A headcount of current gangsters on t'cobbles:
1. Gansta Gary - the ginger one.
2. Gay Gangsta Mick - the comedy one.
3. Rotten Ray - not technically a gangster but with full gangsta potential.
4. Stupid Scott - again not really a gangster, but a bad 'un with a short shelf life.
I make that a full Eastenders of gangsters. As Merseytart pointed out, there's only Craig as defence against this four-man crime-wave (I presume D.S. McKinnon has retired to somewhere warm and has set herself up, Death In Paradise-style, as the local bobby) and I'm now hoping for a spin-off where Craig on his Segway solves crimes in a cosy, Heartbeat kind of way.
ANYWAY, Todd is peeing in a bucket and reading Danielle Steele in the attic. Sounds like a great life to me, to be honest. No work, free food, socially distanced from the Corona. Mary's been hearing some noises and decides it's the ghost of Pat Phelan (it's all the gangster vibes) and enlists Billy to help exorcise him with a bucket of (holy) water. "Spirit, reveal thyself!" yells Mary and Todd trots down the stairs with that trad. Todd smug look on his mush. Which is soon wiped off as Billy tears a strip or three off Todd, but returns when Billy walks in on, and gets upset about, the Toddster's return. This is the Todd we know and love, causing trouble between people for no reason, rather than tangling with gangsters.
Whilst this is going on, Mick's Geordie hubby turns up to threaten Tim as he thinks he's having an affair with Mick, for convoluted reasons. Tim hides behind Eileen as she makes up a story about a present left in a cab. And finally Eileen tells Mick to sod off and leave Todd alone. If you want something done, get a middle-aged woman to do it.
Gary tells Ray that he will need him to convince the residents to sell up. He agrees: "It's like Deliverance without the banjos 'round here." and he has got to get David to sell up. I do wonder if the skyscraper storyline isn't so much a plot (we all know it won't happen, probably around 8th December) as a metaphor - firstly for the way Manchester's built environment has changed so rapidly over the last 20 years and secondly for the old Corrie set being flattened for development. Or maybe not a metaphor so much as a nod to?
The lovely Aaron comes around and David has a very long moan about Shona's behaviour. Unfortunately, we, and Shona, won't be seeing much more of Aaron as he is reducing his hours with Ms Ramsay. They have an honest chat and it seems like things are getting better until she mentions him sleeping with Josh. David points out that it wasn't "sleeping with", he was raped; he then does a Leanne-style storming out. They later make up but is anyone else hoping that Julia Goulding decides to have another child and Shona has to go away again, coming back cured?
The Battersby-Brown-Winters need some more washing up liquid and Bernie can't pay her part of the rent so Gemma throws a fit and demands everyone get a proper job. Chesney asks Kirk for a job in packing at the factory. I realise that in the past, a factory would employ a large percentage of local people and I also realise that there are only so many sets to use, but you do wonder how many more people Underworld can employ. Fiz as a receptionist? Evelyn as tea-lady? Imran as underwear model? Anyway this is all moot because Chesney can't take the job - he has to be a baby-papa as Gemma is back at t'pub.
Oh, and Steve's off to Germany to see Dr Schmitts to convince him to take his and Leanne's side, because it's not about science or medicine but taking sides, apparently.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License
All original work on Coronation Street Blog is covered by a Creative Commons License
4 comments:
I sometimes think I am watching a spoof soap like Acorn Antiques. Mary over reacting (and over acting) about the ‘ghost’ in the attic, an exorcism involving blessing a bucket of water, gun toting gangster married to another fella and expecting a child via a surrogate,Bernie talking about not needing washing up liquid because the dogs licked the plates clean and bursting for waz, Kirk just being his usual moronically stupid self to name but a few things. I do wonder if the writers, directors and producers actually sit down at home and watch it as we see it because if they did they would realise how flipping awful it is at times.
How ridiculous was it when supposedly murderous gangster Mick just backed down after a stern talking-to from Eileen?
I’d like to see Gay Gangsta Mick and his husband back as a comedy duo.
That really isn't the idea of a gangsta, surely?
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