I've been away from Corrie for a few weeks - almost a month, in fact. Firstly we went to Scotland, and then I've been busy, and although I've recorded episodes I haven't found time to watch them. So I've watched Monday night's and here's my fantasy about what's been going on:
1) Ryan and Tracy are indeed expecting a baby, only when it's born it's got 666 in its hairline, so Michelle has to sacrifice it on the steps of Weatherfield Town Hall, and Ryan and Tracy do indeed go to Glasgow and are never heard of or from again.
2) Tracy leaves behind Amy, though, because she's more badass than Little Simon, and will soon be sassing Steve all over, and we all know that'll lead to mass hilarity.
3) Norris and Mary go on a round-the-world cruise and are never heard from again. Ever.
4) Sally and Kevin (where ARE the Websters?) get back together, have a lovely wedding at the Town Hall (after Michelle's finished murdering), and then both disappear back into the kitchen while Sophie has beans for her tea.
5) Ken leaves with Wendy. Please god let Ken leave with Wendy. Or, even, we'll keep Wendy - but Ken can go.
6) Tina stops wearing her hair in that ridiculous beehive.
7) St. Ella just calms the hell down and stops trying to be everyone's agony aunt, and gets back together with Karl, and Sunita stops being a simpering wreck, and Eva starts being normal.
8) Gloria can stay though.
9) Kirsty. Kirsty can just. She REALLY freaks me out. The actress is brilliant, because Kirsty is so loathable. I cringe every time she's on. Please let her leave and then Fiz and Tyrone can get together and bring up Hope and Ruby together. Aww.
10) Finally, Lloyd's new family can stay, because they're both really good, and because he needs a family, god love him.
What happens in your Corrie fantasy?
Follow the Coronation Street Blog on Twitter and Facebook
You might also like...
-
Wednesday 25th February BERNIE’S FORCED TO LAY HER CARDS ON THE TABLE Bernie hears someone at the door and Fearful it might be Mal, Bernie p...
-
TX: Monday 23rd February MALICIOUS MAL SPOOKS BERNIE Dev and Asha set off for a few days of dad and daughter time. As Roy sets off to the ba...
-
Friday 27th February BERNIE PROTESTS HER INNOCENCE Kit visits Bernie in her police cell who assures him of her innocence. Under interview, B...
-
Tuesday 24th February JODIE ADDS ANOTHER TRINKET TO HER COLLECTION From a distance, someone watches Jodie, clutching a locket identical to h...
-
Thursday 26th February MAL IS ATTACKED At the station, Lisa tells Kit about a bloke who was found lying in the street with a head injury. Ki...
-
ITV's This Morning had Michelle Collins and Phil Collinson on, er, this morning, to answer some of the stories that have appeared in th...
-
Here are the major storylines for the week ahead on Coronation Street, all wrapped up nicely in 50 words or less. Monday 2 March to Thursday...
-
Welcome to Friday night. Sam is not having a good time. His phone is locked in the Bistro safe and when he does get it back it needs charg...
-
Dev and Bernie are in a good place, so you know there's something gonna come along and ruin it and that something is Mal. Was the whol...
-
There are stories all over the tabloids today saying that Coronation Street's Faye Windass is to fall pregnant. Faye, you'll rec...
