The repercussions from Brian's death rippled through the Street. Kevin wondered what would happen to his job, as Mike not-so-subtly asked if the garage was going up for sale. Percy blamed the murder on "boogie woogie" and "acid drop" music, saying people didn't get stabbed coming out of George Formby concerts (that's right Percy, they got doodlebugs dropped on their head instead). But mainly it was a lot of sobbing as Gail and Ivy went to pieces. Gail finally got some steel and decided to bury Brian in a non-Catholic ceremony, seemingly just to wind Ivy up. Ivy responded by telling her Brian wouldn't be dead if Gail hadn't driven him away, so it's good that everyone is keeping their emotions in check. In the middle of these powerful affecting scenes Nicky Tilsley turned up and stank the screen out with his wooden performance. I never thought I'd look forward to Adam Rickitt's arrival. Elsewhere, Sandra Stubbs left the show to escape the eye of the social worker, to overwhelming indifference from the viewing public, Alec went off on his Middle East tour even though he was low on cod liver oil tablets, and Alan sleazed round Dawn Prescott.
TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 27th February and 1st March 1989
It was Brian's distinctly non-Catholic funeral, which lead to recriminations, upsets, and most importantly, Audrey in a fantastic beret. Ivy and Gail rowed at the funeral tea, because of course they did, though after a heart-to-heart with her priest Mrs Brennan made up with Gail and promised to always be nice from now on. HA! Incidentally, no-one seems even slightly bothered by the circumstances of Brian's death, with the arrest of his assailant covered in a line of dialogue and the woman he was feeling up barely getting a mention. Alan got closer to Dawn, by which I mean every time she turned round he tried to put his hand up her blouse. He arranged an overnight trip to Preston, and tried to get Dawn to go with him; he sorted out a lunch with both his employees, then told Martin to get lost so he could have her alone. Because it's the Eighties, Dawn tolerated all this clearly creepy and disturbing behaviour with polite negatives and avoidance, until, as the shop closed, he finally went too far. Drunk on cheap whiskey Alan tried to rape Dawn because apparently she'd been leading him on. Dawn elbowed him in the guts and legged it, leaving him sprawled on the shop floor, wallowing in his repulsiveness.
WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 6th and 8th March 1989
Gail doesn't hang about, does she? Yesterday she was shoving all Brian's clothes into binbags and in today's episodes she was flogging the garage to a man from the motor trade. Sally Webster, of course, prodded the largely comatose Kevin into trying to make a counter-bid, but he couldn't raise the money in time. Mavis finally held her long talked about dinner party for guest of honour Mr Bronson from Grange Hill (a couple of days ago we got Mrs Keele the headmistress as Sandra's social worker, making me hope we'll get Zammo in the Rovers by the end of the week). Mr Bronson (I believe he had a character name, but let's face it, he's Mr Bronson) was far more interested in flirting with Emily Bishop, leading to Mavis going off in a strop for wasting her money on ten pound crystal glasses. Dawn returned to the shop with a witness just in case Alan tried any funny business; she then left the witness outside while she went in the office with him on her own. He dismissed her claims of sexual harassment on the grounds that nobody would believe her and anyway she was asking for it, so Dawn went to the Kabin and filled in a disbelieving Rita. She might have kicked her out without taking in a single word if Dawn hadn't mentioned the correspondence addressed to Len Fairclough. Next thing you know, Rita's rooting around in drawers and discovering mortgage details in her dead husband's name...
THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 13th and 15th March 1989
After weeks of build up, the Alan Bradley storyline finally reached its climax, as Rita discovered her photocopied deeds in the biscuit tin. She foolishly confronted Alan, rather than calling the police, and while he tried to get out of it at first, he finally lost his rag and started attacking her. Martin and Jenny arrived home just in time to find him holding a cushion over her face. Alan legged it, and spent the next day loitering in the streets round the back of Granada Studios. The police found his car, so he called Jenny - who refused to believe her dad wanted to hurt Rita, despite, you know, seeing him holding a cushion over her face - and asked her to bring his passport. It all rather overshadowed the most important part of the show, which was Jenny Bradley dancing to Bananarama's Love in the First Degree while wearing a puffball skirt. Percy Sugden reached new levels of irritation - never mind Alan, this is a man I'd have liked to see crushed under the wheels of a tram. He badgered the police for info, and interfered with Emily's burgeoning friendship with Mr Bronson. Actually he may have had a point on that last one as Mr Bronson said all his lines in a tiny half whisper that was pretty terrifying. Bet interviewed candidates for Gloria's job, rejecting Mandy Jordache from Brookside and instead picking the marvellous Michelle Holmes as Tina. Jack and Betty were disbelieving, as they didn't think Bet would dare employ an attractive young woman who'd overshadow her, retrospectively burning poor Gloria in the process.
Emily was on a hot date with Mr Bronson and sent Percy out for the evening. This obviously meant that the interfering old buzzard came home early and insisted on doing his needlework in the parlour. Unsurprisingly she was furious about this third wheel and asked Mr Sugden to find new lodgings. Let's hope they're in Tasmania. New barmaid Tina asked if Jack was "a bit thick" because he kept short-changing customers. When Bet checked the till, she discovered it was short, but her quiet word with Ducky went wrong and he stormed out in a huff promising to never darken the Rovers' doors again. Jenny showed incredible tact by telling Rita about Alan's phone call and asking her advice. Rita, to her credit, didn't smack her round the face and call her an ungrateful witch. Jenny finally roped Martin into driving her to her rendezvous with Alan at Gatley railway station, telling him she "needed a car"; apparently she doesn't know how trains work. The police were following Martin, though, and soon Alan was being handcuffed and bellowing he didn't want anything more to do with Jenny because she was a traitor. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.
If you'd like to discuss the good old days of 1980s Corrie when nothing awful happened, even though we've just had a month of murder, attempted murder, sexual assault, fraud and domestic violence, please contact the author on Twitter @merseytart.
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