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Thursday 29 May 2014

Coffee and croissants on the balcony of shame

So what do we all think of Corrie's special week so far? What are we calling it anyway? Murder Week? Tina Week? I'm calling it Balcony Week. I'm not sure what planet Rob is on if he thinks anyone in their right mind would take coffee and croissants out on that terrace of shame.

I guess though that Tina isn't exactly in her right mind. Gobby she may be, but she wasn't exactly putting the gob into gear the other evening. She had plenty of chances to shut up and ship out but on she went, gob, gob, gob until Rob finally snapped. To be honest I don't blame him. I'd already whacked her hard several times from my armchair and popped off to make a cup of tea. 

I think Corrie has done well this week. The Peter-Carla-Tina storyline has been dragging on longer than the when will Len Fairclough shave that tash off saga of 1970. It has taken us since CHRISTMAS to get to this denouement and all I came away with the other night was the complete and utter wonderment that old Tina could pick herself up without so much as a cobble imprint on her doll-like face. After all her cover story cheek bones had supposedly just smacked into Victoria Street faster than it takes Michelle to fold her arms and pout. 

I do think this storyline is giving Michelle Keegan the send off she deserves. She's done well during her time on Corrie and I hope she advances her career on the back of this. As much as I like Chris Gascoyne, I'm now heartily sick of Peter's snivelling, pathetic, hangdog look. If he ends up in The Big House with Jimbo McDonald, I hope Jim immediately bypasses "Catch yourself on" and goes straight for the jugular.

Carla, meanwhile, has been at the centre of so many dark, sinister, cadaver-strewn plots she'd make an excellent Valeria if they ever remake Carry On Screaming. I hope she escapes the cells this time as I love Alison King and hope she's around for a few more years. I'd love to see Carla ditch Peter and find some happiness for a change. I also can't help wishing the Powers That Be had let her keep her baby. Carla the Mother would have taken the character in an interesting new direction.

So I guess we must now come to Rob and Tracy. Tracy is coming out of this well at the moment. Old Arms-Folded behind the Rovers bar is making Tracy seem like the Denise Robertson of Weatherfield in comparison. Rob meanwhile is the expendable cast member here. As Corrie is still a moral programme *dangling by a thread here*, the truth must out eventually and Rob will be sent down - either to prison or plunging from the viaduct. I do hope we don't have to wait until next Christmas for this to happen.

What I'm really not looking forward to is Michelle finding out Steve knew about Peter's affair. We know she will and we know she's going to dump him, treating him like something she's stepped in (again). This is deeply regrettable. The moral high ground has never been so unappealing. For characters to be believable and likeable they need to have flaws. Unfortunately Michelle is always right so she has no flaws. Apart from the very obvious one, that is. She's a terrific pain in the ginnel. 

Personally, I'd like to pitch to ITV that the next big post-watershed Corrie week sees a mysterious Scottish blogger batter Michelle to death with a crate of Stallion Ale. 

Tweet me @GraemeN82

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Anonymous said...

Leanne and Kal-kill it before it spreads. They've got Simon stuck as a proverbial 5 year old even though he's almost 12. Leanne can't tell Nick about her and Kal because Simone was close to Tina. How much sense does that make? Simon will be a teenager next year and they've still got his cutting out stars and pasting them on get well cards that look like a kindergartner had done them!

Anonymous said...

...a mysterious Scottish blogger batter Michelle to death with a crate of Stallion Ale...and gets away with it.

Flo said...

So where is Michelle going when she dumps Steve? Last I remember, it's Steve and Liz who own the Rovers. Maybe she can be homeless and hang out with Maddie?

Anonymous said...

Here are my guesses as to how things will turn out for our friends on the cobbles:

-Michelle and Carla will move in together. Carla will hire Michelle to work at the factory once again.

-Michelle and Rob will let Peter take the fall both knowing that Rob is guilty of murder. Peter goes to jail.

-Owen and Anna will take a break but will reunite. First though I predict Anna and Tim may have a fling.

As for other cast members leaving...who else is underused that could go because we know they don't have a contract? Chesney? Izzy?

Beth said...

Ha ha ha - Love it Graeme. Your posts always amuse!

I also think like Anonymous 1.35 that Michelle will end up back at the factory with Carla... if so her life is one big merry-go-round of Steve/ Rovers/ factory/ Steve/ Rovers/ factory...... If this does happen I'm guessing that they have no idea what to do with her character anymore and she's long outstayed her welcome. It really is time to ship her off on a cruiser to meet Kieran to make the circle complete!

There are two sides to Michelle, the arm folding belittling side or the screeching put down, ungrateful, side. I can't stand her and have no idea what she brings to the show!

Anonymous said...

Tina landed on her back not face, looks like she rolled over to catch her breath as you would in real life.

Carry On Blogging! said...

Thanks Beth, and I couldn't agree more about Michelle

Carry On Blogging! said...

Anonymous, I'd really hope Tim and Anna do not have a fling, he's better with Sally.

Michelle going back to the factory would be tedious. All she does is ricochet back and forth like a pinball

Frosty the Snowman said...

Yes I agree very good episodes and I too am a fan of CG but am fed up with Peter now and his whining. If he had run off with Tina he wouldnt have stayed faithful to her for 5 minutes. But how come so many people were allowed in around Tina's bed in intensive care? Usually its only family and what the heck were Fizz and Tyrone doing there? Leaving Rooby and Hope YET AGAIN? I also dont think the police had enough evidence to arrest Carla either especially as she is a pregnant woman but then the soap police are always depicted as buffons.

Ba ba Black sheet said...

Kirks behaviour yesterday was frankly disgusting, walking about with coffees and making inappropriate moronic remarks while a young neighbour lies in intensive care. A total muppet.

Tvor said...

I don't see Peter as whining. Well, I do, but it's interesting to watch him pull all these excuses to avoid responsibility out. It's exactly what he always does to excuse his behaviour. He's always been a weak man and no worse so than when he's drinking.

I think Tina probably had her fall broken by those boobs in the push up bra. ;)))

Carry On Blogging! said...

Haha now that's something I couldn't possibly comment on!

Humpty Dumpty said...

This story is going to last months - the investigation, the trial, the re-trial, break-ups and make-ups. Steve and Michelle will split only to re-unite. When they do, I hope Steve lays down the law about their relationship. There will be no Rob and Tracy wedding due to Rob leaving in some way, prison or fleeing the Street. Simon's grief will bring Nick and Leanne back together. In true soap fashion, Peter may be behind bars for a while. Perhaps this is Ken's re-entry story - fighting to clear Peter's name. Grief, I hope there are some light-hearted stories along the way.

Anonymous said...

Anon 23:43 I completely agree with all of your comments. Simon is 12! My God they treat like he is a 5 year old. He is certainly old enough not to need a babysitter. I am sure there are afterschool programs/clubs he could participate in when his parents are at work. When my son was 12 my husband left early for work he got his breakfast and went to school on his own never a problem. Time the writers let Simon grow up!

Humpty Dumpty said...

Simon is 11 this July. This puts him in year 6, going to secondary school this September. In the real world, Simon would go to an after-school club but then he wouldn't be sitting in the café where some of the action is. I do agree, though, that he is portrayed much younger than his years; Faye's another example. Come to think of it, Sophie acts about 15 years old. Perhaps none of the writers know any kids.

NZ Coro Junkie said...

Let's see. Rob hangs around for months getting more and more deranged. Blackmails a young person who spotted the murder and felt responsible. He then gets rumbled on his wedding day to Tracey by a Tina friend, determined to see justice. But not before they're married. He then holds Tracey hostage and at the last minute surrenders without much fuss. Is taken away in a Paddy wagon, never to be seen on the cobbles again.

Genius and original huh?

Anonymous said...

Don't forget brandishes a disposable lighter as his weapon of choice during the hostage situation.


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