Coronation Street Weekly Update, March 30 2009

Greetings and welcome to another weekly wotsit of wonder. This week the update comes whizzing through the airwaves at the speed of light wearing stripy pink socks. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

In the flat above the bookies, Peter drinks and falls, bumping his head and applying a plaster to the cut.
“Whaddaveyadunteryerself?” Audrey laughs at Peter in the Street. “Got drunk and fallen over?” Peter doesn’t deny it and word reaches Deirdre who puffs up her chest and storms round to count the number of empty booze bottles at Peter’s. “I’m calling Social Services!” she yells at Peter after she accuses him of being an alcoholic and fears for little Simon. Deirdre presses a button for Social Services on speed dial as a panicked Peter looks on. At t’other end of the line, a confused Blanche answers an even more confusing telephone call. But Deirdre’s ploy is not enough to shock Peter out of downing the booze and he falls asleep drunk with a cigarette in his hand while cheesy hits from the 70s and 80s plays on CD and provides the soundtrack to a fire in the bookies.

Peter’s cigarette burns a hole in the rug to The Only Ones’ Another Girl, Another Planet. The flames reach higher and higher to Brass in Pocket by The Pretenders and by the time Luke Strong and Tony Gordon break the door down and rescue Simon and Peter, it’s Vienna’s Ultravox. But the best bit, oh, the best bit by far was Luke Strong going back into the burning flat to rescue Leanne the rabbit. Sinnita’s So Macho should have been playing, but it wasn’t, perhaps because the CD player had melted in the heat. “You had to go back for the rabbit?” Tony asks Luke later at th’ospital. And when Luke Strong replies: “I always go back for the rabbit,” you know you can take him at his word.

And where’s Ken when all this is going on? He’s on the love boat with Martha. She’s very comely, is Martha, very welcoming in a mature lady sort of a way and you can see why Ken’s tempted. I wouldn’t mind popping round there myself for a spot of freshly made coffee, some mothering and a bit of her worldly advice. But when Ken returns to find Peter and Simon in th’ospital and the bookies up in flames, he has a lot to think on. Will it be Martha or marriage? Deirdre or chips?

It’s getting creepy between Tony and Maria when he gives her the glad-eye with his good eye. But while Tony and Maria grow close and confidential, Natasha’s the one that Tony’s taking to bed. She’s fair and easy game, throwing caution to the wind and her knickers in the air as she knocks the dust off Tony’s duvet. Maria, as you can tell, is not best pleased and more than a tad jealous. “You’ve been out all night in them clothes, again?” she tuts at Natasha. “No,” Tash replies, “I washed me tights out but my gusset’s still a bit damp.”

At Tara’s art gallery, Dev says ta-ra to a load of his dosh as he gets Minnie to pretend she’s an art buyer who spends £700 on Tara’s art prints. Dev has to spend the cash just to make Tara feel that the art gallery’s worthwhile and making a profit. When Tara finds out what Dev’s gone and done she packs up and leaves him but Dev’s not lost for long. He waves ta-ra to Tara and finds his accountant lady friend Lisa in the Rovers. After a swift drink he whisks her back to the flat to show her his etchings he’s just bought from Tara.

Kirk’s a bit upset this week. Well, Julie thought she was pregnant and then she found out she wasn’t so Kirk had his hopes raised and then dashed in the same episode. “I feel like my life’s changing every five minutes,” he moans in the Rovers. Poor Kirkeh. Poor Julie. Poor Babeh.

And finally, Sally hosts the dinner party from hell although she did wear a nice frock. She wanted to get Molly and Tyrone over for their tea so she could grill both on their intentions about their share in Kev’s garage. Molly wanted to get more involved in doing the books but Sally shook her head patronisingly and told Molly she looked after that sort of thing and there was nothing for Molly to worry about, or do. Sally is wonderful when she’s in full Hyacinth Bouquet flow. She even took something out of the freezer for tea. I never knew you could freeze tins of beans.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were John Kerr, Peter Whalley, Damon Rochefort, Julie Jones and Joe “I saved Leanne the rabbit” Turner.

Glenda
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