Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Saturday 5 December 2020

Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week


Testify!  The trial of Yasmeen finally started this week and we got everything we could possibly ask for.  Surprise witnesses!  Badgering lawyers!  Sexy legal assistants!  But the best thing was a pair of barnstorming performances from Shelley King and Paula Wilcox, as the worms turned on Geoff and proved that they under the fragile surface they were still strong confident women.  It was hard to pick a favourite moment - perhaps Yasmeen telling the story of Geoff cooking her chicken, because let's be honest, there's no real way of getting out of that one, or maybe Elaine's sudden, controlled anger at the prosecutor.  Incidentally, kudos to @ChrisAnstey74 on Twitter for spotting that she's the same barrister who defended Nathan and his gang of perverts; where's your loyalty to the Sisterhood, eh?  


Sadly, having the jury in another room means they didn't get to see all the incredibly smug faces Geoff pulled every time one of the witnesses got dragged.  Couldn't somebody give them some little tables to lean on, by the way?  They're all resting their notes on their lap.  The court is apparently far more interested in dramatic camera angles, as rather than having a single shot of the jury, they kept sweeping in for close ups...


…or panning across the room...


The legal adviser probably wanted to study film at university but he had a pushy mum who insisted he get a career and now he's getting his artistic side out where he can.  Unfortunately, Tim couldn't testify about That Time Yasmeen Got Locked In A Magic Box because he thumped Geoff shortly before the trial began.  I had thought that social distancing would mean an end to that kind of thing but they found a way round it: first person perspective.




Maybe this is how they'll get round being unable to have characters kiss, too, and we'll just see characters lean in towards the camera with their lips puckered.  If the producers want to practice it by having the camera take the position of Toyah with Imran looming over her in bed I am very much ok with that.  Congratulations incidentally to Craig, who continued his streak of being an absolutely terrible policeman by witnessing an actual physical assault and doing literally nothing about it.


If it ain't broke...  Ray was back to his disgusting ways this week, and I was amused to see he pulled exactly the same schtick on Faye as he did on Michelle.  Hotel room, wine list, dressing gown, the lot.  He's one of those awful men who has a single chat up line and uses it over and over on every girl in the club until he finds one who's drunk enough to give in.  Sadly, Faye wasn't as strong-willed as Michelle - of course nobody is, as the Exalted Queen of the Universe is perfect - and she gave in to his pressure.  It was so sad to see her tucked up in bed, suddenly looking incredibly young and vulnerable, while Ray buttoned up his Levi's and burbled a load of rubbish about feminism.  She went back to the Street and dumped Craig.  I'm not too unhappy about that to be honest.  I liked them far more as friends than as lovers.  Faye's still got her job, for the time being, so she can continue to share her impeccable wine tasting skill of describing a bottle of red as having a tang of "wet dog".  Thanks for the recommendation - I'll take six!


Play to your strengths.  I never watched Benidorm; it really wasn't my kind of thing.  But from what I understand Tony Maudsley was an absolute star of the show.  So why haven't they let him be funny in Corrie?  All George has done since he started in the programme is stand in the back and look sad in a black suit.  Even in his dealings with Eileen and Mary he's been quiet and understated.  Can we give him some laugh out loud material?  A few gags?  Admittedly, falling over Oliver's coffin and his trousers falling down might have destroyed the mood but let's not repeat the mistake they made with Comedy Legend Les Dennis, who was in the show for three years and smiled about twice before keeling over.  The campaign to Make Tony Maudsley Funny starts here.


Get the most out of what you've got. 
I think Sue Nicholls has been enjoying lockdown just a little bit too much.  Think about it: for the first time in nearly forty years she's had a few months off, pottering round her garden with Alan Bradley, having a nice relaxing snooze in front of Homes Under The Hammer.  Finally she got the call to return to the set, and she exasperatedly agreed to appear in one scene so long as it was all done by lunchtime so she could get home in time for Countdown.  That must be the explanation for why Audrey's triumphant return involved her letting herself in the back door, shouting "I'm selling the hairdresser's flat and Claudia and Maria are selling the salon and it's all agreed bye" and then walking straight out the front door with a cursory "tell Gail I dropped in" chucked over her shoulder.  I bet that's her own coat; she didn't even bother taking it off for filming.


So yes, thanks to Abi Franklin, Girl Detective, everyone knows that Ray plans on demolishing the brewery and the posh side of the Street to build his skyscraper.  They'd have all found out soon enough though because he was literally showing investors round the site.  He also unveiled a rubbish model, which delighted me; you can't be a truly evil property developer on telly until you whip out a rubbish architectural model.  I'm only disappointed he hasn't stuck it in the middle of the Street and pointed out where Maxine's Bench will be replaced by a Frankie & Benny's while cackling wildly.  Everyone was deeply shocked, with line of the week going to Sally, who broke it down for the three people in the audience who hadn't quite grasped what was going on:


Roy, inevitably, turned up to fight the plans.  Maybe he should check for bats like he did when Victoria Court was built; although when he tried that all the bats were killed and he was pushed in a canal by Tony Gordon, so he probably thought better of it.  Roy delivered an impassioned speech about soulless developers building tiny identikit shoeboxes, each one indistinguishable from its neighbour, which was well-intentioned I'm sure but slightly undercut by the row of terraced houses right behind him.  We all remember the old Corrie titles, with row upon row of identical back-to-backs stretching into the distance.


The "Rebel Alliance" has now clung to the idea that the suffragettes used to meet in the brewery as a way of getting it listed and foiling Ray's plans.  I'm not sure how I feel about the writers implying Emmeline Pankhurst spent her evenings getting lashed in between powerful speeches.  Is that historically accurate?  I'm sure we'll find out exactly what happens when this plot climaxes on, oooh, about Wednesday.


Sam's the Man.  Sam turned up to Oliver's memorial in the community gardens, because of course he did; he is wonderful and precocious and I want to adopt him immediately.  I know Leanne is wracked with grief but it's very hard to sympathise with her when she's being beastly to Sam; he's the most adorable moppet to hit the programme since Simon used to run around hugging his rabbit, and I can think of no higher compliment.  (Incidentally I will not be giving his sudden friendship with Shona the oxygen of publicity because I can see where it's heading and I do not approve).  Sam stood and watched the service from across the Street then, just to make him even more loveable, he did this:


My non-existent ovaries just about exploded at that point and I began Googling surrogacy services.  Fortunately Sam then read out a poem he'd written; nothing reminds you that it's not bad being childless quite like having to listen to kids reading out their poetry while you pull a politely interested face. Now Leanne and Nicky are splitting up he can move into Victoria Court with his dad and Natasha and everyone will be happy.  Well, I say they can move into Victoria Court; despite Leanne being the one to break up the relationship, and Nicky paying all the bills, she doesn't seem to be in any rush to move out, and I have a feeling she thinks it's him who should be leaving.  Good luck with that.

It's the sixtieth anniversary next week and there'll be a special Five Things to celebrate on Wednesday.  It'll probably be quite warm and fuzzy but don't worry I'm sure I'll find something rude to write next Saturday.  Suggestions are welcome via Twitter @merseytart.







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12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Considering her fragile state burying Oliver.I could understand Leanne's feelings seeing Sam intrude[yes intrude]on Oliver's funeral as I also thought 'What is Sam doing there?'
Leanne isn't the only one struggling with Oliver's death,his father Steve [who suffers from depression]is too,so having Sam there a reminder that Oliver will never reach his age and older would be hard on him too.
Nick didn't consider neither Leanne's or Steve's grief while he spent time with Sam at Oliver's funeral and frankly I'm disappointed that he didn't call Natasha to find out what she's up to as I believe she knew where Sam was.

Anonymous said...

Oh Scott, as much as I love your articles I feel the exact opposite to you about Sam. When he turned up at the memorial I just thought go away you annoying child you are going to spoil the whole thing for Leanne and Steve.

Humpty Dumpty said...

The memorial service was held on public land so, to be fair, half the kids in Weatherfield could have been gawping through the railings. However, it was just a very clunky plot device to split Leanne and Nick up. Eventually, perhaps Leanne will learn to love Sam, who will undergo a complete personality change and become quite ordinary. Maybe the writers are trying Sam out to see if he will be loved by fans.

Anonymous said...

Humpty Dumpty

Well the actor playing Sam has already won Best Newcomer at the Digital Spy Awards, so clearly many fans love him

Chris h said...

Hes a funny looking kid, and seems too big for his boots, looks like spencer from phoenix nights

CK said...

I thought that one juror was Chesney at first!

Anonymous said...

First. The writers totally screwed up the Trial of Yasmeen if they were planning on having her found innocent. What they SHOULD have done was have Elaine let slip that she knows Geoff's tricks so we'll because she's still Married to him. That she never got divorced because that would mean having contact with Geoff again. That is what would Definitely get Geoff throw in Prison. Biggomy. Since Yasmeen is the second woman he's married a fleeced while STILL married to Elaine. If the writers wanna save face and not end this storyline like they do with all villainous storyline's with them dying in say " Fire, cement, water, head bashing, etc." Corrie's done them all But they've NEVER put a real Villan in prison to pay for his crime's.

Anonymous said...

It hadn't occurred to me that Geoff is quite likely still married to Elaine. That would be a great pretext to get Yasmeen and her property away from him and get him tossed in jail regardless of whether he's judged for his behaviour.

Sharon boothroyd said...

Scott, Tony Maudsley played camp Kenneth in Benidorm, and yes, he was an absolute hoot.
Maybe the part of a sober funeral director appealed to Tony because of the contrast?
George is certainly very different - I can't see him waltzing into The Rovers in one of Kenneth's famous tight t- shirts!
It was nice to see Audrey-even it was just for 2 mins!
I expect it's the last we've seen of Evelyn's Arthur-a pity, as they've got rid of a really good actor there.
Leeanne declared she was moving out of the Victoria court flat-but where to? Surely she's not going to squash in with Imran, Toyah and co?
Maybe there's a spare room going begging at The Rovers, yet I'd have thought Jenny, with her running it as a B&B, would want non- paying guests Carla and Peter out.
On a final note, I found it difficult to believe that Steve would go to his own son's funeral in pair of tatty, baggy jeans.
Couldn't Tracy have found him a pair of clean, decent trousers?

Unknown said...

Sam is brilliant. I think another DNA test is necessary.

Louby said...

I like your Elaine theory. Do we know what happened to wife #2? Did he say that she was dead too? Perhaps she's still alive too.

I get what you're saying about villains like Phelan, Tony Gordon, John Stape etc, but there are a few who did go to prison, including Rob Donovan and Nathan. Also Tracy, who had to be let off when they wanted to bring her back!

That would be a good blog post on its own.

Anonymous said...

Why wasn't he at school though? How did he get there? Did no one noticed he was missing? Those are questions I'd be asking.
I posted on here after his debut that I wasn't impressed by him, but got shot down by people saying he's a breath of fresh air.
He's still not won me over

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