Written by Chris Fewtrell (7:30pm) & Simon Crowther (8:30pm), Directed by Pip Short.Open to Maria having contractions on the beach and Tony panicking. The baby is coming! Tony carries Maria off the beach, a la The Bodyguard, and into a beach hut. He then calls an ambulance, however, the baby isn't going to wait for help to arrive. Maria, between screams, says she doesn't want to give birth in a beach hut. Better than where this woman delivered hers. It's too painful to look at Maria's face right now. She's handling it well. She really should be writhing in pain on the floor. Tony looks between Maria's legs and sees a head! He wasn't prepared for that. Neither were we! Tony can see the baby is coming and does what must be done: takes off his shirt. Our shirtless hero scoops the baby up on its way out of the womb. We hear cries, then see a large newborn in Tony's arms. I'm not going to get into the technicalities of this scene, because it's television! I can use enough imagination, they don't need to smear a baby with cream cheese and jam for me. Maria is elated, and Tony lovingly kisses her on the forehead. What a lovely family moment. Er, just a lovely moment. The ambulance arrives later than sooner and that woman with the dog on the beach from before is there staring at Maria in the ambulance. She's rather nosy! Dog Lady offers to take care of Ozzy so that Tony can ride with Maria in the ambulance. Dog Lady refers to Maria as Tony's wife, and Tony almost, but doesn't, correct her. Just as Maria did earlier. At the hospital, Audrey, Natasha, Kirk and Fiz come to see the baby. They go through a tonne of baby name options for her, and Kirk suggests D'Artagnan to everyone's immediate dismissal. Tony says they should all call it a night. Maria later tells Tony she's naming the baby Liam. Well, that's unsurprising since Maria's never really been a woman of much independent thought. I liked D'Artagnan better.
Eddie and Anna go to the prison to see Gary. I know it's kind of tacky, but I really like Anna's jacket. Gary's in John Stape's place in the prisoner visiting room. Gary tells them he deserved what he got and wants to turn his life around. Only he's not so sure that as an ex-con he'll get a good start. Later, Anna is relaxing at home with a foot bath and a tabloid. Wow, except for taste in men, she and I are starting to have a lot in common. Eddie walks down the stairs with his hair slicked back into a ponytail and in a tight red turtleneck. When did he get a job selling used cars? Eddie bumbles down on one knee and proposes to Anna. Wait, weren't they already married? Wait, is that red turtleneck his best shirt? Anna turns him down as he only seems to propose to her out of pity. He says he does this gesture so that she doesn't leave him. Um, a shower and a shave can be extremely effective too.
Steve tries to make up to Becky for being jealous over Slug by booking her another wedding and making her a summer bride. Becky is so happy, since Princess Di was a summer bride. Oh, they just have SO much in common. *rolls eyes* Slug tries to poke holes in Steve McDonald to Becky, but it's not working, as Becky lets him know she loves where she is and doesn't want to blow it. Hmm.
Tina finds Jason and tells him how impressed she is over the flowers he sent. Only, he didn't. She realises that David must have done so. Later, Jason and Tina have their romantic Indian food take-away and Jason checks out the windows in case there's a lurking David around. Tina isn't happy to have David Platt as baggage. Tina suggest that she and Jason get a mortgage and buy a home together to fix up and make money on. Purely a business investment, not a love nest or anything. Uh huh, that's what we all say! This is moving a little fast!
Molly and Kevin look forward to their secret rendezvous later. Kevin gets ready for his "date" with Molly and comes down in a shirt unbuttoned to his belly button! This is Friday night, not Saturday night, but he has got the fever! Sally sees this and tells him to "put it away." Ha ha. Kevin is stuck in the cab office to meet Ben's parents for a pizza dinner with Sally, Ben and Sophie. Sally asks him what he's thinking about. Um, that he'd rather be with Molly than stuck with his wife, daughter and her boyfriend in a stinky cab office with his chest hair concealed? Just a guess. Kevin tries to make an excuse to leave to see Molly. Meanwhile, Molly's all dolled up, and has set out the wine and candles, when Tyrone arrives back early and spoils all their torrid fun. Kevin comes in, but Molly ushers him out the room. Kevin has to endure a night of pizza with his family and some other family. Molly has to endure mindless ice-cream conversations with Tyrone over two bottles of white wine. Poof, out go the candles.
Emily comes into the Kabin and tells Norris and Ramsay that her church desperately needs more volunteers for their next function. Ramsay gallantly volunteers. That turns Emily's frown up-side down! After the function, Ramsay and Emily regale on what a great time they had at the church function to Norris. Ramsay thinks all the other church ladies has eyebrows raised in jealousy over the fact that Emily arrived with an interesting new man. Norris is quick to remind Ramsay that he's a pensioner en-route to Australia, not the Milk Tray Man. I'm suddenly reminded of how much I love Norris. Emily tells Ramsay it's a shame that he has to return to Australia that he really fits in around here. *sees sparks* Ramsay isn't so sure he does fit in around there. Norris can be such a damper!
Elsewhere, Jason takes Sean to the gym. Sean complains about his man-boobs and tells how he put on a turtleneck the other day and looked like Dolly Parton! Oh please, we all know Dolly Parton does not own a turtleneck. Sean notices a rather handsome young gent in their general vicinity so he tries to show off by lifting as much weight as Jason. His face looks just like Maria's who was giving birth earlier. Fail! Oh, Sean. I think we'll be seeing more of this handsome young gent however...
nb. Sorry this review is a little late. I was on vacation, ironically at the beach!
4 comments:
As soon as i realized the wine was white, i know Nobody would be having any rumpeh pumpeh that night. Not even Tyrone. Corrie shenanigans always = red wine
I thought the Windasses were already married as well, she wears a wedding ring and has always been known as Anna Windass. I suppose its an excuse for a tacky wedding, had a birth, two deaths are on the horizon so a wedding is bound to follow. They always go in that natural order in soaps.
Is there no credit crunch near Manchester? Have Tina and Jason not copped on that no-one is buying property done up or otherwise? How is this hare brained scheme, sorry venture being financed? Jason is employed by Bill Webster who never seems to have much work and Tina works part time at the kebab shop and part time at the sweet shop. ??
I thought it was lovely when Tony passed the baby up to Maria and then kissed her forehead. What a shame he has done what he's done so they can never be happy together with that big black cloud hanging over them.
Any normal man would be running a mile if a girl (Tina) had suggested they buy a property together (to do up or not) within days of starting a relationship together! There are certainly some bargain properties to be had lately if you can get the funding for them but you can't sell them on just like that and make a profit, I think you'd need to hang onto them a fair while lending improves. Mind you, young kids like Tina do come with cloud cuckoo land ideas sometimes so that's probably quite realistic.
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