Spring greetings and warm welcomes to this week’s update. The sun’s shining, the birds are singing and I’m having a good hair day. What more do we need? And so without any further ado, let's crack on with this week’s Coronation Street update.
Who are the Women of Wilmslow? It’s a tough question but one that needs to be asked because they’re getting their knickers in a twist. There’s a big order going out for the Women of Wilmslow and the man who comes to inspect the seams at Underworld isn’t best pleased. He sulks about the stitching and growls about the gussets. Tony tries to placate him and as the argy-bargy acts out on the factory floor things take a turn for the worse when Luke Strong announces that he’s the new factory boss. He’s only gone and bought Carla’s factory share and when Tony takes this up with Carla’s solicitor, she confirms that Carla did indeed want to sell and as quickly as she could. It’s too much for Tony and he drinks himself into a stupor before a sexy text message from Natasha sends him over the edge and into a panic attack in the flat. Hey, it happens. 
Meanwhile, the new factory boss buys the girls and Sean drinks in the pub and he tells them things won’t be any different, it’ll still be: “Routine, Familiarity…”, “… and chips?” asks the girls. Where would we all be without chips?
Luke rubs Tony up the wrong way when he gets his feet firmly under the Underworld office desk. So much so that Tony hires a private eye (am I dating myself by wanting to write ‘Inch High’ before those two words?) to dig dirt on Mister Strong. Tony consoles himself with a quick sub-duvet roll with Natasha the hairdresser. He woos her with his best Scots accent in a Sean Connery kind of way. Even the ITV continuity woman was wowed but I think Tony’s gruesome. 
Possibly Natasha felt that Tony gruesome more. But anyway, back to those Women of Wilmslow. If the order’s accepted maybe they’ll branch out and start sewing up pants for the Chaps of Chorlton or even the Slappers of Salford. Who knows?
Steve and Becky might not have got wed but they’re off on honeymoon to the Maldives this week. Now then, I work with someone who’s going to the Maldives and she has to have all kinds of jabs for this, that and t’other nasty disease. Steve and Becky had none. But I digress. Before they went off to the airport driven by Hayley in the Woody (which sounds like a dark Grimms fairytale) there was a wonderful food fight in a Chinese restaurant. Steve wanted to take Becky there for a quiet chat but as luck would have it they ended up sitting next to Lloyd and leg-over Liz who were lusting at each other with a bit of soft-shell crab. Becky and Liz started trading insults: “You dress like Barbie’s grandmother!” says Becky to Liz. That was a good one that, and Liz replied: “At least I don’t look like Dracula’s daughter!” The fight escalated and soft-shell 
crab was flung into Liz’s cleavage which, believe you me, was not a pretty sight. And as if that wasn’t a bad enough week for Liz, Lloyd leaves her for two weeks and heads to party-central in Ibiza but he promised Liz faithfully that he wasn’t packing his pulling shirt or his lucky pants.
But back to the Rovers where Poppy had a wonderful comic scene this week in which she snapped on yellow rubber gloves for no reason at all, except that it was really very funny indeed.Another one who left the cobbles this week was young David Platt who went to Liverpool to stay with dad Martin
when he found out that Gail had moved Joe back into the house. Audrey’s also dismayed to see Joe back in Gail’s life and came out with some sage words of advice, which is unusual for Audrey. “Forgive one set of lies,” she told her daughter, “and you’re inviting another.”
Speaking of Audrey, she’s not in Bill’s good books when she asks him to start repaying the seven and a half thousand pound loan that she gave him to set himself up in the builder’s yard. He clearly can’t afford to pay Audrey back but neither can he afford to get in her bad books. He mulls it over with Jason and a pint in the pub. “I’ll have to go now,” he tells Jase. “Sally’s cooking ravioli.” What? Sally can open a tin that’s not beans these days?
Tara’s art gallery opens for business and she’s in a right panic, it’s all she can think about, not even bothering to say congratulations to Amber who’s secured a place studying law at King’s College in that London. Tara’s running rings around Dev but he doesn’t seem to either notice or care, not now comedy uncle Umed is around. I can’t see the point to comedy uncle Umed; he’s sleazy and a bit rancid and actually, not that comedic at all. Anyway, at the art gallery opening, Darryl and Amber are in serving uniforms, the artist’s in a Che Guevara t-shirt, Dev’s in a cravat and Tara’s in debt right up to her neck.
Finally this week, Peter’s either back on the booze or whisky-soaked cornflakes are a Heston Blumenthal special that somehow passed me by. Deirdre tuts and looks rightly worried about little Simon while moaning to Eileen about Peter and Ken. “He read me a poem this morning,” Deirdre tells Eileen about her errant husband, “It was about scaffolding. I was trying to get a piccalilli stain out of the carpet at the time.” And that kind of dialogue, my friends, is why I love Coronation Street so much.Oh, and Maria now owns 75% of Lad Rags after Carla leaves her share of the business to Ms Connor in her biggest guilt trip yet.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Jonathan Harvey, Mark Burt, Debbie Oates, Chris Fewtrell, Simon Crowther.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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