Five Things We Learned In Corrie This Week

Emma is a dog killer.  That's right, Emma, those dogs are staring at you and they are JUDGING.  Actually, that's not true at all.  Poor Emma did her absolute best for Eccles, taking her to the vet off her own back, agreeing to an operation that might have been pointless, and staying there the whole time to care for her, but that seems to have been ignored by the Barlows and she got all the blame.  Eccles had a tumour, and it wasn't Emma's fault; it wasn't like she was feeding her radioactive Pedigree Chum.  Of course we expect gratuitous nastiness from Tracy, but Amy seemed to blank Emma too, and Steve sent her home on her own with barely a thank you for her assistance.  Ken, meanwhile, while upset at the death of his dog, mainly seemed to be annoyed at Emma saddling him with a hefty vet bill.  Would you have been happier if she'd taken Eccles out back and crashed her head in with a spade, Ken?  No you wouldn't, so pay up and shut up.  Having said all that, we did come back from the adverts to find Emma tapping on the glass of an aquarium, which you must never do, so maybe she is an animal murderer after all.

Still, it was sad to say goodbye to Eccles, though given she was about a hundred and fifty we really shouldn't have been surprised.  I was annoyed we'd lost her just as I became aware of a showbiz feud.  I'd long wondered where Rover was all this time, and we saw him this week - but only in long shot, with no Eccles in sight:

In the close up, we saw Eccles, but no Rover:

Clearly the two dogs are massive divas and refused to be in the same shot together, like Juliana Margulies and Archie Panjabi on The Good Wife.  You only ever find out about these things after the fact, don't you?  I'm picturing Rover smugly watching Eccles leave the studio the last time, a Bonio dangling from his lips, revelling in the fact that he was now quite literally the Top Dog on set. 

Bus drivers aren't paid to care.  In these pandemic times, we're encouraged to clap and cheer for all our key workers - those people who are keeping the country going in a crisis.  Not just nurses, but shop workers, delivery drivers, and so on.  Anyone who isn't sat at home in front of Netflix picking Twix out of their teeth basically.  I may however make an exception for bus drivers, or at least bus drivers on the Weatherfield Wayfarer, because they clearly couldn't give a toss.  That driver saw Gemma clamber on board with her massive pram then turn round and walk off the bus without them, and he thought "seems fair" and drove off.  If Chesney hadn't stopped them, would he have merrily headed to the depot and stuck the babies in Lost Property?

Still, at least it meant Chesney finally spotted that something wasn't right about the woman he supposedly shares his life with.  Rita had a chat with her - while dressed as Liza Minnelli, for some reason - and she finally went to Dr Gaddas for some help.  Once again, the surgery came up tops, as Gemma swanned in without an appointment and Dr Gaddas told her to take her time, there was no rush, she definitely didn't have KPIs that meant no appointment should take longer than four minutes like my surgery.  When the current healthcare crisis is all over I might transfer there.

Get that tenancy in writing.  It's weird to think that only a couple of months ago, the residents of the hairdresser flat were Maria and Liam, Bethany and Emma, and now only one of those people still lives there, and she doesn't seem that keen on it.  Emma tried to kick Seb out this week, but he pointed out he'd paid a month's rent so he wasn't going anywhere.  I'd love to know what Audrey thinks of all this.  Does she not care who lives there so long as they pay the rent?  There could be fifty Polish immigrants sharing bunk beds in every room and she'd only notice if she didn't get six hundred quid in her bank one month.  It looks like Emma and Seb are stuck together for a while longer, though I hope they don't reconcile; in fact, I hope things get even worse, and it descends into a War of the Roses situation where Seb pees on the fish and Emma tries to drop a chandelier on his head.

Remember the children.  Friday's episode ended with a shocking cliffhanger: yes, Oliver is still in this programme!  Oh, and also he's sick or something.  It was difficult to get too concerned about a kid who vanishes for months on end - it's a bit like being asked to worry about Beth's cat, or one of those waiters in the Bistro who don't talk, or Harry Platt.  Where is Harry, by the way?  Is he on the honeymoon with Adam and Sarah-Lou?  Is he still at number eight?  Has Gail stuck him under the stairs like his namesake Harry Potter, occasionally slipping him a bread crust and a glass of tap water to keep him going?  Anyway Oliver collapsed, and Summer sat there staring at him until Steve walked in.  It's not a great week for Summer really, as she not only dealt with a comatose child, but she also saw Kelly waltz in and nick Asha off her as a friend.  Bet she wishes she'd stayed in the plot cupboard herself.

Sisters are doing it for the planet.  Is it realistic that Nina, Mary, Evelyn and Toyah would bond over a mutual passion for environmentalism?  No.  Is it delightful that Nina, Mary, Evelyn and Toyah are all pals now?  Absolutely.  The only bad point of this plotline was we didn't see them gaffer taping themselves to the head of Environmental Services; I'd have loved to have heard whatever wacky protest chant Mary came up with.  I hope they continue to cause havoc across Weatherfield fighting the good fight, especially if Evelyn carries on wearing that natty beret.  At the very least they can all go to the Rovers and get hammered and do karaoke together.

In these trying times, I can only urge you to follow Norris's advice, and stay at home and polish your helmet.  It's certainly what I've been doing the last few weeks.  Pictures can be obtained by sending a DM on Twitter @merseytart.

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