Hello and welcome to another manic Monday on the street.
We start off in Sun Hill, I mean Weatherfield nick, as Gemma turns up to denounce David. She must be pretty convinced that David dunnit to go to the police, given her chequered record with them. Mind you, everyone's convinced David did it, even his own mum, who couldn't have murdered anyone: according to Beth, Gail only bored (three of) her husbands to death. Callum's mum is particularly convinced, turning up to give David a well aimed and well deserved slap. David tries to implicate first drug dealer Denton, then Mr Grimshaw, although at least he has the grace to dither and drink some water before naming and blaming Jason.
Despite the Weatherfield's police force well known propensity for imprisoning the wrong person, David is convinced that Jay-boy won't be sent down because of lack of evidence. What, then, is David's game plan? To distract the police whilst he thinks up a better suspect? (Tony?) Jason might be two spanners short of a full toolkit, but he knows that David is trying to fit him up and David whispering in corners with Sarah isn't going to help any.
The Platts have moved into Carla's flat, not that they have had much time to "degirlify" it, what with spending most of the two eps in the cop shop. They spend the rest of it debriefing in the pub, leaving the kids that they're so anxious to protect with Audrey, then Gail, then Bethany. Johnny, meanwhile, is anxious to get in touch with Carla so that he can run the payroll. Her password isn't merlot or m3rl0t£ or even Carla4Nicky4eva, but #blessed, which is something I've never ever heard either Carla or Michelle say. But the most important thing we learned tonight was that Audrey will never shout into a clown's mouth. Too right.
Meanwhile, Chesney has returned from Portugal and Sinead turns down £150 for two hours modelling work to hang out with him in a truly frightful neon-pink ruched blouse (Sinead; Chesney is in double denim). Chesney, however, is concerned about Gemma, who is very upset about Callum, talking about her erstwhile friend's thoughtful side, specifically the time he stole a guinea pig ("Ginger Ninja") from a client for her. Chesney accompanies her to Prima Doner, leaving Sinead to get drunk in the pub before throwing a pity party for two (invitees: Sinead and Aiden) at the factory. Like Chesney, Aiden is supportive of his employee's whiny woes, but unlike Gemma, Sinead misreads his sympathy and moves in for an unwanted snog. Given that Chesney's idea of an apology is a (free) kebab from his workplace, you can hardly blame the girl.
Someone who hasn't misread the situation is Cathy. If it were me, I'd have faked amnesia to get out of the failed proposal, but Cathy has more chops and at the Red Rec, Roy accepts her offer of marriage, telling her that Hayley told him that he must go paddling again. "It was a metaphor, of course." Let's hope that they will paddle on together.
Apologies in advance that I won't be around to do a review next Monday: I'll be sunning myself in Spain. See you in a fortnight.
The Little Book of Carla Connor
A Decade in the Life of a Soap Queen
An unofficial Coronation Street companion book
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