Coronation Street Episode Review Monday 10th August

 

 

I said last week that I liked the Gary the Gangsta storyline and everyone in the comments....disagreed. I agree that he's not a classic baddie like Richard Hillman or John Stape, but I like the fact he was already an established character, and not just brought in (like Phelan) to be this year's Big Bad. I also like that he is conflicted about his role as Bad Guy, wanting to do good but being drawn time and time again to the dark side to cover his tracks. Also, lest we forget, when the Windasses were first introduced, they were the "most feared family in Weatherfield". Ok, they were softened up pretty quickly, but they were nasty pieces of work. Gary returning to that is an interesting choice.

Anyway, Bernie, who is the weak link in all of this, tells Adam that the watch had "To Rick From Laura" inscribed on it (I still don't understand why Sarah bought the watch?) and it was found in Beacon Woods. Slimfast Craig brings Sarah's handbag from last week's ambulance, including the watch, which Adam finds. Surely he's worked it out by now!!? He's the finest legal brain in Weatherfield (apart from Imran).

 
Talking of Imran, he and Toyah are forging ahead with the fostering. They make time though to hear Alya's thoughts on Speed Daal and Geoff. She wants to keep her distance (not just 1 metre) and says she wants to sell her share of the restaurant. Doesn't she want to keep it in the family for when Yasmeen gets out? She visits her gran in hospital and Yasmeen says she feels safer in there, away from Geoff and she doesn't want a new trial. Alya fills in Sally and her Aunty in law (?) suggests that she should buy Geoff out and she will give her the money that Geoff stole from Speed Daal and gave to Tim for the wedding.

In the comedy storyline, Steve can't get a sausage in the cafe, as the suppliers haven't delivered and Nina offers him a veggie breakfast instead. "I'm not one of those trendy hipster types!" yells Steve. A veggie breakfast is only £2.95, Stevie-boy; if Roy's really was a hipster place, it'd be £10.95, mate! Steve visits (the newly en-bearded) Dev's to try to get an all day breaky sarnie, but they've sold out. Does no-one have cornflakes at home for breakfast? Steve goes full Piers Morgan, saying that the vegan conspiracy won't beat him and he buys some sausys from Dev's and takes them to the cafe to cook them. Does he not have a grill at home?

In the other comedy storyline, a half-naked Chesney walks in on Gemma's vlog recording. Corrie, please stop trying to make sexy Chesney happen, it's not going to happen. 

Oh and there was something about Kirk wearing his Buzzer the Bee costume for Gary's socially distanced stag do. In this heat!?

Rachel Stevenson - on twitter

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Coronation Street episode reviews, Thurs Aug 2 & Friday Aug 3

The uncomfortable Kirsty-Tyrone boyfriend-battering storyline took a leap forward when, in her latest assault, Kirsty brutally beat the saintly mechanic with a hoover tube attachment, leaving him covered with  nasty bruises over his arms and torso. The pair made up the next day with Tyrone, manipulated by anger-issue Kirsty into thinking he was to blame,  taking release from his hurt and anger by snapping at Eileen when she popped into the garage and forbidding Tommy from taking the holiday he's booked. The provoked mouse is starting to roar. Tina however spotted Tyrone's bruises after catching him without his top on at the house later. He asked for a private chat to explain and was forced to admit it was Kirsty who hit him though insisting  "it's not her fault, it's mine".  But  he made Kirsty  promise not to tell anyone, especially boyfriend  Tommy.

Wide boy Ryan was left off with a caution from the police for his cocaine possession and was offered a job by Steve - though Steve had an ulterior motive as he thought it might be a way of getting into his old flame, Ryan's mum Michelle's romantic good books. When Steve asked her out, she realised his sneaky game and blew him out - but the pair ended up as chums, with Michelle admitting she didn't trust  her son  and told Steve he had to wait for her to ask him out, not the other way round. Watch this space.

Sneaky Ryan meanwhile  lied to his mum that he'd got the cocaine off Kylie  - his lie was later exposed and he was forced to apologise. Michelle cut up his credit cards in order to stop him buying any more drugs and later said "I think I've got my boy back" - cue however to shot of Ryan in her absenceback at the house with a packet of cocaine.

Karl refused to sign over his share of the pub to Stella, while  Stella warned Sunita, who has finally got her claws into him, that "he isn't worth it."

Norris was getting fed up of Tracy and her daughter Amy sharing his cosy set up with Emily. Tracy offered to clean the house in lieu of rent - but Norris (probably rightly) was suspicious that she'd be snooping among his possessions and  put a padlock on his   bedroom door. Though as Emily  noted:" Why should Tracy be remotely interested in anything you've got your drawers." (ooh missus)

Norris's decision backfired when Tracy locked him in his room when he was asleep, and Norris was forced to call out for help from his window from Ryan who was passing in the street and demanded £20 for his time - which he promptly pocketed and scarpered, laughing. Boo! (I must say for a  supposed druggie Ryan looks extremely healthy and buff).

Roy's mother was upset when she found out that her American squeeze Milton was in hospital after having a nasty accident  by his swimming pool breaking his leg. Thoughtful Roy secretly bought her a ticket so she could visit him. He's a super son, really, Sylvia.

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Coronation Street double episode review, Friday April 6

 Coronation Street's prettiest pair Tina and Tommy, friends who have long had the hots for each other but not dared declare it, finally, quite touchingly, got it together after he told her "I love you" after she comforted him following his grandfather's death. 

Jason, never a man of many words or brain cells,  could only mumble "I dunno" in not exactly welcoming reaction when his mother Eileen asked him what he thought of her decision to move fireman Paul in permanently as her live in lover  now his  Alzheimer's suffering wife Lesley has been consigned to the care home. Bitchy Tracy summed up the situation rather more pithily, sneering at Paul at  "lining up a new girlfriend now your wife's  gone round the twist".

Sally made a surprise financial offer to Carla to become her partner in Underworld using her scratch card money.

Peter and Leanne's meeting with the mediation counsellor over custody of Simon ended unhappily, with neither side wanting to budge and Leanne wasting no time in pointing out how alcoholic Peter keeps going off the wagon.

Karl's lies over his secret gambling debts were exposed to a furious Stella after bailiffs turned up at the Rovers demanding the £3,200 he owed. Eva had to borrow money from the Bistro's till to allay matters and Stella threw Karl out, denouncing him as a pathetic lying scumbag.

Sunita, still conveniently home alone while Dev is  on holiday,  had offered to lend her new confidante Karl £300 but in the end he gave it back, admitting he would just spend the money on more gambling rather than towards his debts. He ended taking up Sunita's invitation to stay overnight on her sofa while she looked sympathetic and batted her eyelashes, promising she and Karl would get through the crisis "together".  I think we all know how this going to end..

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Coronation Street: 2011 Review of the Year

Reprinted with permission from fab TV Blog PauseLiveAction

Warning: This article contains SPOILERS
 

Here we are at the end of another year. The mince pies have been reduced to crumbs, the Christmas tree has turned from a symbol of festivity to a reminder of work to be done and we’re still recovering from the revelation that it wasn’t a good idea to let Aunty Brenda at the bottle of port.

But no matter how eventful our years have been, we can take comfort in the fact that we haven’t endured it on Coronation Street, whose residents have had a typically traumatic twelve months. With gambling addictions, rogue charity workers, cross dressers, hapless serial killers, car crashes, UFOs, infernos, fake weddings, heads stuck in railings, sledgehammer attacks, stolen fish, brutal rapes, miscarriages, robberies, jailings, on set births,  jiltings, affairs, babies left at photoshoots, lesbian love triangles, homelessness, alcoholism, dodgy car-lifts, clingy policewomen, brain tumours, salon wars, pet deaths, drug dealers locked in fridges, rejected proposals, tram crash memorials, sackings, meltdowns and Dev, it’s been a horrific time on Coronation Street.  But, as always the disasters have been lovingly interspersed with kitchen sink drama, unbeatable comedy, warm character driven moments and a real community feel. Here is a tongue in cheek reflection of 2011 on the cobbles.

We left 2010 with a bang as a rather large, screeching tram landed on the Street and failed, once again, to kill Rita. After an extremely melodramatic week of event television, the start of 2011 was destined to be low key and more reflective of true life…so we started the year with an attempted murder on the Barlow doorstep. As Coronation Street continued it’s unfaltering bid to better Eastenders (forgetting that it always has been better), a whodunit mystery unfolded among the shrill cries of Auld Lang Syne. Nobody was very surprised when Tracy Barlow was left in a pool of blood a mere week after her return, considering she was outdoing even herself in the pantomime villainy.

Claire Peacock, widow of minced butcher Ashley, was responsible for the frenzied attack (or light push as it later transpired) and, Tracy was determined that justice would be done. After the inevitable framing of Becky, the fuzz were all over Coronation Street like Peter Barlow is over an off licence. The community pulled the wool over the soap police (admittedly not a difficult thing to do as events later in the year will further prove) and Claire and her kids made a bid for freedom, leaving Evil Tracy snarling ‘Curses! Next time you’ll be mine!!’

So after the most normal couple in soap were given the most sensational exits possible courtesy of flying trains, attempted murders and criminal getaways (they should have moved to France!), what was in store for the remaining residents of Coronation Street? January continued quietly with another death, as Joy Fishwick suffered a heart attack after John Stape confessed to his life of crime. This was a story which reached the point of brilliance…and then just went that little bit too far in the end. I loved the wacky adventures of accidental killer John Stape, with particular highlights being the equally loopy Charlotte Hoyle and the introduction of abnormal headteacher Bryan, but there came a point where enjoyable black comedy became a little bit too silly.

Along came February and Peter Barlow was in the know about Leanne’s affair with the inexplicable woman magnet Nick Tilsley. Rather than calling off the wedding, however, Peter opted for a more traditional soap revenge…a public jilting at the altar. The audience delighted in watching Nick squirm as Peter wielded a crowbar at him in the destroyed Joinery, with the only downside being that he didn’t wield it hard enough.  But, infamous for his reckless changes of heart, it took Peter just a couple of days to have a change of heart and take Leanne back. It would only be a matter of months before he would have yet another change of heart…he changes his mind like Sophie Webster changes her sexuality.

Speaking of which, Sophie ended up where every person who’s downed a bottle of cheap cider ends up…atop a church roof. Having reached a stage where she was worried about Sian’s commitment to her, Sophie did the only sensible thing and fell from the church roof. It was a somewhat pointless plot development, added in I think because it had been several week since Corrie’s last ratings grabbing stunt.

Fiz was almost as occupied as her serial killer husband. After it all got a bit too much for John and he had a little breakdown (bless his heart, which is in the right place as we were constantly reminded), Fiz was left holding the still somewhat ill baby. And, as money troubles grew and Chesney’s market stall was surprisingly unable to hold up an entire family, Fiz resorted to sneakily accepting the inheritance of the deceased Joy. I can’t imagine how that could come back and bite her on the backside…
To polish off March, we had more drama as if a mental breakdown and a church dive weren’t enough. As Becky lost ‘Maxie’, she blamed Kylie and went round to Gailie’s to attack her sister. David got in the way and got a large punch to the chops…to which I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to cheer. And the sleazy guy from the Bill made a move on Maria, and didn’t want to take no for an answer. That Frank’s a bad un, you mark my words. The signs were there…pity that everyone on Corrie is too blind to see that a dangerous sex pest is in their midst, along with an extremely obvious serial killer and a worryingly eccentric corner shop owner.

April is where things started to slip a little bit. We had the year’s most uninspiring story as Graeme Proctor fell for Xin Someone as he prepared to marry her to let her stay in the country. Norris knew the score, but for  the first and last time in his life, he didn’t actually drop them in it. Mad Mary did however, and they were left some explaining to do. Graeme and Xin celebrated wriggling out of it by having an affair and breaking Tina’s heart. But Tina was the only one to really care…I certainly didn’t.
Sean went to London in an episode packed with pointless cameos from past characters. Despite a rushed and admittedly abysmal episode, it heralded the return of Marcus, who makes mopey Sean slightly less irritating.

And then Jim McDonald returned for a bit, robbed a bank and went back to jail. This was getting so  tiresome even to Liz  that she packed up her stuff and moved away for good. And who can really blame her? Jim is in and out of jail like Marc was in and out of Audrey’s dressing table.

As May dawned, the past started to catch up with John and he reacted in the only way that he knew how…by keeping people hostage. Fiz soon knew the score however and was so horrified that she ran out in front of a van. As she lay in hospital, John cunningly dressed up as a doctor and took baby Hope onto the hospital roof. Sophie Webster could have warned him that walking on to high roofs in an emotional state doesn’t tend to end well and sure enough, within minutes, he was sprawled in a heap on the ground below. Minutes later, however, he was up and about again and Terminator Stape had disappeared into the night. He’ll Be Back…

Not content with other residents stealing the limelight, Becky decided to smash through Deirdre’s house with a sledgehammer as she blamed Tracy for Max being taken back by social services. In a very passable impression of Jack Nicholson from the Shining, Becky’s rampage left a trail of destruction. But, with Ken being the repairman that he is, there was no trace of damage the next day so all’s well that ends well. This finally heralded the end of Becky and Steve once and for all, leaving Tracy primed to close in on the balding, chubby, gurning, clown like taxi firm owner. We can see why women resort to hammer attacks and miscarriage lies to snare him…

There was a late entry in the ‘Who can be at the centre of the most destruction?’ contest as Kevin’s legs were crushed by a car lift which Tyrone had tampered with. But this couldn’t compare with attic dwelling serial killers falling off of hospital roofs or intermittently psychotic wannabe mums smashing up living rooms and besides Kev had just won it big on the scratchcard so he was due some bad luck. He thought that flashing the cash might win Sally back but she was having designs on the boring Jeff.  You know, Jeff? The character that set our screens on fire as if he were Mad Maya (Yeah, I do poetry as well as reviews)
Summer dawned and June and July centred on the arrival of Stella Price, played by Michelle Collins who had played some bird from Eastenders (not that that casting got much press coverage) It became quickly clear that the new bar manager was holding a secret and she took a great interest in Leanne, even rescuing her from an armed robber at the bookies (and no, it wasn’t Jim McDonald) By July,

Stella had uttered the words that she was Leanne’s mum…making us imagine the fact that Cindy Beale had once slept with Les Battersby. Leanne wasn’t amused by this development and she wasn’t about to let Stella into her life. It only took a trip down the stairs and the loss of her baby to finally allow Leanne to let Stella through her defences. With all the excitement of Stella’s arrival, it could be easy to forget that she came with Karl and Eva…and to be honest it still is as they haven’t done a great deal since either.

Meanwhile, Fiz was off on her summer holidays, paid for by the taxpayer as she lounged in jail and got into scraps with drug dealers. It gave Fiz an excuse to whine and cry more than usual, which is just what we needed. Tyrone, Kirk, Tommy and Gary (aka the oafs of Weatherfield) fancied themselves as vigilantes in August and they kidnapped a relative of the drug dealer giving Fiz hassle. They cunningly locked him in a fridge in the butcher shop but luckily, the heroic Norris released him and was jailed for the night for his troubles. So that all worked out well then…

Carla was getting on very well with Frank but there was still a yearning for Peter, which meant only a half hearted acceptance of a marriage proposal (after rejecting him initially in front of everyone) Frank excitedly started planning for the wedding that Carla didn’t want and Peter continued to put off trying for another baby with Leanne.

Meanwhile, wife beating builder Chris started getting a pain in the head (other than Maria) and was told that he had a brain tumour. This caused him to throw over a table and move back in with drippy Cheryl, much to Lloyd’s dismay.
As the nights got darker in September, so did the storylines as a drunk Carla lost control of her car and ploughed into both Stella and the bookies. Admirable Frank decided to take the rap for Carla but he didn’t remain admirable for long. When Carla called off the wedding at the last minute, Frank snapped and subjected her to a brutal sexual attack. Alison King gave a superb performance as Carla attempted to come to terms with the horror. Frank was arrested but promptly bailed and even a violent attack from Peter didn’t wipe the smug confidence from his face. The evil businessman went on to take his half of the factory and send in his battleaxe mother to put pressure on Carla. It all became too much and Carla took an overdose but thankfully survived.

Stella came round and nearly losing her mum caused Leanne to open to her even more. But Leanne had other worries to contend with as Peter’s support for Carla became too much and she jumped to the conclusion that Peter was cheating on her. She was wrong…but not for long (there’s that poetry again)

Speaking of evil, Tracy returned from a welcome hiatus with the news that she was pregnant with Steve’s twins. Naturally this didn’t go down too well with Becky, particularly when Steve took the wise move of reuniting with the acclaimed liar and murderer. Tracy was jealous from the off, constantly wondering where Steve was popping out to and whether he still had feelings for Becky and she eyed up a blunt instrument on the side table each time he peed her off. Mind you, he could do with a blow to the head to knock some sense into him.

While all of this misery was underway, Anna had reason to smile as she embarked on a relationship with Owen. But he soon became more concerned with digging a fish pond and cutting off salon electricity.

In October, the John Stape drama FINALLY reached some sort of conclusion, but not before a final kidnap. His first abduction of Rosie had gone so well that he decided to do it again and he talked her through the witness statement she was going to say at Fiz’s trial to get her off the hook. But, disaster soon struck as he transported Rosie and lost control of the car. John was rushed to hospital where,        with moments to live, he said goodbye to Fiz and Hope, and confessed to his crimes (the abridged version of course…he’d have needed a week to live to explain the whole thing)

With Fiz home and a baby on the way, things were looking up for Chesney, despite his growing debt. But he was soon forced to say goodbye to his best friend. Not Kirk, but the more intelligent one, Schmeichal. Schmeichal was getting on in years and Chesney struggled to accept that he was heading to mutt heaven where he would enjoy Pedigree Chum in abundance and as many tails to chase as he could ever wish for.

In other November news, Ciaran returned, gambled away some money and left again. ‘Nuff said on that one really.

And finally we come to December, where the inevitable happened and Peter Barlow remembered the fun of his bigamy days and embarked on a secret affair with Carla, who really should have more pride. As his alcoholism teased him again and Carla continued to suffer in the aftermath of her rape, the couple sought comfort in eachother but what started off as an almost understanding buckle into temptation soon became a sneaky and seedy affair. It won’t be long before it comes undone; sleuth-like Stella is already suspicious that Peter has given a necklace to the wrong woman and palmed Leanne off with a mere Sony Ericsson.

Tracy was up to her old tricks as Becky and Steve grew close again. Facing the fact that Steve doesn’t truly love her (because of the fact that she’s not really a loveable person), Tracy chased them to a hotel, the stress of which caused her to miscarry the twins. And only Tracy Barlow can use her own miscarriage as a weapon against someone else. After falling down the stairs in Becky’s flat, Tracy spread the rumour that Becky had pushed her and caused the miscarriage. This led Becky into a pit of despair, to a point where her house caught fire and she almost died, but fireman/bistro owner Nick leapt through the flames to the rescue. The brush with death got Becky’s fighting spirit up again…and she vowed not to let Tracy get away with her deceit.
There was also the traditional Christmas birth as Katy went into labour whilst playing the virgin Mary. She took the role so seriously that she even popped out a real baby, while Chesney (dressed as an elf naturally) looked on proudly.
And also the less than traditional lesbian wedding took place, without a great deal of success. Isn’t it annoying when Sally is right? Apparantely Sophie and Sian aren’t mature enough to last and Sian took a one way ticket out of Weatherfield and Sophie’s life. And an obsessive internet fanbase comprised of romantic girls and thrilled old men were reduced to inconsolable tears. Never mind guys. It’s not real…*sniff*

But that’s not all that’s been going on in our favourite fictional Street (besides Quality that is) over the year. We’ve had hot headed Gary going a bit clingy on Izzy to the point where he almost did a John Stape and kept her prisoner. Eileen has also had a turbulent year. She started it off by trying to filter money out of Owen and ended it as the third wheel in the marriage of Paul and his Alzheimers suffering wife Lesley. Ken’s grandson turned up again but turned out to be a bit of a bad egg. After stealing money from a charity soup kitchen, he gave Ken a bump on the noggin and fled.

Roy Cropper’s acid tongued mother, Sylvia, turned up and straight away rubbed locals up the wrong way by charging them to use the toilet, upping the prices of a bacon and sausage bap and by trying to replace the irreplaceable Blanche Hunt. Julie found romance with Bryan and the pair have enjoyed drunken restaurant rows, passion under the stars and a plastic UFO attack courtesy of Tommy Duckworth. There was romance in the air for Tyrone too but there seems to be something a bit amiss with that Kirsty. Whether it’s the fact that she seems to appear every time Tyrone so much as blinks at another female or the fact that she waged a one woman vendetta against Rita’s car, she doesn’t seem like she will provide Tyrone with the happy ever after that he deserves. She was even threatened by Tina walking round in a towel…we can’t think why, no man could ever be tempted by that, surely. We lost the loudmouth Janice as she set off for a new life with former bin emptying bloke Trev whilst we gained the charming Dennis Tanner, who last appeared as Rita’s flame from the 60s. It looks like the sparks of that flame are starting to fly again…

What a year it’s been! But what might 2012 have in store for our favourite locals? Here are my predicitions for the year ahead…
I predict…
-That a revelation at a trial will lead to heartbreak for Leanne…
-That a car accident will leave Tina fearing for Tyrone’s future more than ever…
-That Sally’s new romance will see her playing with fire…
-That Eileen’s involvement with Paul will step up a gear when she offers to be Lesley’s carer…
-That Audrey will receive a blast from the past…
-That a wedding will be torn apart by the truth behind a web of lies…
-That a local will be murdered in cold blood…and there will be no shortage of culprits…
-That Owen’s temper could land him in hot water after an altercation with young Faye…
-That one long suffering lady might finally find happiness…but it will lead her away from the Street for good…
-That the Rovers will have a new name above the door…
I’ve never been wrong before, have I!?

Let me take the opportunity to wish you all a brilliant New Year and I hope that 2012 will bring you plenty of happiness. I doubt it will for the hard done by residents of Coronation Street…

 Posted By Our Man In The North at Pause Live Action.  Follow PauseLiveAction on twitter.

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Firework: Fri Aug 5, 2011 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Joe Turner

Directed by Graeme Harper

RECAP

Gail and David are both shocked and upset to see that Becky spent the night with “Golden Boy” Nick.  Nick doesn’t care what they think, and neither does Becky.  Kylie does care and is shocked to see her as well.  Becky tells Kylie that she doesn’t stand a chance getting Max and a fight ensues.  Because breakfast at the Platt’s couldn’t be any other way.  Later, Becky uses Nick to make Steve jealous and snogs Nick in the cafe right in front of an obviously jealous Steve.  Steve invents a new girlfriend on the spot and says he’ll bring her by the Bistro later.  Oh, Steve.  He later calls the roster in his old black book to try and find someone to go on a date with him.  Steve finally gets someone to say yes – someone that he hasn’t heard from in ten years – someone named Beth, “Gorgeous Beth.” Steve waits for Gorgeous Beth to show up with Becky waiting as well.  Gorgeous Beth shows up looking more like Cilla’s long-lost-sister.  Needless to say the old moniker of “Gorgeous” has long been retired.  Beth quickly points out that Steve’s gained a few pounds and lost some hair.  Beth has brought someone along on the date – Craig, her son.  Craig, who also happens to look like Cilla’s son – only in a fun house mirror.  A fight quickly ensues between Becky, Steve and Beth with Craig and Nicky front row.  Nick tells them to leave the Bistro, and Steve refuses until Nick offers to foot the bill for their drinks.  Steve quickly sends Beth and Craig on their way as Becky gloats to Nick about how great it was to humiliate Steve.  Nick reprimands her for being unprofessional, and Becky apologizes and says she won’t do it again.  Pfffft. 

Just moments later, she tries to wind David up.  She tries to convince David that she and Nick are together for keeps.  David brings her down to earth by telling her that Kylie’s just been granted supervised access with Max.  Social Services thinks that Max would be better off with his mum and her new husband.  Meanwhile, Nick wonders if he’s just a way to get back at Steve and he really likes Becky, a lot.  Later, Becky tells Nick about how Kylie and David are getting Max back and Nick wonders why she didn’t tell him sooner.  Becky says she needs to get her divorce done and things will be better.  Nick asks Becky what she wants from him, and she says she wants him as her boyfriend.  Nick says he’s not sure that he and her are such a good idea. Nick tells her she’s on the rebound and he’s just a casualty.  Becky takes this easier than you’d think – at least on the outside, and even tells Nick that she can’t work there anymore. 

Audrey wants David to go on a management course so that she can take time off the salon and feel confident about taking time off.  David insists he doesn’t need a course and just needs her to take a chance on him.  Audrey later tells David that she’s taking time off and is trusting David and Kylie to manage the place on a trial basis. 

Strange things are still happening with Chris.  Chris wants to take Russ to the Red Rec and be “spontaneous.”  Owen gives Chris a piece of his mind about skipping off work to play football in the Red Rec with his son and threatens his job if he continues to be MIA.  Later, Maria asks Chris if he can pick up Liam for her from nursery and he says that he will even take him for tea.  Meanwhile, Dr. Carter sees Chris and warns him about not ignoring something.  What could it be? Looks like Chris has forgotten to pick up Liam and when Maria confronts him about it later, he’s completely forgotten.  Maria has no idea what is going on with Chris, and clearly, neither does he. 

Owen and Anna continue to shamelessly flirt with each other.

Gary continues to smother Izzy as she’s out-and-about around the street.  Izzy avoids him and he feels crushed, and still a little obsessed.  Gary apologizes to Izzy and tells her that he’s getting help.  She tells him that he freaks her out. 

Tommy is dangerously playing his hand at juggling two local ladies, Amber and Tina, – one of which wants him, one of which is completely indifferent.  As we all know, it never works out well for a man who tries to take more than his fair share and now we sit back and wait for something to hit the fan.  Tommy double-books himself with both ladies thinking he can overlap their affections.  Tommy’s already in trouble when he realizes that his “quick drink” with Amber won’t be very quick after all, and will leave a lonely Tina waiting for him.  As Tommy gets hasty with time, Amber gets suspicious.  Tommy makes up some story about Tyrone being in hospital to get out of the date with Amber.  Of course, Amber sees Tyrone later and he’s clearly never been in hospital.  Tyrone breaks down and tells Amber that Tommy’s at home, for which she demands Tyrone’s keys.  While Tommy’s done eating Tina’s romantic dinner and they’re spooning each other dessert, Amber breaks in and realizes what’s happening.  

HIGHLIGHTS

- Gail singing Katy Perry’s “Firework” in her kitchen in the morning.  What is she putting in her tea?

- Chris: “I have priorities.”  Owen: “Yes, number one: me.”

- Some may not agree, but I actually like the pairing of Becky and Nicky.  They’re kind of that “only people left at the bar at closing” kind of couple that are basically made for each other.  Nick was always into that kind of blonde-down-on-her-luck-but-tries-to-overcome kind of girl (Leanne, anyone?).  And Becky always likes a sucker.

- Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child of Mine” playing in the background when Tommy and Tyrone work on cars. 

- David about Becky: “Just keep her away from sledgehammers.” Gail: “I wouldn’t put it past her to be using Nick to cause trouble between you and Kylie.” David: “Well, in that case, keep me away from sledgehammers.”

- Tommy having to eat two steak platters after his “double booking.”

- Poor Steve’s embarrassed face when “Gorgeous” Beth shows up.  I don’t know about anyone else but I loved Crazy Beth and Creepy Craig. 

- Kylie to David: “Me and you are going to have some great adventures.” David: “Do you ever think about dying?” *chokes on drink*

- Tina to Tommy when finding out about his infidelities: “I bought you a tiramisu.”

LOWLIGHTS

- Have we all forgotten that Chris was a wife beater? Namely, has his wife forgotten?

- Poor Tyrone, being kicked out of his house for Tommy’s womanizing adventures.

- What on earth happened to Eddie Windass?  I know he’s gone off the show and all, but there was no real mention of he and Anna actually breaking it off before this business with Owen just came swooping in.  Convenient thing Anna and Eddie were never really married then. 

- Becky to Nick: “You don’t regret last night, do ya?”  Do you think she EVER gets tired of saying that?

- Why is everyone SO mean to Becky regarding Max?  She cared for that kid when no one else did, what’s the big deal?

Relentless Intrusion: Mon June 20, 2011 Corrie Episode Review

7:30

Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by John Anderson

Sylvia thinks that Roy and Hayley need to kick out Becky and that they’re “parenting skills” with her are terrible.  She hopes they do a better job with her real grandchildren as Hayley and Roy give each other strange looks.  Later, Sylvia grills Roy on why they never had children.  He lies and says they never wanted any.  Sylvia doesn’t buy this and assumes there must be some kind of impediment.  Roy says the only impediment is him trying to prepare breakfast in the face of her relentless intrusion.  Sylvia snoops around about Roy and Hayley’s childless situation and goes straight to the source: Norris.  Norris is kept mum by Rita, but he does divulge that the Croppers did try to adopt.  Sylvia figures she’s missing something now since Roy said they didn’t want children.  Sylvia thinks that Roy must be firing blanks.  At the cafe, Sylvia tells the Croppers she’s been rummaging around and has found Hayley’s prescription for hormone pills.  Sylvia assumes that Hayley is using them to help her through menopause, but at first the Croppers think she knows about the sex change and is taking it surprisingly well.  The Croppers later try to figure out how to tell Sylvia the truth.  Hayley decides that they’ll tell Sylvia after tea that evening. Later, Sylvie returns with an Aloe Vera plant for Hayley thinking it’ll help her skin during menopause.  Tracy overhears this as she walks into the cafe, and of course lets the cat out of the bag that Hayley is not going through menopause, rather she is a transsexual. 

Over at the Rover’s, Steve’s dealing with the invasion of Stella and her family.  He looks as though he really hates his life and wishes things were how they “used to be” whatever that is.  Stella gets on Karl about finding a job.  Karl finds Lloyd in the cafe and says he just talked to Fat Brenda and she said they’re looking for more drivers, so he asks Lloyd for a job.  It looks like if his references check out, he’s good to go.  Karl finds Becky behind the counter at the cafe and assumes she works there.  He tells her that he’s got a job with street cars, and Becky immediately pounces on him in her tarty way but Karl makes a getaway.  Becky sees Steve on her way to the shops and she gives him a bitter reception.  Get rid, Steve! 

At the Rover’s later, Tracy comes into the pub and tries to “warn” Stella about how rowdy the Rovers can be and how Steve is a very “hands on” employer.  Puh-lease, as if  that’d turn her off anyway if she even believed it!  Stella quickly brushes her off and Steve is impressed.  Then, Becky walks in.  Becky sizes Stella up, but Stella tells Becky she’s boxed up her things, and she doesn’t want any trouble.  After a momentary stare-down Becky quietly orders a pint.  Steve is really impressed now as Becky bottles it.  But not for long.  Becky is drunk as a skunk and attempts to throw herself at Karl again.  That is, until Stella catches her taking a chunk of his behind in her bejewelled ale-scented hand, among other things.  Becky calls Stella a sour-faced old bag and Stella tells her to leave.  Becky treats Stella like crap until Steve walks in and asks what the hell is going on. 

Little Dylan is still not eating since he misses his mum too much.  Later, Marcus was supposed to go back to work and drop Dylan off with Maria only he thought Dylan was looking a bit under the weather so he took him to the medical clinic instead.  Since he had to take the afternoon off to take him to the clinic, he decided to just cancel his whole shift and take Dylan to the pictures instead.  Maria sees Sean later and tells him that Dylan is with Marcus and how he had taken him to the clinic.  Sean freaks out and says he should have been there to comfort Dylan and Marcus had no right keeping it from him. 

Peter stomps out a fag to throw the football around with son Simon, only until it accidentally hits Carla who happens to be walking by.  You’d have never thought that Peter was disabled and almost killed but 6 months ago.  Carla flirts with Peter before giving him the ball back.  Leanne and Peter come into the pub later, and Stella apologizes for keeping them waiting and gives them drinks on the house.  Leanne asks if she’s sure since she didn’t keep them waiting that long – but Stella responds that it’s been far too long.  Peter tells Leanne about Carla’s run-in with Simon’s football. 

Meanwhile, it seems like Carla has been flirting with Frank who has been busy bringing in good potential clients. 

8:30

Written by Simon Crowther, directed by John Anderson

Becky is being kicked out of the pub, but she claims it’s her since she’s married to Steve.  Becky accuses Karl of being all over her this morning, but Karl disputes it.  Becky  blubbers in the back room to Steve about how he used to be loyal before they were married, but now that they are, he’s not.  Becky’s still very hurt about Becky’s “son” being taken from her.  Eva walks in and Becky assumes that she’s been sharing Steve’s bed until Eva quickly corrects her.  Becky lies to Steve that she slept with someone else last week and Steve shouts at Becky to get out.  Later, Stella tries to convince Steve to work things out with his wife and tells Karl that she’s still cool on him. 

Roy tries to put out the fire burning in his mother’s gut after she found out that Hayley used to be Harold.  He tells her that everyone accepts Hayley as she is, but Sylvia is silent.  When Hayley returns from Freshco’s, Sylvia leaves the room and Hayley wonders what it’s about.  Hayley wants to talk to Sylvia but Roy advises against it.  Hayley has more problems to deal with as Becky returns to her cafe sanctuary.  The Croppers try to tell her to make up with Steve as well.  Becky notices something is wrong, and the Croppers tell her.  Sylvia comes down and Hayley tells her to sit down – they need to talk.  Hayley tries to talk to Sylvia about her situation but Sylvia is not taking it well and cannot wrap her head around it.  Roy figures that this is all about her history of constantly being ashamed of him.  Sylvia says that she was never ashamed of him, just disappointed in him.  Wait, isn’t that sort of the same thing?!  Roy reminds his mother that Hayley and he have welcomed her into their home and she’s got no where else to go, so she best just keep quiet and accept it.  Well, not in so many words but you catch my drift.  Later, up in the flat, Becky tells Sylvia that Hayley is “just Hayley Cropper, simple as that.”  Becky is all done up and goes to find Steve.  Steve comes into the cafe instead completely angry at Becky.  Becky admits she lied about sleeping with other men, but Steve is very upset still.  He tells Becky he’s filing for divorce since he hasn’t got any fight left. 

Marcus finally returns home with Dylan.  Sean lays into him about not being able to get get a hold of them and that he’d nearly called the police.  Marcus realized that he hadn’t turned his phone back on after the pictures, but Sean is still upset.  Marcus blames Sean for feeding Dylan a dodgy burger the other day and Sean figures that maybe two dads is too much and he should be doing this on his own.  Marcus tells him to decide.  Later in the pub, Sean apologizes to Marcus. He says Marcus makes parenting so easy, but Marcus just tells him not to panic.  Marcus suggest they go out, since Eileen is babysitting. 

The aunties are finally leaving Coronation Street.  The ladies argue between each other – to the last minute I suppose.

DC Redfern pays a visit to Carla in the pub and doesn’t like his interrogation.  Peter sees the man bothering Carla and goes over to try to settle it as Leanne tells him to stay out of it.  DC Redfern is sent away when he realizes Carla is drunk anyway.  Peter obviously still has feelings for Carla and Leanne gets jealous about it. 

HIGHLIGHTS

- So far, the only member of the new family that I like is Karl, the boyfriend.  Stella and her daughter seem rather forced and fluffy.

- Roy: “I’m not particularly good with children.”  Sylvia: “Well, you’re not good with adults either, but you manage.”

- Sylvia, about Roy and Hayley: “I must be missing something here.” Norris: “She’s not the only one.”

- Steve: “My days of fearing women are well and truly over.”  PFFFFFTTTT.

- How cute are little Liam and little Dylan?

- Is that the biggest Aloe Vera plant you’ve EVER seen?!

LOWLIGHTS

- All Sylvia ever does is complain, complain, complain!  Girl needs a mute button!

- The whole Sylvia thinking that Roy and Hayley would have children was an obvious ploy to reveal Hayley’s sexuality.  Seriously, Roy is about SIXTY and Hayley isn’t exactly a “spring chicken” herself.  Did she seriously think these two would have a baby at this point?! Just ridiculous! 

- Does anyone else find Eva useless and annoying?  We already have ONE Rosie Webster.

- I really enjoyed the aunties last time they were on our screens, but this return I found them just quite annoying and irrelevant.

Dennis Tanner and the Missing Tenner: Thu June 16, 2011 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Damon Rochefort, directed by Graeme Harper

Steve’s not so sure Becky will return, after what he’s done.  But he’s onto more important things: custody of Amy and manipulating Tracy into giving it to him.  Tracy lays into Tina about being upset over losing Graeme and Tina’s not having it.   Tracy is sucking up to Steve because she is still under the impression that he will promote her to bar manager.  Steve lets her think this and even gives her the rest of the afternoon off – but only so he can have her out of the way when he interviews for the position of bar manager.  Tracy tells what she thinks is good news to mum Deirdre, who is more concerned with progressing to glazing her own pots.  Tracy leaves her mother to picking up Amy but not before calling her selfish. 

Meanwhile, back at the Rovers Steve is interviewing bar manager candidates in the back.  He interviews a dodgy giggler named Sheila who thinks that the Rover’s is a palace and “Ben and Jerry” her mastiffs (or “backup”) will love the yard!  “Next!”  Luckily for Steve, Stella arrives and she even manages to get Tommy to properly ask Tina out on a date.  Stella quickly manages to wrap Steve around her little finger – although that’s not an challenging feat.  She tells him that she’ll have to have live-in accommodations or she cannot take the job, before he’s even offered it.  He agrees to her terms since it’s “only him” up there now and she tells him she’ll let him know if she’ll accept his offer before the end of the day. 

The solicitor arrives at the Rovers with Steve’s custody agreement ready to sign and Tracy walks in dressed to kill.  Well, not literally – not this time.  Tracy is more interested in her and Steve going for a romantic dinner than signing some long agreement.  She agrees to sign it and doesn’t even want to read it all because Steve has enticed her with the thought of going to a romantic dinner at a new Italian restaurant.  Later, Stella arrives at the Rovers and Tracy ask who the hell is she and is in for a shock when Stella informs her that she’s the new bar manager.  Tracy says to Steve that he promised her that job, to which he basically said “get stuffed” told her the job was taken and that she was fired.  Tracy says that he’ll regret that, but he says he’ll take his chances.  Go Steve!

At Nick’s bistro, Tommy continues to buy Tina shots of tequila at her boozy insistence.  When she goes to the little girls room, Cheryl – who has been basically the third wheel on their date at arms reach – tells Tommy that Tina’s drinking away her sorrows and he should be a gentleman.  It hadn’t occurred to me that he was being any less of one at this given time.  What every guy likes to hear out on a date with a girl he likes - “she’s not trying to have a good time, she’s drinking herself into a coma to block stuff out.”  When she returns, Tommy says she’s had enough and offers to walk her home.  Of course, she gets insulted asking if he thinks she’s twelve and that if he doesn’t want her, someone else will!  Tommy just can’t win with this girl!  (Or any girl for that matter).  Tina stumbles out into the street in broad daylight knocking about the topiaries until Tommy comes out and walks her home.  She apologizes to him and says he’s not such a bad guy underneath it all. 

Norris gawks as he sees Sean and Marcus arrive with Dylan in tow.  Norris wouldn’t trust Sean to look after a stray cat never mind a baby!  Over at Eileen’s, little Dylan is overwhelmed by his new home as everyone tries to get him to eat Julie’s spag bol, and he has to say goodbye to Mummy on the phone.  Later at the Rover’s Norris gossips about Eileen and all the gay men she takes in with Rita, Dennis and Sylvia.  Sylvia figures that the way that young people are these days two men would have just as much a chance at raising a baby than anyone else.  Norris (figuring she knows that Hayley was once Harold) says that she must have an opinion about it.  Rita tries to keep Norris quit, realizing that Sylvia has no clue.  Especially when Sylvia wonders why Roy and Hayley didn’t have children of their own since Hayley is “that type.”  Dennis continues to “look” for that missing tenner to buy everyone drinks.  Must be in his other jacket. 

Gary waits for Izzy after work but is told that she already left to see an old mate of hers.  Later, he finds her in the cafe and gets angry that she wasn’t at work when he was waiting for her.  He goes all crazy possessive when she tries to introduce him to her mate, Will.  He gets even more upset when he finds out that she’s going out with Will and her old Freshco mates for tomorrow.  Izzy is, needless to say, put off by his attitude. 

Julie’s still on her hunt for Brian and figures if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.  How hard would it be to track this guy down?  You know his name and Fiz would know where he teaches.  It’s not exactly a needle in a haystack situation here.  Unless he’s gone into hiding from John Stape!  She figures her potential romance is like something out of some serendipitous romance film.  Eileen likens it to “Dumb and Dumber.”

HIGHLIGHTS

- It’s amazing how much Steve McDonald gets done without Becky in the way!  She’s gone for only a few days and already he’s taken back control of his pub and his daughter.  

- Steve manipulating Tracy like that was a dirty move, but Tracy deserves it, so “highlight!”

- Norris’s comment about not being able to even look at a turkey baster any more after knowing how Dylan was conceived.

- When Steve asks Tina if she could bring he and Stella two teas and some biscuits or perhaps some cakes and she asks “is this Downton Abbey?”  No, it’s not because if it were Liam Connor would still be on our screens!

- Norris’ distaste of the cheapskate Dennis.

- Rita, to Sylvia in the Rovers: “Come for a drink?” Sylvia: “What gave it away?”

- Norris, re Eileen: “There were more gay men come through her door than at Judy Garland’s funeral!”

- OH that look of shock when Tracy realized she’d be duped by Stevey-boy!  ATTA boy!

LOWLIGHTS

- Tracy making fun of Graeme for washing windows for a living.  Puh-lease, as opposed to what she does? Whatever that happens to be at whatever time?!  I would take 100 Graeme’s for 1 Tracy any day.

- Have you ever seen someone roll their eyes for SO long as Tina did when Tommy told her that he likes to dress up for a beautiful woman?  Ha-ha. 

- I don’t really like or condone Gary’s possessive behaviour, but you have to admit he looks cute when he’s angry!

Dim Sum, Lose Some: Mon June 13, 2011 Corrie Episode Review

7:30

Written by John Kerr, directed by Graeme Harper

Tina wakes up in tears on the sofa in her newly reclaimed flat.  Meanwhile, Graeme and Xin wake up in a mess on the sofa at the Platt’s.  Kylie blasts Tina, but is reminded by an offended looking Xin that Tina’s still her friend.  Wow, if that’s how Xin treats her friends I don’t want to be her enemy.  Perhaps there’s a REAL reason she didn’t want to get deported back to China. Gail not liking to have Tina hurt, after all she’s been to reminds Graeme of it.   Xin tells Graeme  Rita is arrives at the flat to comfort Tina where Tina tells her how much she hates Graeme and Xin.  Tina figures Graeme didn’t love her enough.  Tina goes to work, but Kylie and David come in and Kylie can’t stand by rub Tina’s face in Graeme leaving her for Xin.   Kylie pushes Tina too far and the two girls cat fight until Steve breaks them up and almost fires Tina over it.  Graeme later returns to the flat to get some of his things and Tina grates him over where they slept together, but Graeme says he did care about her and that it’s not his fault he fell in love with Xin.  Graeme felt he was always a safe bet for her and that she never needed him – but Xin does.  Tina threatens Graeme to report he and Xin to immigration.  She tells Graeme to get out, and he leaves.  He goes right to Chez Platt and tells Xin to pack her bags they must flee since Tina is going to call them in.  Graeme lets Gail in on their secret and now she understand why they’re there.  They frantically pack, but Gail says that she’ll have a word with Tina.  

Sean is being a big girl about working back at the factory where he could be “inches away” from where a dead body was.  Marcus also accuses Sean of being a wimp, but tells him some good news. He’s been due some tax money and wants to treat Sean to two weeks in Las Vegas, which grabs him quite nicely.  Sean gets a call later with some bad news.  Violet’s been in a car crash and she’s injured.  Violet’s grandmother is watching Dylan in the meantime.  Later, Sean confides in Eileen that he wants to look after Dylan while Violet’s recuperating but he’s afraid of what Marcus will think about it since they just got back together.  Eileen encourages him to just as Marcus, but later she goes behind Sean’s back and tells Marcus of the situation.  Good news, because Marcus would love to have Dylan around and tells Sean as much. 

At the factory, the girls are mostly freaked out by their returning to work in someone’s former grave.  Business as usual, Carla as usual wants folk to forget it and work.  Julie says it’s all a bit peculiar, so Carla points out where she thinks the body was.  Fiz actually returns to Underworld as we all thought she would, since she hasn’t got one of those money trees in the backyard like Gail McIntyre.  Eileen points out later that Fiz was really brave for coming in after all that’s happened.  Fiz was really only slighted by two people: the predictable Sally Webster and the prickly Sylvie Cropper. 

James visits Sophie at work to tell her that the charity has forgiven her and he wants her to come to an event tonight.  Sophie tries to tell him that her parents have banned her from helping the needy since it’s a waste of time.  She tells James she’s sorry and he says so is he, since she had so much more to offer.  Yeah, more money.  Later, Sophie meets James at No.1 and offers her an unpaid job with the charity.  Sophie takes this unpaying job since she never knew what to do with her life and no one else has ever offered her anything.  No one?! She can come to my place and clean for free…how’s that for an offer?! Sophie completely disregards her parents opinions on her charity work and accepts. 

Steve’s solicitor comes by the Rovers to get him to sign that custody agreement that he wanted to have drafted up before.  The solicitor asks if he’s sure that Tracy will agree to it.  Steve says to leave Tracy to him.  He reinstates Tracy at the Rovers, plus makes her think she’ll be getting a bar manager position. 

8:30

Written by Jim Cartwright, directed by Graeme Harper

Xin freaks out that it’s all her fault that Graeme is leaving Weatherfield but he insists he came there with nothing, and he’s leaving with all he needs.  How long would you give Graeme and Xin?  I’d give them five months max.  Gail goes to see Tina and after a few wise words or two, she gets Tina to agree not to call the authorities on the young lovers.  Tina says that she really loved Graeme, since he took away that black hole that her dad left when he went.  Gail tells her to pick herself up – she’s got to.  Gail tells her that betrayal is one of the worst things to deal with, and doesn’t she know.  Gail convinces her that revenge is not the best answer.  Tina goes over to Gail’s and tells Graeme and Xin that she’s not going to call immigration and gets a thank you from Graeme.  Xin wants to know what she and Graeme are going to do now.  Graeme and Xin have decided that it’s best for them to just leave Weatherfield.  After a final drink with David in the pub, a brief flirt with Gail and her blue dressing gown, a and goodbye to Norris. Graeme can’t but help tease Norris and tells him that he’s going to be cleaning windows in China.  They’re really going to London.  Graeme says goodbye to all in the pub – well, like four people that cared he was leaving.  It was a rather lame goodbye, as though he was just going on holiday for a week or something. 

As is true Corrie style, however, no goodbye is complete without someone running out after you into the cobbles.  So, as Graeme was ready to get into his cab with Xin, a love-torn Tin runs out from the flat screaming his name.  It would have been a sweeter moment had Xin not uttered, “ugh, someone needs to speak to you.”  Yeah, that someone is the reason you’re still in the country and have a husband you scheming, selfish little so-and-so.  Tina tells Graeme that he broke her heart, but she could never hate him since he saved her life once.  With that, Graeme gets into the cab with his wife and drives on while Tina is left with only Gail to console her.  The street loses one of the best characters to come by in recent times, in my humble opinion. 

Julie asks Fiz if Brian’s been asking about her.  Over drinks, Fiz admits to Julie that she and John deliberately broke up her and Brian for the sake of secrecy.  Julie asks about Brian’s wife, but Fiz admits that they brought her back into the picture, not Brian.  Julie figures that if it’s real love – it’ll find a away and Fiz agrees to help her track down Brian again so that they can roll of into the sunset singing Neil Diamond tunes, presumably. 

Dev continues to complain about Sunita’s aunties when Sophie comes in and tells Sunita that she’ll be quitting her job at the shop.  She’s tells them about her charity work opportunity instead.  Sunita thinks it’s a great idea, but Dev thinks she owes him that payment-in-advance.  Sunita says that Sophie will just have to pay the back when she can.  The aunties tease Dev saying they can’t blame Sophie, “Rats leaving a sinking ship come to mind?”  Later, Dev informs Kevin that Sophie has quit to do more charity work and Kev doesn’t seem happy to know this.  Later at home, Kevin yells at Sophie for working at that soup kitchen but she tells him that he can’t stop her, so he can stick it with his loads of money. 

Jason pokes holes in Sean’s child-rearing plan pointing out that Sean is a big kid.  Sean gets touchy and leaves. Jason reminds his mum that they’ll be bursting at the seams with a kid running around.  He says it’s not fair on Rosie, but Eileen says that if Flossy Webster doesn’t like it, she knows where the door is.  Hint hint, Jason.  Later, Marcus assures Sean that he can take care of Dylan as a proper father. 

HIGHLIGHTS

- Nice touch in Graeme going back to the empty butcher’s shop to remember Ashley – the person who really helped him find his way in Weatherfield.

- Eileen joking with Marcus about “tempting him over to the dark side (dating women)” at the mention of a trip to Las Vegas.

- Xin helping Gail with her Freshco bags: “Lucky for you I saw you coming off the bus.” Gail: “Yes, heaven knows how I managed all these years.”

- Gail’s nice sentimental words of advice to Tina, regarding Graeme.

- How Jason lies with his legs up on mummy’s lap on the sofa.  Mummy’s boy for life!

LOWLIGHTS

- Does anyone feel sorry for Gail that her home is basically David’s to take in whomever he likes?  Gail has become completely irrelevant to everyone in her life.

- That rotten little Xin: “Tina’s still my friend.”  Did anyone else ever believe the chemistry between Graeme and Xin? I didn’t – completely cold fish.

- I’m going to TOTALLY miss Graeme, but Xin – whatever.  I’ll be glad to see the back of all those terrible Chinese stereotypes that Corrie writers heavily ink into the scripts, more like.

- Why does it look like Tina’s been borrowing from Gail’s (or Marc’s!) closet?  Not that she doesn’t look nice, but it’s a bit of a change, no? 

- Sylvie assuming because Sian and Sophie are lesbians, they must be vegetarians too?! Is that a bad joke on “not eating meat?”  Oh, Corrie. 

- What is Sophie thinking ditching a paying job for a charity one?  Charity’s all fine and good but you’ve got to be supporting yourself before you can support others!

- Why does it seem like anyone who lives on the Cobbles that has no specific reason for leaving (ie. another place calling them) seems to head to London?  As though to say “we really have NO other place to go, so let’s just take a train to London and we’ll fall in line real quick.”

- That lame goodbye to Graeme in the Rovers!  I will miss him!

The Barmaid and the Idiot: Mon June 6, 2011 Corrie Episode Review

7:30

Written by Ellen Taylor, directed by Laurence Moody

In the Rovers, Steve cries to Lloyd that he might have lost Becky for good.  Isn’t that “for good” though?  Roy’s mum comes into the Rovers to tell Steve that Becky’s been “squatting in her son’s cafe.”  Meanwhile, the Barlow’s, especially Deirdre, fight back tears as they try to make sense of their demolished living room after hurricane Becky stormed through.  Deirdre thinks they should call the police, but Tracy figures that insurance will cover it and tries not to get Becky in trouble?  Tracy wants Steve onside for custody of Amy but Deirdre wants justice for her things.  Steve finds Becky at Roy’s and she’s completely depressed over Max and doesn’t even listen to Steve’s apology.  Becky wonders what will happen to Max now and tells Steve to get out and sobs in the cafe. 

Later in the Rovers, Tracy tells Steve she came to see if he’s alright and tells him how she persuaded Deirdre not to press charges.  Tracy tells Steve that she just wants to be a good parent and tells him she’ll bring Amy around later to cheer him up.  At the cafe, Sylvie tells Becky to get out of Roy’s cafe and to stop wallowing.  Sylvie says she knows that Steve loves her and if she’s willing to throw away her marriage then she’ll be the heartless cow in thirty years time.  Trust her, she knows. Becky returns home to find Steve, Tracy and Amy playing happy families in the Rovers living room and looks on in sadness while Steve follows after her. 

Fiz is happy to be cradling baby Hope again in hospital after the whole John-commits-suicide-or-does-he-disappear business.  The detective arrives to tell Fiz that it’s been discovered that John was pretending to be Colin Fishwick in a teaching job last year but Fiz plays dumb telling him she thought Colin left for Canada and that’s the last she’d heard.  The detective doesn’t seem so sure she doesn’t know anything but leaves anyway.  Fiz is told by the doctors that she can be discharged now and return home.

Norris’ nose gets bent out of shape when Dennis is “working” at The Kabin.  He reads the paper and the front page news is on the kidnapping and murder slash disappearance of John Stape and are in awe.  Sally comes in and already knowing the news feels it’s terrible that Rosie has to re-live it all.  At least Rosie got some cash – what did Chesney and the Hoyle’s get?!  Norris figures that Fiz was John’s accomplice and Sally agrees.  As usual, Norris is half-right.  Norris asks Julie if Fiz was in on John’s criminal activities.  Julie and Chesney stand up for Fiz to the loose-lipped newsagent. 

Later, the detective comes to see Fiz and they tell him that they’ve had a spotting of John and that he’s boarded a ferry.  The detective wants to talk to Fiz about John Fishwick.  Uh-oh.  The detective tells Fiz that someone has claimed Joy’s inheritance with Colin’s name.  Fiz claims complete ignorance to the situation but the detective tells her how he was speaking to a solicitor that said a woman calling herself Mrs. Colin Fishwick claimed Joy’s inheritance on her husbands behalf.  She also attended Joy’s funeral and according to him that woman has long wavy red hair and a young premature baby.  Fiz buckles and tells the detective she’ll tell him everything.  She tells him how John stole Colin’s documents to get a teaching account and how Colin found out and confronted John then Colin had a heart attack and died.  That’s what John told her – he swore he didn’t kill him.  John then was scared that his fraud would come out so he hid the body under the factory floor of Underworld but she didn’t know any of this until just lately.   She found John with the body last week when they dug up the body at Underworld and how John coerced her into disposing the body.  Fiz pleads with Chesney that she didn’t know what to do as she gets arrested by the detective.  Fiz is taken into the police car crying for Ches and her baby. 

The Alahan’s are back on our screen for anyone who missed them.  It would seem that Sunita’s aunts are back and here for a visit.  This begs the question – where on earth are they going to sleep?  As Sunita says she barely has room to swing a cat in there.  Let’s hope she never gets a cat.  Dev wants to lie to the aunties about their financial situation and marital situation since on Corrie, lying is always the best policy and first solution.  The aunties arrive and are lied to about why they live in this small house now as opposed to “their” bigger old house.  The aunties complain about sleeping in a camper bed in the Alahan’s so Sunita gives up their bedroom. 

Xin is looking for jobs, but doesn’t want to waitress.  Graeme apologies to Xin for things turning out as they did.  Xin’s attempts at humour are thwarted by a humourless Graeme.  She says she needs to pack and sends him to the Rovers.  Tina is excited for Xin to leave but Graeme is just awkward.  David asks Graeme what’s the matter and Graeme tells him that he slept with Xin.  David thinks this whole thing is absolutely hilarious but Graeme is horrified.  David doesn’t understand why he’s so upset and he should just keep mum about it – unless he’s not sure it was a mistake. 

8:30

Written by Debbie Oates, directed by Laurence Moody

Steve begs Becky to come back but she continues to sulk.  Steve tells her that everything could have gone the other way if David hadn’t messed things up.  Everything is always someone else’s fault, isn’t it Steve?  Why doesn’t he just admit that he did this for his daughter, end of.  He coaxes Becky back in for a pint together in a patronizing way but she doesn’t follow.  She comes back eventually and is greeted happily by Amy who asks her to help her with her puzzle.  Tracy takes Amy home on Steve’s request.  Becky says that she hates Steve but Steve figures they’ll get through since they’ve gotten through mistakes before.  Steve tells her to think of the future and how they’d be nothing apart.  Steve says they’ll fight for Max, but Becky knows they’ll lose.  Becky says she can’t be at the Rovers because it reminds her of how Max will never be there.  Steve says they can move to a flat or something. Becky says if they move it has to be somewhere far, far away and completely new.  Becky wants to start a new pub called ‘The Barmaid and the Idiot.”  I’ll let you figure out who’s-who.  Becky wants to leave with Amy but Steve figures he can’t rip her away all of that.  Steve doesn’t want to leave Amy and move far, far away.  Becky thinks they’ll fall apart if they stay around there.  Later, Becky tells Steve she’s been upstairs packing.  She tells Steve not to follow her, and hands him her wedding ring and leaves. 

At the police station, Fiz takes her interview with the detectives.  Fiz tells them the play-by-play of what happened when she discovered John with Colin’s body.  Fiz says the smell was terrible and from John’s face she knew something bad would happen.  She didn’t call the police because John said if she did they’d both go to prison.  Fiz says she’d go to prison over Joy’s money, even though she didn’t keep it.  She tells the police that she wanted to put it back, so she gave it to charity instead.  The detective wonders why John would dispose of a body of someone he didn’t kill just to avoid awkward questions about money.  Fiz begs not to be sent to prison.  The detective asks where Colin’s body is and Fiz tells him the canal.  Fiz is brought to the canal with the police to find out where the body is.  They have divers look for Colin’s remains as Fiz asks aloud what will happen to her now. 

Later at home, Chesney feels bad about just standing there when Fiz was taken away by police and wants to tell her that he’s on her side.  Katy thinks he’s in no state to do so and should just leave a message.  Chesney is enraged that Stape is running around while Fiz’s going down for murder.  Back at the station, the detectives try to suss Fiz out and figure out what kind of person she is.  Fiz blames all on John and how he kidnapped Chesney.  She says she only did it for Hope and how she’d be alone if she was in jail.  The detective thinks that Fiz was being reckless by letting John continue to assume Colin’s identity when she found out about it.  He figures that they BOTH knew that Colin wasn’t thousands of miles away in Canada, but a few yards away under Underworld.  Fiz attests that she didn’t know Colin was dead.  They start all over again.  Fiz begs them to let her go but the detective arrests her on suspicion of fraud by false representation.  Fiz’s solicitor tells her not to say anything else. 

At the factory, Carla tries to get into her office to do some work, but is told by Owen that it’s not her office, it’s a building site.  They’re both corrected by police who tell them that it’s actually a crime scene. 

Cheryl is excited about their move into No.13 and has the paint and rollers laid out for Lloyd.  Lloyd gets drunk instead of starting to paint, so much that he steps into the paint tray with his shoe on.  So much for Cheryl’s gift for him doing the decorating of a 42” plasma TV.  He hasn’t even done any work!  But seriously, what did she expect?

The Alahan’s treat the aunties to dinner at Nick’s Bistro where they proceed to outspend each other on their meals.  I’m sure Dev’s wallet is just shrivelling as they talk.  Dev’s cards are all declined at the restaurant and Dev has Sunita take the aunties home.  Dev admits that he has a cash flow issue and he can get Cheryl some money from the bank in the morning.  Sunita suggests to her aunts that they all just chip in but the aunties are flabbergasted at that suggestion.  Sunita admits that the house they’re staying in is the one that they live in and Dev apologizes for lying. 

HIGHLIGHTS

- Sylvie to Steve: “Your wife has been squatting in my son’s cafe.”

- Dev imitating Sunita’s aunts: “Oh, not married! She’s a hus-sy.”

- Sylvie showing somewhat of a softer side. 

- Amy happy to see Becky. 

LOWLIGHTS

- The Barlow’s should TOTALLY have called the police on Becky.  They’re entitled to their insurance claim!  The complete disrespect Tracy shows for her parents home and belongings!  Ugh.

- Did anyone notice that Becky’s looking a LOT how she looked when she first arrived on the cobbles?  Is this on purpose as though she’s supposed to be coming full circle again by time she leaves?  Will Slug show up and take her off into the cider-tinted sunset eventually?  (stay tuned for a post)

- Tracy’s such a manipulative little brat!

- Poor Fiz getting taken away by the police.  Ugh.  I always knew John Stape was a bad’un and she was a dumb’un. 

- Why does Steve always have to be the one to grovel and make excuses for what he does to Becky?  She ruins his life and he’s set apologizing for it.  It WAS best that Max be taken to live in a better place without rowing and obscenities. 

- Poor Carla!  Running that factory has been a nightmare from the start.  First the builders, now it’s a crime scene!  She’ll never make production deadlines now.