Leanne cracks a smile for the first time in many months as Nick goes back to the office. I think a lot of us have wanted our partners out of the flat since March. Didn't Leanne and Nick split up? Or did she realise she had nowhere else to go except France and since the chunnel has been barricaded to stop Brits going anywhere, she's decided that Victoria Court is as good as anywhere? She says she will start to clear Oliver's room. Whilst Leanne's crying over his pet dinosaur, Natasha arrives all in a tizzy to say Sam's gone missing. He later turns up with Granny Gail and says he ran off because he and Natasha are moving to That London. Mate, we're in Tier 4, no-one's coming in or out. There's a ring of steel around the M25! Sam isn't very keen even when Natasha promises him museums every weekend. They're all shut! Anyway, Sam wants to move in with Nick and even tries to rope in Leanne, so Nick has to ring him to let him down gently.
Chesney hasn't got any presents for his kids yet. It's 21st December, Chesney! Plus the Trafford Centre is probably a petri dish of germs. Also, the quads are too young to know what Xmas is: he could just tell them later on that he got them loads of presents for their first Christmas, they're never gonna know. Anyway, Ches tells Gemma she's going to have to sell some more make-up. She discovers that previously interested punters have been stolen by Michael, so Chesney agrees with Big Garth (Big Garth!) that she can have a market stall. Wouldn't an ebay account be a bit easier?
Shona does the ironing to make it up to David that she broke into the Bistro with her teenage BFF Simon. Maybe a nice bottle of booze rather than turning into a Stepford wife, Shona? David says he forgives her, but later is blackmailed by Ray who says he won't turn CCTV footage to the police if David drops the case against the development. David acquiesces, but tells Shona that their marriage isn't working. I guess he hasn't read the Xmas Day previews.
Talking of relationship strife, Todd continues his I Luv Billy campaign. Is this the most evil thing Todd has ever done? I don't just mean trying to split up the A-gays but catfishing poor Billy and basically ruining his work at the helpline as a) Billy'll be sacked when the supervisor finds out and b) could he ever trust anyone ever again when he finds out? On top of that, "Will" is stopping other people getting through on the helpline. Anyway, "Will" rings Paul to arrange a crisis meet up and Todd goes over to make up an excuse for Paul. Billy knows that Paul is lying - he does have a hotline to the big man, after all. As an aside, Eileen and Sean'd make a great Googlebox couple, wouldn't they?
D.S. Baldy Willets approaches Sarah to ask about the watch that she admits to having thrown away and because nobody in Weatherfield is following the Tier 3 rules, Maria hears Brian and Bernie bickering about the watch in the cafe and Bernie tells Maria that Gangsta Gazza offered her £100 for her to buy it back off of Sarah. Maria quizzes Gary who denies everything, unsurprisingly. Is Maria going to be the strongest link in all of this? Given her wholesale swallowing of any old rubbish Gary comes up with, it seems unlikely, but what do I know?
And a happy solstice to you all!
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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