Coronation Street Weekly Update, March 2 2009

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This week the update throws a green shoot through the sludge of winter and warms itself in the spring sunshine. It’s also just returned from spring jollies to the land where statues are dressed in clothes on a Saturday, is eccentric but fun and the beer always great. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Liz limbers up in a skin-tight, stretch-lino sort of a frock for the annual Licensed Victuallers Do. She’s dressed to impress as she wants to get one over on her nemesis from The Three Tuns – Mandy Bennett - and for those who remember her, she’s the Stella Rigby of her day. Let’s just hope we see Mandy in the Rovers one day, casting her beady eye across the bar and putting Liz in her place with a raised eyebrow and a tut. While Liz is out with the licensed ladies who lunch, she doesn’t want to, but has no choice to leave Becky in charge at the bar.

So Becky’s running the pub alone and oh, wouldn’t you just know it, that’s the very day that a bus load of heavy metal fans breaks down on the cobbles and the heavies all want pints and pies and loud music on the jukebox. Becky struggles to cope and ends up fighting on the Street with Kelly Crabtree just as Liz slithers back and she’s not best pleased.

She’s even less pleased when Steve tells her that he and Becky have not only named the day, they’ve gone and booked it aswell. Becky’s over the moon but there’s a problem, it’s Friday the 13th and she’s superstitious. She’s also supersonic when Michelle tells her that the engagement ring that Steve’s given her is the one that she picked out for herself. Rings get flung around the Rovers before Steve apologises and tells anyone who’ll listen that Becky’s the girl for him. Well, this week anyroad.

Now then, the last time Rita’s Rs was a source of amusement was back in 1973 (I said Rs, dear, Rs) but they featured heavily this week. Colin decides to decorate a window box for Rita and finds an old metal doings ready for compost and plants. It’s got the letter R on it twice so it could have been nicked from Roys Rolls or the Rovers Return but we’re led to believe that the Rs stand for Rita. Well, it might once have stood but at the age she is now, it’s forgivable to sag. Graeme puts his horticultural knowledge to the test and pots up the windowbox with Hyacinth (var. plasticus recyclii) for Rita’s delectation.

Norris isn’t happy, gives Graeme some stick and shakes the lad on his ladder as he’s up at Rita’s window. Graeme responds with some horticultural heckling to Norris who carries on shaking so much that the compost falls from Graeme’s hands and onto Norris’ neck. Norris is shaken and stirred so much that he can’t bring himself to look at Mary’s snaps from her cruise: “This is me on the top deck. This is me on the lower deck. Ooh, look, you can see the sea on this one…”

Eileen Grimshaw gets to smile this week when she has a drink with her old school mate Paula, who’s Julie Carp’s mum. Eileen hasn’t seen Paula since Paula left school aged 14, up the duff with a baby put there by Eileen’s dad. Except that Eileen doesn’t know that bit yet, but she’ll find out soon enough what a randy old fella her dad really is, was and probably always will be if Rita’s Rs is anything to go by. But hang on a minute, if Paula was pregnant when she was 14 then doesn’t that make Eileen’s dad a pervy, dirty old man and guilty as charged? It also makes Julie and Eileen half-sisters.

The Windass and Platt clan have their day in court and Tina testifies in tears. She also tells the truth and Gary Windass is cleared of assaulting David Platt. This has been a dull storyline but one that’s drawing to a close and all I could think while watching yet another Corrie court case unfold was how much I’d love to be a Corrie extra and sit on a Corrie jury.

And over at Underworld, Rosie needles Janice to get back to her stitching when she finds her reading a First Aid book. Rosie takes the mickey out of Janice who might be reading up on cardiac resuscitation but can’t pronounce it (I had trouble there spelling it) and the two almost come to blows until Mr Strong sorts them out. He’s kind, he’s loving, he is Mr Strong. And he sends Janice on a course to be the new first aider which sends Rosie’s stuck-up nose right out of joint.

Coronation Street writers this week were David Bowker, Lucy Gannon, Mark Wadlow, Jayne Hollinson and David Lane.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Glenda
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