By Stephen Leach, who is in Twitter @SirTerenceBoot - read all of Stephen Leach's guest blogs here.
I love a good Corrie hold-up. Don’t you? There’s never long to wait until the next one; it seems like only yesterday that Pat Phelan was crashing Michelle and Robert’s wedding with a pistol, or when that bearded nonentity who owed Gary Windass money was drunkenly waving a shotgun around the Rovers.
But Monday’s effort was a farce worthy of Sheridan. I was particularly tickled by Scott wearing a mask but not even bothering to disguise his voice at all; it was almost as funny as the bust-up Johnny and Scott had in a corner of the set where they’d clearly turned off all the lights and thrown a tarpaulin across the windows to make it look all gloomy and grim.
As usual, Craig disregarded all his training and regulations to be the UK’s worst policeman and charged on his own into the Bistro so he could promptly get shot. Ah, well, he’ll live. You’d think a few residents would have at least come out to see the ambulance take him away – Sally and Tim, perhaps, or even Daniel – but nah. Someone getting shot in Weatherfield is such a regular and unexciting event of late that even his mother didn’t seem that surprised by the news. It’s just something you have to tick off your list eventually if you’re going to live on t’Street for more than five years, alongside having an affair, at least one unplanned pregnancy, finding out you’ve got a secret sibling/parent/child (delete as appropriate), and of course losing a baby. Which brings us neatly onto Leanne.
When will this storyline end. That’s all I want for Christmas now: for this sodding plot to just be over with. Think of all the stories that burned out in an instant – Jim returning with Hannah/Katie, Sean being homeless, that time Craig met his dad in prison and nothing really came of it. But still, on the Oliver storyline plods, without an iota of progress. The revelation that Nick had a secret son threatened to drive a wedge between them, but she’s so single-minded that it barely registered. “That doctor hates me!” complained Leanne for the fourth or fifth time, neglecting to consider that snarling in people’s faces might not be the optimal way to get people to feel positively about you. Can we please – please?! – be done with it already?
So what’s Arthur’s secret, then? We all know there’s one. My bet’s a secret wife who’s dying of cancer. That, or he’s having an affair with his dog. What? Corrie hasn’t tackled bestiality yet. Could be interesting. I quite like the actor, though – hope he sticks around. Though I can’t pretend I’m not looking forward to the inevitable tongue-lashing Evelyn will give him when we find out whatever it is he’s hiding.
At least it’s only a few weeks until Yasmeen’s trial happens. I’m looking forward to it, but only because I’m hoping it means Paula will show her face again (where’s she gotten to, exactly?). Though with the way this year’s been going so far, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her get sent down for life. Cross your fingers, Corrie viewers. It’s the 60th anniversary in December and they’ve got to give us something.
By Stephen Leach, who is in Twitter @SirTerenceBoot - read all of Stephen Leach's guest blogs here.
Glenda Young
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