Hello Corristas and welcome to Wedding Week! It officially started yesterday (and I'm actually more interested in the police finally finding the contents of Gail's manhole) but today is the day that Nick becomes Mr Connor the fourth. Or is it? We all know that Carla is as likely to marry little Nicky as I am to suddenly develop Alison King style cheekbones. Michelle and Kate might be dressed like Greek goddesses in their bridesmaids garb, but I suspect that it's going to be more of a Greek tragedy.
Like R Kelly, our Tracy is trapped in the closet by Johnny to stop her evil (and mercenary) deeds. Johnny wants everything to go smoothly for Carla on her big day although you wouldn't think that her latest wedding could be any worse than the last one when the groom slept with the bridesmaid at the reception. Worn down by Tracy's threats, demands, pleas and emotional blackmail ("I've only got one kidney!" "I'm a single mother!" "Amy's got nobody except for me!"), Johnny is about to let her out when Jenny, looking very pretty but kinda desperate for a plus one invitation, turns up in the factory to the dulcet soundtrack of The Fall, and offers to mind "the Rottweiler", so that Johnny can attend the wedding, but it's a bit late, as Roy, in loco parentis, has already walked Carla down the aisle.
Note to Corrie producers: you can't make Nick into a hunk by having him do a Jason and iron his shirt in his vest - I can't believe Gail wouldn't rip the iron off of him so she could do it for him, anyway. She offers Nick a tanning towel, which he fortunately turns down (although I think he might have borrowed some of Robert's Just For Men: he's looking as grey as his suit up top). Gail is looking forward to the incipient Platt-Connor dynasty - "A force to be reckoned with."
Also feeling the love is Marlowe-quoting Sean, and Cathy who seems to want to catch the bouquet, saying she'd marry Roy in a heartbeat. Or did she mean in Heartbeat? She'd look quite fetching in Mary Quant.
Suffering from wardrobe malfunction is Fiz whose one posh dress is ruined by Ty and his dodgy eye. The Tinkers try to disguise the mark with a scarf, but Tyrone promises to sort something out. I'm just thankful that Sinead hasn't made any special wedding candles.
Calamitous Carla finally meets nervous Nick at the altar and as the registrar talks about the importance of honesty, wisdom, the ability to listen and put things right, the importance of trust and respect, Ms Donovan-Connor-Gordon-Barlow-Connor knows that she can get married in a fancy frock but not in a lie and she stops the wedding to tell Nick the truth.
Until tomorrow!
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2 comments:
Locking Tracy in the closet made Johnny my FAVORITE CONNER EVAH!!!
Hey, Mr. Suits and Nice Car, we know you're a little bonkers but you're getting married. Shave! (it really bugs me when men don't do a little sprucing up) And who said your sister and niece should wear mother daughter dresses? Isn't Bethany about 12 years too old for that? Gail, Aud, you both look lovely.
I wondered where was David's wife Kylie?It didn't seem right that she's stuck at home with the kids while the rest of the family have a good time.
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