Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Sunday 10 October 2021

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Appreciate your assets.  As Sally's crusade against the parking situation continued, Tim spent much of the week grumbling about her determination and single-mindedness.  This is what you get when you marry Sally, Tim; she is a force of nature, and you should admire her from afar, like a tornado.  Don't get in her way or she'll chew you up.  She confessed that she was a little bored and looking for something to fill her life.  Go back into politics, Sal; Weatherfield needs you as its mayor.  Especially if you produce another incredible campaign video.   

Fergus certainly seems to appreciate Sally's brilliance and is firmly on board with her plans.  Do you think Cherylee Houston is ok with her real-life boyfriend getting a bigger part in the show than her?  Fergus was brought in as support for Izzy during her shielding storyline, and while she hasn't appeared since August, Fergus practically has his own tankard in the Rovers.  I'm imagining the scripts dropping through the letterbox and Toby Hadoke snaffling them from under her disappointed nose.

Welcome the twelfth man.  There was a time when Wethy County was simply a place for the men of the Street to disappear on a Saturday afternoon while the women did the important soap opera jobs of gossiping and sniping.  Not any more; now the football team is in the show almost as much as Roy's Rolls.  It was bad enough when it was just James playing there, running off to training with his rucksack in every other episode, but now Corey's there as well.  Suddenly we're getting press conferences and discussions about matches and if I wanted this sort of nonsense I'd watch Sky Sports.

It doesn't help that the writing staff are irritatingly vague about Wethy County's actual status.  Kevin mentioned the other day that they were in the cup against Shrewsbury, who are in League One, what old people like me still call the Third Division.  You'd think that would make them pretty low rent, but they're talked about like they're Premier League, with coaching teams and press officers and so on.  I liked them a lot more when they were vaguely discussed as a load of hopeless losers, rather than this sub-Manchester United team that everyone is fascinated by.  (And why are they playing league matches on a weekday afternoon?)

Pay attention at the back.  Mention of James means we have to talk about his racism storyline, not because it was interesting or anything, but because this blog has a duty to educate you as well as entertain.  This is SERIOUS ISSUE and it needs to be covered with dignity.  James had a lot to say about racism this week - a lot - but rather than give him some interesting dialogue or character moments, the writers simply copied and pasted Wikipedia pages into the script.  When he helpfully informed us that "25% of players in the Premier League are black" I half expected him to add "citation needed".  Even then, the programme fudged it, with white character Steve helpfully educating black characters Michael and James about the history of black players in English football.  Think about the optics of that for a moment, producers.

James did at least get an apology from the police force for being racially targeted, and then PC Racist came round and apologised to him in person and said he'd learned an important lesson.  Hurray!  Racism is cured!  Now make the Baileys into interesting characters who aren't simply educational tools.  Right now my heart sinks every time they appear onscreen as I know I'm about to get some sort of heavy-handed lesson.

Eat out to help out.  "Happy birthday darling!  As a special treat, I've booked us an expensive meal in that lovely bistro you like.  Let's go and enjoy a three course meal with wine and coffee.  Hang on... is that a curry van?  Never mind the slap up meal, let's stand in the street and pick at a jalfrezi with plastic forks.  Enjoy!"

The person I feel most sorry for is Naveed.  He's been loitering in the back of shot for months, vaguely wafting coriander around, and the only time he ever gets any dialogue he's immediately fired.  Hope you enjoyed your one and only pay packet as a cast member, mate.  Zeedan and Debbie seem to have resolved their battle, which is a shame, for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, I was hoping it would climax in a massive food fight in the middle of the Street.  Secondly, it means they now have room to introduce a storyline where the Dad out of The Kumars forces Zee to launder his dodgy money through Speed Daal.  I suppose it has been about eight minutes since we last had a plotline involving gangsters - we're due another one.

Let's take a moment to appreciate this truly astonishing ensemble from the Gazette's food critic.  Beret?  Pointy glasses?  Animal print?  All at once?  Amazing.

Get yourself an Aadi.  While Asha careens headlong into another no doubt disastrous relationship - she's got a crush on a girl in college who will probably turn out to be a Nazi or something - and Dev looks for someone who'll love him as much as he loves himself, let's take a moment to applaud Aadi.  He's been in a relationship with Summer for only a couple of months but in that time he's proved himself to be mature, level-headed and supportive.  Even when he found out she was a plagiariser, he caringly brought it up with her in a calm manner, rather than, say, calling her a big old cheat.  He's even willing to go on twilight litter picks with her and Billy and a load of over-enthusiastic Christians.  Truly, he is a saint.

Let's hope Summer appreciate him as much.  At the moment she's dividing her spare time up between Max and Daniel, and in soap land, the minute you put a young girl in a room with a man shenanigans ensue.  The question is, will she go for mature but dull Daniel (he actually makes his dad look vibrant and thrilling) or young but psychotic Max (before you say anything, he's only eighteen months younger than Aadi; maybe she has a thing for jailbait).  I hope neither, and she shares a tender, romantic relationship with Aadi, promising to remain true to him even though they're parted while she's at Oxford, then banging the first bloke she meets at Fresher's Fair.

If you know where I can get that beer that tastes of biscuits, please let me know on Twitter @merseytart.  Or rather, don't, because I drink too much beer already.

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Humpty Dumpty said...

I thought Zeedan was going to pull a fast one on Debbie by donating all the unused food to the Soup Kitchen. What wonderful advertising for Speed Dahl. Great food and caring staff. The Baileys are boring but also - and how is this even possible? - the four actors look stiff and awkward as if they don't really want to be there. Since they rarely interact with other characters for any length of time, the Baileys just drag each other down. There are several Corrie characters I don't care about eg: Billy the Vicar, Adam, Craig ... but they aren't members of the same family. Don't see how long the Baileys can last.

Sharon boothroyd said...

Great post Scott.
Another vote from me for getting rid of The Baileys. The only one connected with them who has any kind of spark is Grace.
There's a clear lead up to write Summer out, as (of course) she'll get into Oxford.
I don't think they know what to with several characters, really - some these include Simon, Amy, Mary, Jack, Craig, Gary, Kirk, Rita and Gail.
I hope it's Gail who's killed off in the forthcoming high drama stories - but it'll probably be Cory, Harvey or Rita's Sharon - not Gary's loan shark pal Sharon.
I'm getting fed- up of the gangster plots now - they seem to blend into one another!
I too, have wondered what's happened Izzy (and Fay) and I think Fergus is another Norris. If he teams up with Mary, Ken, Brian and Roy, they can play Scrabble go on steam train rides together! Fergus and Mary might make a good love match.

Philip said...

Is it ok for Toby Hadoke to get a bigger part in Corrie, as he was only brought on as support for Cherylee due to her sheilding. Now he's getting to film on the Street with other cast members while I surmise Cherylee is still shielding at home? What are the current directives about this? I wonder how Toby and Cherylee are managing?

Anonymous said...

Jeanie (anon): Where does Corrie find these actors with the fussy personae who seem to fit right in? Fergus is very much a new Derek! But I don't see him with Mary myself.

On the topic of isolating--it's hardly the actor's fault if he doesn't need to shield while the Izzy actress does.

Susan said...

Is this possibly a new love interest for James with the policeman coming to see him.
Yes I thought Zeedan was going to donate the food the soup kitchen. Or just open the restaurant to homeless on that night. Also I would be more likely go to Speed Daal for my curry than to the Bistro (thinking it would be more authentic, but not Debbies wouldn’t be) The producers seemed to have changed Yasmeens character. I can see Alya getting jealous of her brother as Yasmeen sees him as the golden child who conveniently turned up to save the restaurant and she’s been doing all the work. Didn’t Zeedan end up in Australia so I thought he was marrying someone from there.
I didn’t like the new Aadi but I’m starting to like him meanwhile I don’t know what to make of Asha not sure if she’s turning into a daddy’s girl. Aldi knows his dad prefers Asha over him but he does try so hard
Agree with the above comments especially Fergus becoming friends with Roy

Bobby Dazzler said...

What happened to the characters of Corrie? Does everyone go to the police station (now that we have one) or gets beaten up, contract a life threatening disease, and have to go to the new hospital. More scenes in the Rovers would be appreciated..who wants to sit the Bistro with Debbie throwing her two cents in?
Who would we like to say tarrah to? Yes, of course the Bailey family....why are grown men living with their parents? Ches and Gemma could head off to greener pastures as well.
What happened to the gossipy comedy of the factory? The goings on in Eileens?
Corrie has become a bore..

....and what about Emily...we've been waiting Corrie.....


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