The Heartbreak Kid: Monday July 6, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Joe Turner, directed by Duncan Foster.

Tony is fixing up Maria's place to the sounds of "Boy Does Nothing", by Alesha Dixon on the radio. How ironic... Luke congratulates Tony on the birthing with a cigar and asks him how it felt. Tony said delivering the baby was magical, even a tug at the heart. Good thing he hasn't got one. Maria is scared to take the baby home, but arrives home to see her place all done-up courtesy of Tony. Maria has visitors over later, but Tony shoos them away. He's very protective. Or possessive and controlling. You decide.

Oh dear lord, Eddie's in a tank-top in the cab office. *shudder* Is it someone's specific job down at ITV to make him look as repulsive as possible? If there is, they're doing a bang-up job. So Anna and Eddie are NOT married after all. Apparently, she'll take his name and bear him a son, but she won't go through with the rest. Anna tells Eddie he's embarrassing her in the cab office. Oh please, when isn't he embarrassing? Eddie threatens to get her down the aisle one day. With a shotgun?

Sally decides to throw herself a birthday party for a "select" group. She is eager to invite Ben's mum and dad. Oh, they must be well-to-do then if Ms. Priss has decided she must impress them. And why is Sally planning her own birthday party? Kevin's a crap husband lately.

It would seem that Pam now dispenses advices with every sandwich sold. She should call her business "Dear Sarnie." She tells Tyrone the doghouse-dodger to cook Molly a meal to make up for being a disappointment the other night. Oh, bad advice. He should just take her out to dinner. When my man decides to be romantic and cook for me, it always ends in something inedible and me having to clean and entire kitchen from top to bottom from all the mess left. Real romantic. Women just love more cleaning. Connie and Jack are laughing at Tyrone tearing up while cutting onions. Onions get me every time! Sometimes I don't even eat them, just out of spite. Oh, ugh. Molly and Kevin sweet-talk over fantasising about each other in their heads. You know, when I was young, I used to wish I could read minds. What was I thinking??? The filth I'd have to endure! Poor Tyrone has burned his moussaka. Tyrone's efforts with Molly go up in smoke.

Meanwhile, Bill peruses the Lonely Hearts section of the paper and answers an ad. Elsewhere, Pam is seen checking her messages and it's Bill's message she hears. This plasters a smile on her face. Gee, didn't see that one coming.

Rosie scoffs at the old-lady knickers that Underworld produces and suggests to her partners that they need to develop a line of knickers for the younger women. That way if they get the younger women buying, eventually in time, they will be older women and still be buying items from the brand. Knicker brand for life kind of idea. This is a solid strategy. It works for the cigarette companies! I'm quite impressed with Rosie's ingenue on this one. She's turning out to be not just a pretty face. Well, baby-steps, I know.

Sean is working hard at the gym these days. Urm, I mean hardly working. He's hoping to soak his extra fat off in the Jacuzzi. Oh, Mr. Hot Stuff from the other day comes and joins him in the jacuzzi. A bit of small talk later and Sean is elated to find out that Mr. Hot Stuff is indeed gay and is newly single to boot! Then he goes and spoils it all by telling Hot Stuff that Jason and he are an item. Oh, how this will blow up in his face later. Oh Sean! Where's your life coach when you need her?

Joe's still poppin' pills. Graeme tells him that there's a stronger pain killer than what he's got out there. Joe is interested and later asks Graeme to get some of those pills for him. How pathetic. It amazes me how fast Joe McIntyre went from hero to zero.

Finally, David admits to Jason that he had Windass sent down just to get him out of the way so he could pursue Tina again. He says that Tina still loves him, she just hasn't realized it yet. Jason looks sick to his gut. Jason tells Tina this, and Tina freaks out calling David deranged. She's just realising this now? Is she new here? Tina confronts David and rubs it in that she's chosen Jason over him, and that she'll never ever be with him again. David loses it and runs over to the builders yard looking for Jason. He is up top the roof and sees Jason down below coming out of the van, so he starts chucking things at Jason. All and sundry watch David throttle items at Jason who is bracing himself behind the van. What a menace! David and Jason are restrained from fighting each other while Tina tells David that she's sorry, but she'll never be his girlfriend again. David runs off looking devastated as Gail calls after him. This scene just further ignites tension between Gail and Eileen. I love how it took two men to hold Jason back, but it only took one ailing octogenarian to hold David back. Ha ha.

David finally returns home to a worried Gail and Ted. He looks really devastated, just about to burst with a lump in his throat that's probably the size of his ego. Oh, I feel bad for him all the sudden. I'm such a sucker! He tries to put on a brave face for Gail, but as soon as she leaves the room, the floodgates open and David cries on his granddad's shoulder.