Hello fellow Corrie fans and welcome to another weekly wotsit of wonder wafting in from the cobbles to your door. I’m just back from a lovely trip abroad. It was the land of beer, frites, waffles and chocolate. Can you guess where it was? No, it wasn’t Tesco, dear. It was the Belgian coast and I highly recommend it. But I digress, and so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
The big story this week was Sally Webster’s 42nd birthday and the party from hell. With the select few gathered on her living room carpet (where were her proper mates Rita and Gail?) Sally keeps her guests fed and watered while Sophie and Rosie do their best to show mum up. Rosie’s in a basque and leggings. “She looks like a hooker!” says Ben when Sophie accuses him of eyeing up her sister. Rosie takes umbrage, she’s outraged and points to her clothes. “Er… one hundred pounds…” she says about her barely-there top, “One hundred pounds,” her spray-on leggings, “And ninety pounds,” her pointy pointy shoes. “All right then,” concedes Ben, “she looks like a high-class hooker!” But Sophie’s jealous of the way Rosie’s tempting Ben with her tight top and tips a glass of wine all over her sister’s head.
As 80s music provides the backdrop to Sally’s party, it’s to the tune of Love Will Tear Us Apart that Kevin lies to Sally that he’s going on a boy’s jolly to Bristol when he’s booked a hotel for him and Molly. It’s The Look of Love followed by Don’t You Want Me? and segueing into Red, Red, Wine as Kevin slopes off to Jack’s house to bonk Molly senseless on the sofa when she cries away from the party with a migraine and Kevin follows her home. But while he’s away, Kev’s phone rings and Sally answers it to find the Bristol hotel on the phone letting Mr Webster know that his room has been upgraded to include a jacuzzi. Kev lies again and says the hotel’s booked for Sally’s birthday surprise and off they both go, leaving Molly tearful and alone. When the Websters return, Kev tells Molly their affair is over, done and dusted, ended and gone. The nation breathed a sigh of relief then looked anxious again when Molly tells Kev it’s not over for her. Not even a surprise two-week holiday to Tenerifee with Tyrone can put a smile on Mol’s face.
Down the road, Graeme Proctor is a man of many jobs, a jack of all trades and a master of none, apart from firestarter, expert firestarter, BA Hons. This week he procures extra-strength painkillers for Joe McIntyre through his shady dealer contacts on the black market, he chops his way through more meat than he can shake his chopper at in Ashley’s butcher shop and he digs up Claire’s backyard to build her a piece of paradise in a Weatherfield back lane.
Across the Street, David lies on the sofa feeling sorry for himself after breaking up with Tina while Ted gives him a sandwich and some advice about love. Ted tells his grandson that no matter how old you get, love never gets any easier because hearts never harden, they can always break. To hear Ted speak about his lost love, James, the man whom he loved and lost when James died, was heartbreaking. Corrie plays a blinder with that character, methinks.
Meanwhile, Pam and Bill finally, finally go on that date they’ve been threatening for weeks. Bill places his lonely hearts ad: “I don’t like pina colada or getting caught in the rain. I am not into yoga and I have half a brain. I like making love at midnight up on the Red Rec, and I’m the man that you’re looking for, phone me up and escape.” Anyway, Pam replies via Molly who she gets to phone Bill to make a date, pretending that she’s a tall blonde businesswoman. Bill thinks he’s meeting this tall blonde businesswoman and prepares for his date but then cancels after Pam says she fancies meeting him in the Rovers for a pint. And so, all’s well that ends well when Bill and Pam finally, finally go on that date they’ve been threatening for weeks. I raised my pina colada to the telly and cheered.
Elsewhere, Fiz visits John Stape in prison so often this week she might as well move in, pay council tax and start measuring up for curtains. I thought they were allowed one visit per month? Fiz is there all the time and in return for her, you know, being the only person in the world to care about John Stape, he sends her his grandmother’s engagement ring and pronounces her his intended. Hayley’s not best pleased and refuses to be Fiz’s wedding witness and as for Chesney, Fiz hasn’t told him yet. It’s all so wrong and now it’s wrong with a ring. Stape wants Chesney to be his best man as Fiz gets engaged to the very worst.
And over at the Connor house, Mr and Mrs Connor, the parents of Liam (murdered by a Scotsman), Paul (killed in a hit and run with a prostitute in his car boot) and Michelle (ex Hear’Say singer) arrive from Ireland to take a look at their little grandbabby and Tony’s not best pleased. He’s anxious that Helen and Barry spend too much time with baby Liam and Maria when he wants them both for himself. To prepare Maria for the visit from her in-laws, Natasha gives her the once over with the hairdryer and some lippy which seems to do the trick, while Maria’s own parents haven’t been mentioned once.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Find out more about these Coronation Street Weekly Updates.
Coronation Street writers this week were John Kerr, Peter Whalley, Mark Wadlow, Jayne Hollinson and Mark Burt.
Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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