Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

This week in fantasy Corrie-land

I've been away from Corrie for a few weeks - almost a month, in fact. Firstly we went to Scotland, and then I've been busy, and although I've recorded episodes I haven't found time to watch them. So I've watched Monday night's and here's my fantasy about what's been going on:

1) Ryan and Tracy are indeed expecting a baby, only when it's born it's got 666 in its hairline, so Michelle has to sacrifice it on the steps of Weatherfield Town Hall, and Ryan and Tracy do indeed go to Glasgow and are never heard of or from again.

2) Tracy leaves behind Amy, though, because she's more badass than Little Simon, and will soon be sassing Steve all over, and we all know that'll lead to mass hilarity.

3) Norris and Mary go on a round-the-world cruise and are never heard from again. Ever.

4) Sally and Kevin (where ARE the Websters?) get back together, have a lovely wedding at the Town Hall (after Michelle's finished murdering), and then both disappear back into the kitchen while Sophie has beans for her tea.

5) Ken leaves with Wendy. Please god let Ken leave with Wendy. Or, even, we'll keep Wendy - but Ken can go.

6) Tina stops wearing her hair in that ridiculous beehive.

7) St. Ella just calms the hell down and stops trying to be everyone's agony aunt, and gets back together with Karl, and Sunita stops being a simpering wreck, and Eva starts being normal.

8) Gloria can stay though.

9) Kirsty. Kirsty can just. She REALLY freaks me out. The actress is brilliant, because Kirsty is so loathable. I cringe every time she's on. Please let her leave and then Fiz and Tyrone can get together and bring up Hope and Ruby together. Aww.

10) Finally, Lloyd's new family can stay, because they're both really good, and because he needs a family, god love him.

What happens in your Corrie fantasy?

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Anonymous said...

Odd, I can't really think of an episode where Stella has done the agony aunt thing in the past month. It's been more of the eye-rolling, is this woman really my mother routine, which, to be honest, I haven't minded.

I especially agree with No 1 on the list. I'd change No 4 so that the accident renders Sophie mute and/or means that she lives as an invalid in the upstairs of Sally's house being fed her beans via a tube and never to be seen again.

Anonymous said...

The faktry is blown to bits. Irrepairable. Done.

The Alahans are proven to actually be illegals who have been living under a false identity and are suddenly busted because Weatherfield came to the attention of Immigration since the Xin thing. Unfortunately, they are all deported. Yup, even their kids who were born here. Bye-bye.

Emily hooks up with Norris, much to Mary's distress. As a result, Mary decides she can't live on the Street anymore and drives off into the sunset.

Beth offers to be a surrogate for Izzy and Gary, for free because the idea turns Kirk on. Edging Tina out of the deal, Tina tries to take revenge but accidentally poisons Tommy in the process. As she's hauled off to prison, after a few tips from Tracy and Fiz, Kylie steps up to fill Tina's place behind the bar at the Rover's.

Lloyd buys Stella out and takes over the Rovers; Gloria is promptly replaced by Mandy. In protest, Eva vows to never step foot in the Rovers again, while Rita buys a celebratory round of drinks for the house!

Ryan gets Sophie hooked on drugs, to help her cope with her new disability. To fuel their habit, the pair connect with an underground adoption agency. Starting a day home under the guise of self-employment, they begin selling off the abundance of children on the Street, blaming a serial kidnapper. Tracy learns what they are up to and Ryan pays his drug dealer to shut her up, for good.

After the demise of the faktry, Sally takes over operation of the corner shop and employs Michelle at the counter. Hayley converts the kebab shop into a boutique where she sells material and also fashion creations by her former stitching colleagues; Julie is her right hand man. Carla buys the old butcher shop and turns it into a cheese and wine shop; Rob's her right hand man.

Marcus and Maria enter into a civil marriage and Marcus adopts Liam before Maria gets pregnant with the couple's first child. Jason takes up with Stella but ultimately cheats when Gail makes him an offer he can't refuse. Unable to take the combined whining of Sean and Paul, Eileen burns her own house to the ground with both men in side. She joins Tina in the big house. Kevin thinks Owen tried to pay Sophie to be a surrogate to Izzy and Gary and beats him to death with socket wrench from the garage. Kevin avoids prison by claiming temporary insanity.

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! ALL of these fantasies are great! I hope none of the writers from Corrie read this blog - or half those storylines WILL actually be on our TVs soon.

~JB in Canada

ChiaGwen said...

Shelly comes back to Weatherfield, gets together with Lloyd and they both run the Rovers with Jenna. Mandy leaves. Sophie decides to become a nun and leaves for the convent. Paul is run over by a fire engine, an Inquiry is set up but they find absolutely no one cares so it is cancelled. Dennis (not Tanner) actually didn't die but was secretly in a Witness Protection Program, comes back for Eileen and they live happily ever after. Sean's tiara slips over his eyes, he trips, falling into Aiden, they both tumble into the street, are run over and they are no more. Ken and Wendy decide to make a go of it the second time around, Ken, after having left Dreary's name off the house documents, kicks Dreary and Tracy out. Dev and Dreary fall in love and leave for India. Tracy manages to room with Emily but Emily doing her morning stretching exercises sticks a leg out just a little too far and Tracy tumbles down the stairs to her demise. On a brighter note Lewis returns, Penny is discovered to be a pathological liar, Lewis takes over the Bistro with Audrey and they live happily ever after.

Janice said...

Because of the rampant unprotected sex going, there is an AIDS epidemic in the street. Jason Grimshaw is the source, so every female he has slept with is wiped out. Then the men those females have slept with also die. Social services step in to take in the children. The oldies (expect Ken who does have AIDS) who survive finally ditch their wigs and live like normal human beings instead of comic extras.

Anonymous said...

How about SARS or H1N1 as the epidemic? Otherwise, critics will foolishly blame "the gays" on the Street for everything. Those who don't contract SARS or H1N1 can see Dr. Carter about the clap.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Carter is finally revealed..he's actually Charlie Stubbs brother and will seek revenge on Tracy by trying to drive her mad and commit her to the nearest asylum where she'll spend the rest of her days trying to prove that she's not out of her mind.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, there can be no happily ever after for anyone... this is a soap, after all. ;) Dennis (not Tanner) was awesome and it's too bad he can't make a comback, considering others they've allowed back on the cobbles.

Anonymous said...

These were ALL really funny! Finally, the humour is back on Corrie - even if it is only the Corrie Blog!


~JB in Canada


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