Remember when Toyah was a counsellor before she moved into sales (along with Michael, Todd, Alina, Sarah, Nick and Carla) at the factory? Maybe she could write a leaflet about dealing with grief based on Leanne's experience: Get Over Your Bereavement By Taking On Drug Dealers. Ms Battersby does a curly blow and dons something other than trackies and asks Imran for her job back. He agrees but won't give her an advance on her wages. She then approaches Nick who is his usual unpleasant self, assuming she got dolled up in order to get money out of him and then advises her to try "fur coat and no knickers next time". I've changed my mind: he deserved everything he got from Leanne during the Oliver illness storyline. He later apologies and gives her £1K - call it his share of the bills maybe.
She tracks down Harvey (presumably she discovered him on www.findmydrugdealer.com) to give him the money and tells him that's it, Simon is off the hook now, but Harvey disagrees. Maybe Leanne should take advice from Eileen, who saw off Gay Gangsa Mick, Sarah who bopped Callum over the head, Dr Ali who murdered drug dealer Ronan or Gary who got rid of Rotten Rick - the street's residents have quite a lot of form in deposing drug lords and gangsters and given that Leanne's the kind of gal to burn down her own restaurant for the insurance, I think she can see off Jambo from Hollyoaks. In the meantime though she's taken over the drug dealing from Simon, which I think is taking parenting a bit too far (she hasn't even got a bike, she'll have to take the cocaine by bus!) Leanne eventually 'fesses up to Nick, but says it's all sorted, not telling him that she now has a second unpaid career as a mule. If Harvey offers her an all expenses paid trip to Mexico, she should probably refuse.
Simon visits Kelly (who obviously took her hair straighteners in with her) at Kate Oates Memorial and asks her not to dob in him to the po-po. Kelly is discharged from hospital straight to the police station where duty solicitor Imran suggests she tell the cops who sold her the gear. Kelly refuses and then also refuses to go back to her foster parents. Fortunately, there's a foster parent standing right there!
In the meantime, Dev tells Asha not to see Kelly any more. I thought Asha hated her anyway due to the whole naked photos storyline? Anyway, Asha tells Daddy Dev she asked Kel to get the pills and Dev naturally goes ballistic.
Michael shows some very old fashioned views about gender, wanting to know whether to buy pink or blue baby-grows (and probably whether to get a Barbie or chemistry set. Let toys be toys, Michael!) Ronnie gets involved and says he will pay for a gender reveal party (to Ed's disgust). I suppose a cobbles fire is overdue. Anyway, Ed says he and Aggie will pay for the stupid import from America foetus party.
Sally helps Abby with the wedding plans, because men can't be allowed near wedding planning, apparently. Surprisingly, Abby does not have a scrapbook in which she's been putting wedding ideas for the last twenty years. She is more interested in eating cheezy poofs and leafing through magazines and she tells Sal that she thinks a wedding is a party; it's not about dresses and seating plans and favours. I'm with the Abster on this one. Sally goes bridesmaidzilla and Abby calms her down by offering her the role of celebrant - Jenny Reece must be throwing things at the TV. Also, I bet Tim is rubbing his, um, hands in the anticipation of another wedding.
Oh and there's some Fiz, Ty and Alina stuff but I hate this storyline so I'm pretending it's not happening.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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