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Saturday 12 April 2014

Coronation Street weekly update - Brie, boobs and kebab sauce

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Phelan ramps up his campaign against Owen and Gary by bringing in a foreman called Clive to run things at The Mill.  Owen’s had enough of working for nothing, under Phelan’s beady eye and decides to burn the building site down. Anna catches him in the nick of time just as Owen’s got a lighter in his hand, petrol all over the floor and an evil glint in his eye.  Gary starts having panic attacks, breaks down in tears in Anna’s arms and now Anna’s had enough of Phelan’s antics too. She storms round to Phelan’s house determined to try to speak to Valerie again.  

But Valerie’s out, doing whatever it is that ladies who don’t need to work do, and Phelan invites Anna in for some lunch. He gives her a sandwich and a proposition – sleep with him and he’ll tear up the contract he’s made with Owen.  She feels she has no choice and spends two hours in a hotel room with the sleaziest man in soap.  Fortunately as this is pre-watershed TV we see no sub-duvet shenanigans, the camera cuts from Anna preparing to take her cardigan off pre-bonk to a post-bonk shot of her doing up her cardi buttons. Perhaps she didn’t take her cardi off. Let’s hope not.  But as this is soap, she probably did and I wonder if a baby Phelan pregnancy storyline might be on the cards?
Beth decides to spend her cash windfall on a boob job but Kirk’s not happy. “Are you really going to have an inauguration?” he asks her, while everyone else in the family thinks a breast augmentation is a bad idea too. 
Sophie leaves home with Maddie after Maddie’s social worker turns up and announces to Sally that Maddie’s got a place in a hostel.  Sally realises that Maddie’s been taking her for a fool by pretending to be homeless and tells her to leave, so Sophie goes with her.  The pair of them bounce around the hostel for a bit of an episode before taking to the streets to sleep rough in a cardboard box for another bit of an episode. For this fan, this storyline is too tiresome by half and I couldn’t care less, although not everyone on our sofa is in agreement with me. 
Tyrone gets a shock in the salon when he takes a phone call from the cops to tell him crazy Kirty’s been released from jail.  Well, it had to happen.  Tracy Barlow was locked up for 15 years for manslaughter and was out within months.  
In the back room of the Rovers, Andrea and Steve work together on their history coursework.  Andrea falls asleep on the sofa when Steve nips out for kebabs for them both. When he returns with the food, he leans over Andrea to wake her up, she cries out in her sleep: “Lloyd!”, pulls Steve close and he falls on top of her just as Michelle and Lloyd walk through the door.  It’s a tough situation for Steve and Andrea to talk themselves out of as Michelle and Lloyd can’t believe they’re seeing their partners lying on top of each other on the sofa, especially as Steve’s got kebab sauce all over his face. 

And that’s just about that for this week.

This week's writers were Chris Fewtrell, Martin Allen, Jayne Hollinson, Ellen Taylor, John Kerr.  Find out more about the Coronation Street writing team at

Glenda Young
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Anonymous said...

The Kebab sauce facial, much like the the Saddie farce, are clear indications of the need for a new writing team. Look at the happy grin on the face of Maddie, preferring to live in a cardboard box than to find some decent accomodation. Zero sympathy for either story line and the characters involved.

Anonymous said...

I don't get the writing of Sophie's character. How old is she supposed to be anyway? Kids run away from home. Let her and Maddie get an apartment together. Sophie is working and Maddie must get some sort of social welfare.

Anonymous said...

Given the dire financial straits most folk on the Street are in, the fact that Beth would even consider wasting 5 grand on fake boobs must be a sign of mental illness. How exactly is getting implants supposed to improve her image, as apparently she was being called a slapper/trash?

Zagg said...

Hey writers, here's the perfect Sloppie/Maddehhhh story line: They sleep in a box, a bin lorry picks them up and takes them far away and buries them in a landfill. No one notices and no one cares. End of story.


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