Sam later on.  So just like with Nick and David and Sarah - Natasha sees Gail as only useful to look after children!  Gail will do it because she was afraid that she would see no more of Sam once Nick departed for his "holiday".  Anyway Dirk is not working from home!  Talking of Gail let us celebrate that for a few seconds she has stopped scowling and complaining and when Natasha waves around a bottle of wine her response ("It's five o'clock somewhere") reminded me of a much younger Gail - the one that enjoyed life before getting mixed up with a serial murderer, a psychotic fraudster (who has just met a very hot end in Emmerdale), a conman and tangling with Eileen.  I don't think it will last.

Cathy has, like Leanne, gone into hiding - at Yasmeen's, unlike Leanne.  Brian has just been partaking of his dinner at Speed Dahl - meal for one please -  and Yasmeen is concerned that he will worry if he does not hear from Cathy.  Cathy refuses to let Brian in on the secret and he is unable to keep a secret and as she says he has a mouth like a clown's pocket, implying that everything that goes in comes out again!

Even I am still trying to work out how you would confuse Neil Armstrong and Lao Tzu but given that Faye is about to be a convicted felon I have been wondering for some weeks how Craig thought his relationship would be acceptable to the police force but does not seem to have occurred to either of them before Friday night - the lack of brain power between that pair is seriously worrying.

How long has R'Toyota been back on t'Street?  3 years?  4 years?  When she came back we understood she was a trained counsellor and we all thought she would sort of the Street's mental problems in weeks.  No longer a counsellor and working in Underworld she suddenly gets a gig in sorting out Ty and Fiz's marriage problems, in the Bistro with Bernie involved in the conversation.  Bernie reckons she is involved as Chesney's common law mother-in-law she is in some way related to Fiz!  Needless to say the counselling session did not go well and I bet Toyah was glad to get a phone call from the factory with some beads which need counting!  She must have a really high powered job there!

"Nina" made a great job of the wedding dress and I thought it should be recorded for posterity!  Wardrobe did an excellent job!

Physical distancing in evidence as Mary tells the story of a white fedora and a blind date.  I would love to think that someone, somewhere takes all of Mary's amazing stories (and there must be hundreds down the years), splices them all together and uploads them to the internet - I am not sure if they have all been written by Damon Alexis-Rochefort although I think he was responsible for tonight.  Mary needed the fedora for a rendition of Smooth Criminal at Mother's church in aid of disadvantaged children (for those unaware it is a Michael Jackson song from Bad).  She then wore the fedora for the blind date and her date made no comment on it until too much alcohol had been consumed!  He was married with kids and the fedora was ruined.

Indeed it seems Tracy has had exactly the same idea.  I just hope engineers are pulling the recordings now for "Mary the Mini-Series"!

And with that I shall bid you goodbye until next week!

Writers this week: Sam Holdsworth (Monday); John Kerr & David Isaac (Tuesday); Susan Oudot & Jan McVerry (Wednesday); Julie Jones & Damon Alexis-Rochefort (Friday)

Directors this week: Gill Wilkinson (Monday); Lee Trevor & Ian Barber (Tuesday); Ian Barber (Wednesday & Friday)

Kosmo

@Kosmo100

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Coronation Street Episode Review; Weds 7th April 7.30 & 8.30 pm

I’ll admit it. I feel sorry for Leanne being embroiled in all of this. For those of us with long Corrie memories, visions of Jez Quigley fuelling her cocaine addiction and blackmailing her into robbing The Rovers Return are still quite clear. You live but you don’t learn, I guess. She should now be mourning the tragic loss of her infant son, instead, she’s gone undercover for the police to hoodwink Harvey and to halt this county lines drug dealing. 

In tonight’s episodes, and with the drugs consignment ready at the flat, Ned tells Leanne that Harvey’s big deal is back on. She feigns covid symptoms to skive work and to help out with the shipment. Toyah tells Nick all about it. Meanwhile, Harvey decides to take Simon out for the drugs drop-off and continues to menace Leanne with vague threats and promises of repercussions should anything go wrong. Toyah chastises her sister for playing Imran, not knowing what is happening. Out on the drop-off, the police bust Simon and Harvey but Harvey escapes their clutches and goes on the run, knowing that Leanne is an informant. Simon warns Leanne that he is out to get her,  but it’s too late, Harvey is soon breaking down her flat door and suspects she’s a grass - he just can't prove it. 

Instead, he thinks Simon was the snitch, so Leanne confesses the truth. Harvey is then arrested and the police tell Leanne they will do everything to protect her. She begs them to release Simon from his cell and plans her immediate future. Meanwhile, Dev is called in for questioning by the police over the chip shop deliveries. Finding out about the drug bust, Toyah pays a visit and Leanne tells her sister the full story. Realising they are in real danger, Leanne and Simon plan a swift getaway,  until the expected trial. 

Tyrone has moved out of the family home, having told Fiz that he loves Alina now. Confiding in Chez, Fiz is forlorn, bereft, and vengeful. Meanwhile, Tyrone has decamped to Kevin’s at N0.13. He tells Alina that he’s split from Fiz and that he doesn’t love her anymore.  He then arranges to go on a walk with Alina. Later, Chez and Fiz spot them out on the street and Chesney has a go at Tyrone, telling him he’s being played for a fool. Later, Tyrone confesses his true feelings to Alina and she makes it clear that their relationship may not be possible. 

It’s Todd’s first day at Shuttleworth’s funeral parlour. He offers George a few business ideas but he soon realises his new boss is not interested. Eileen is quick to defend her son to George, and they have a little lovers tiff. Todd then realises that George has romantic designs on his Mum. 

Carla and Peter’s ‘project end game’ marriage plans seem to have perked them both up a bit. Peter’s binging podcast’s and Carla’s enjoying work at Underworld. Steve is still angry at his former pal though. At Underworld, Nick has a meeting with Lucas which Carla refuses to be available for, as it could risk Peter’s recovery. Sarah tells Carla it may be time for her to move on, and she agrees. At N0.1 Steve apologises to Peter who, off the phone from the hospital, relays his optimism about his latest treatment plan. The boys soon make friends again. Later, Peter sees Lucas leaving the factory following the meeting. Questioning Carla, she’s open with Peter and tells him she’s looking to step away from the factory. Peter is understanding and the two of them are more settled than ever. 

Elsewhere in tonight’s episodes, The Kabin’s recent vandalism and abandonment by the customers, is causing tension between Brian and Cathy.  Bernie defends Cathy against Tracey’s textbook poisonous barbs and offers her friend some advice. Gemma is quick to chastise Cathy too and struggles to understand why she trolled Tracey and Steve in the first place. It then transpires that Alex has been trolled too, for defending Cathy online.  Cathy is at a loss as to what to do next. 

@rybazoxo your cobbles connoisseur 

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Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 11 September 2020

Good evening.  Tonight the earth moved as we had a full hour which reset the Coronation Street timetable to align it with airing dates and from Monday we go back to six episodes a week!  So a lot to get through tonight.  Apparently parakeets are on the loose in Manchester and Shona has seen them outside her window.  Her scrambled brain decides that if parakeets can come to Weatherfield she can go to parakeet land.  David rushes to the cafe to invite her round for a barbecue and Nina invites herself along.  Later at the Platts Shona demonstrates her trampoline skills whilst David is again frustrated by Shona not being Shona - well he cannot remember her being keen on trampolines or bananas!  And just before the second adverts (which would have been the end of the episode) a sink hole has opened up in the Platt back garden (above) and Shona is missing - so the earth really has moved.

Sally comes to the cab office and they talk about Geoff and Yasmeen and Tim suddenly realises (above) that he has Elaine's address in the rubbish bin (how many weeks ago?) and heads off to find her - meeting Geoff who has been released having explained to the police that the recording was entirely misleading and a one off and anyway as his pc was stolen from his home the recording cannot be used.  Sally gets to run the switch whilst Tim is hunting his mother and provides an entertaining cameo talking to a narcoleptic councillor about her time as a mayor - she was acquitted of all charges - but it means that she also does a monologue this evening!!  Tim on his return says that the flat is empty and there is no sign of Elaine and there is a lot of post piled up behind the door.  And are Weatherfield police going to take any interest in a missing person?  Once Alya is updated she suggests that they get Imran to call her as a defence witness which will force the police to find her.

Nick, Steve and Leanne are off to Cornwall tomorrow for their long delayed holiday but Oliver's illness re-appears with a bad seizure which leads to them going to hospital.  It is not good as the medics have to apply so much sedation to Oliver that he has to go onto a ventilator and the news is not good - having been through the usual discussions it clear to me, having personally heard doctors talking that way over my daughter, then poor Oliver may not have that much longer.  Leanne is sure he will get better like last time and goes to sit with him.  Steve knows it is serious and the holiday is off.  The real reason for the hospital visit happens in the car park where Nick comes face to face with Natasha Blakeman (above).  She is a little surprised to see two exes together admitting they have a son - but they soon clear up that confusion, not admitting that Leanne is the mother!  Natasha - with her perfect skin - has been seeing a dermatologist.  And she has two hair salons of her own and is opening a third next year (the new Claudia).

Brian is writing a play for which Cathy is taking the female lead and it would appear that she is admitting an affair - with a Cyborg (above).  Dev was listening to her soliloquy - Kurt is a silent cyborg apparently.  He then offers her some extra shifts for Cathy at the Kebab shop but she declines.  Dev ends up doing the shift himself - but the deliveries get completely confused - he also has to do his own one man show talking to at least three telephones callers - as Aadi phones ratting out Asha who once again has Corey visiting and even heading to her bedroom with Aadi's yoghurt!  Dev is finding that teenagers are impossible to control and running the kebab shop by yourself is difficult!

Ray has "heard" about the sink hole and offers the Platts use of his 5 star hotel.  Given that he has been established as a perverted employer of racists (and I apologise but check his record) so pretty unpleasant to say the least his motivation for doing this seems unclear.  Until the "water board" engineer who inspected the sink hole and advised David that his house is "unsafe" and they should move out is seen taking a nice payout from Ray (above).  Ray owns the Bistro, Kev's garage and seems to have arranged a problem with the Platt residence as it becomes clear that the "engineer" was supposed to get the sink hole to open up overnight (anyone who can explain the mechanics of creating a sink hole please let me know on Twitter - I would like to visit a sink hole on a neighbour).  Shona is safe as she was eating a banana in the house and when they get to the hotel David tells Shona that he is fed up waiting for the old Shona to come back to him (she has already offered to share his bed tonight, even though they will have to be physically distanced) and so he wants to get to know the new Shona over dinner.

There is a complicated story which involves missing people.  Todd is missing but in reading things online about missing people Billy has convinced himself that Kel (Paul's abuser) has been found dead in the canal.  Sean tells Billy he to tell Paul this "fact".  No-one says anything interesting about Todd.  Billy has not actually checked on the identity of the possible security guard in the canal but wants to tell Paul until the latter says that he cannot face thinking about Kel.  This is soap opera knottage and high wattage.  Meaningless fluff and some real solid FACTS (like a body at the bottom of a sinkhole) might be preferable to mentally distressing discussions about people who may or (more probably) may not be dead and who will walk back onto the Street having been in a squat near the Red Rec.

And why was the radiant Natasha lying earlier?  Apparently her nine-year-old son has sprained but not broken something and he can go home according to the medic - an announcement which Nick lurking behind a mask overhears!  Now Natasha left the Street in fiery form 10 years ago having aborted Nick's baby and having stolen Fiz's baby scan to pretend otherwise until Gail snooped through the medical records and found proof of the abortion.  So there are now three possibilities:
a) Nick is the father and there was never an abortion - which is a massive retcon
b) Nick is not the father or
c) At some point post abortion Nick / Natasha shared a tender moment and the son is his.
I hope we are going to avoid the first two of these - anyone with a better memory than me able to comment on the third possibility please?  At the moment Natasha does not want to discuss her son's father (above).  And in hospital (where I have spent time recently) you keep that mask in place at all times!!

Monologues are the new normal obviously.  It is not clear if they are desperately filling space as a result of re-writes or if it is the impact on numbers on set or if they are simply fed up with everyone sitting half a mile apart! 

Written by Alasdair Morrison and directed by Steve Finn.

Kosmo
@Kosmo100

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All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 4 September

Evening Corrie fans, it’s Kelly here with your Friday night review.

We return to Alya threatening Geoff with a broken bottle. Her arm must be sore, she’s been holding that since Wednesday night. Tim talks her into putting the bottle down while his dad continues to act innocent, claiming he has no idea what would have set her off. When Ryan arrives to take the shaken Alya away, Tim starts to doubt Geoff’s version of events.

Back at the flat Alya cries to Ryan that Geoff is winning and he tells her some bad news of his own… Ali has got four months in jail. Remember Ali? It took me a few minutes I’ll admit. It’s a shame he’s ended up in jail when he started off so promisingly. Still, look on the bright side, maybe they’ll give him a sensible haircut while he’s in there. I for one am convinced that, like a reverse Samson, it all went wrong for him when he let his hair go straggly. I mean look at the state of it!

Meanwhile Daniel confesses to Adam that he’s been paying Nicky to listen to him talk about Bertie while wearing his dead wife’s clothes. When Adam looks understandably weirded out by this, Daniel says that they genuinely like each other’s company and are just friends. Adam checks the fridge quickly for severed heads before pointing out that Nicky is only doing this because she’s getting paid. On the Street he conveniently bumps into the woman herself. He tells her to drop the tart with the heart routine and leave Daniel alone to grieve. She tells him to make it worth her while. We see him reaching for his wallet, but did he actually pay her off? I can’t imagine this is the last we’ll see of Nicky.

In other news, David patiently explains to Shona why she can’t take her clothes off in public; Sean continues to worry about Todd, despite not mentioning him for three years and Cathy has a go at Dev because he’s cut her hours at the kebab shop and she needs the job. This was a storyline that confused me. Back when we first met Cathy, she owned her own house (albeit this was when she was a hoarder so it was stuffed to the rafters with old shopping baskets and broken lampshades). Also, don’t her and Brian own the Kabin? Give Dev at break love, you’re hardly on the poverty line.

Back at No. 4 Tim nice but dim is still puzzling over what happened with Alya. He lets slip to Sally about Geoff’s camera, but when she looks aghast he repeats his dad’s lies that he had it installed as a security measure, but Sally’s not fooled. She tells Tim it’s manipulative and creepy and that he can’t see what’s right in front of him. But Tim digs his heels in and tells her he won’t cut his dad out of his life. Not for her not for anybody.

And that’s all for this week. I feel like Sally Marple is very close to cracking this case. If you’d like to start a petition to make her Chief of Weatherfield police, let me know in the comments or on twitter @mskelstar.

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