Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by Tony Prescott
It’s Norris’ 71st Birthday and he’s celebrating with a quickly-extinguished sparkler at Roy’s. It’s also the day for the grand-opening of the newsagents as Owen says it’ll be ready by lunch time. Rita is concerned with how she’ll feel after entering the shop again after the tram crash. Emily empathizes with her, but Mary is cold to Rita’s concerns and is more focused on this being “Norris’s Special Day.” When the Kabin is revealed, only to reveal that the Kabin is no longer “The Kabin.” It is now “Norris’s News.” A surprise from Mary that Norris is actually ecstatic about!
Kylie is making hell of Gail’s life – as expected. Eating her egg custards and all. Kylie’s ready for her glittering new career at “David’s” salon. It seems that David told a porkie about owning the salon. This can’t go well. Meanwhile, at the salon, Audrey’s gossiping about her grandson’s new man. Rita figures that David and Kylie might be made for each other. I figure she might be right. Rita wants to know about Claudia, so Audrey gives her a ring. David arrives at the salon and tells Audrey about Kylie’s potential as a nail technician trainee. Audrey quickly vetoes this idea as it’s her salon. David is to look a fool (yet again) as Kylie slaps him when she realizes that he lied about owning the salon and storms out. Trouble in paradise already?
Later, in the Rovers Claudia arrives to gossip with Rita and Audrey. Rita asks how dating Mark has been going. Claudia says it’s going great, only he travels a lot. Audrey alludes to the fact that he might be cheating on her. Claudia gets her back by alluding to Lewis. Claudia figures that since she’s got a date, Audrey can fit her in at her salon. At the salon, David gets angry about Audrey not hiring Kylie and Audrey bends saying she’ll think about it. Mrs. Hargreaves's seems to have nodded off under the dryer. Soon, it’s discovered that she is indeed asleep – forever. Mrs. Hargreaves has passed away under the dryer in Audrey’s salon.
Graeme and Tina are kicking out of their posh Victoria Court flat and back to the shop flat. Tina is still worried about Xin. Graeme suggest they set her up with Kirk so she can get married and stay in the country. Who’s Kirk? (Just kidding…just haven’t seen much of him in a while). Later, when Kylie hears about Xin’s problem with immigration she comes up with pound signs. She figures that David can marry Xin for the two thousand pounds she can get for her grandmother’s antique brooch. Kylie figure David “owes” her this. Tina hears about Kylie and David’s “proposal” and immediately shuts it down. Figuring that getting Xin married is the only way to keep her in the country, Tina quickly swaps David for Graeme. Yes, she’s volunteer her own boyfriend to be married in an immigration scam. Much to Graeme’s distaste.
At the Webster’s, Sophie is cleaning up a storm preparing for Sian’s return.
Written by Julie Jones, directed by Tony Prescott
At the salon, they decide to take Mrs. Hargreaves's curlers out while Emily has a sit down. Audrey and crew head down to the pub for some well needed drinks. Mrs. Hargreaves's death has really hit Audrey. She realizes she needs to take advantage of the time she has left. Also, she’s reminded by Mark that her family would have to sell her salon to pay the taxes if she passed away. Therefore, Audrey makes a quick decision to sign the salon over to David and live her life out. Later, David and Kylie rejoice in the fact that they’ll inherit the salon. Kylie asks how much he thinks it’s worth – to which David has no idea. But likes how Kylie sounds. Uh-oh. Buh-bye Audrey’s!
At Norris’s News, Rita is having trouble being in the newsagents again and Mary is overdoing it with customer service. After a quick altercation with an insensitive Norris-centric Mary and Norris, Rita storms out saying she doesn’t have to take this anymore. Later, Emily tries to tell Norris and Mary that Rita lost everything in that tram crash and they should be a bit more sensitive. Norris realizes the error of his ways.
Later, when Xin leaves, Graeme tells Tina about his distaste for the fact that she’s volunteered him for a crime and married him off to her friend. Graeme rarely puts his foot down, let’s hope he does this time. Later, at Tina and Graeme’s flat Xin brings over all the information they’ll need. Graeme realizes that they’ll have to tell a LOT of lies. Xin sees Graeme’s face and realizes it all must be too much to ask. Xin reminds him that if they’re found out that she’ll be deported and he’ll be sent to prison. Tina figures it won’t come to that. Hasn’t she learned anything after what happened to her father when he tried to scam the system?!
Maria has to deal with Frank swarming around Underworld and being uncomfortable after he harassed her. Frank realizes this and makes note of it to Carla. Frank tells Carla that he doesn’t think it’s a good business relationship if Maria feels uncomfortable around him and that perhaps they shouldn’t do the deal. After all of that?! Carla is stuck between a rock and a hard place, as is Maria. Later, Carla tells Maria about what Frank told her. Carla tells Maria to take some time off, pay included, until the deal with Frank is done. Maria shakes her head at all that has transpired.
Sophie is glad to have Sian and wants to hear all about her trip. She finds that Sian had a great time without her and even met this cool funny girl named Chloe to which Sophie does a double-take. Sian tells Sophie that she’s not stopping tonight, despite her efforts, since she’s going back to her mum’s. She and her mum got really close on holiday and Sian’s glad for it. Sophie, however is feeling neglected.
- Mary to Norris about the sparkler: “Every man deserves a banger on his birthday.”
- Sean’s carrot and coriander soup sounded fab! Doesn’t anyone else get sick of bacon butties?! Just me? Okay.
- Rita to Audrey: “You can’t serve lukewarm gossip in a hair salon.” Indeed!
- Audrey to David: “This is a small salon, and putting it kindly, Kylie has a big personality.”
- Audrey to Kylie: “This place is called ‘Audrey’s’ for a reason sweetheart.”
- Claudia “No, I’m not washing my hair tonight. Or anyone else’s.”
- Sophie to Rosie: “I feel like every day has been wasted time and like, my life’s been stalled until we [her and Sian] get back together. Do you ever feel like that when Jason’s not around?” Rosie: “No. Is mum about?”
- Mrs. Hargreaves’s flirting with David! Ha-ha.
- Norris when opening the Kabin: “For the last 11 years, each dawn has found me arisen.” Janice: “Too much information!”
- Norris, on Mary’s over-exuberance towards customer service: “Service with a smile is something to aspire to, but with you it can be borderline overbearing. We’re not Americans.”
- Mary towards Rita: “I know I’ve upset you. Old people often have trouble dealing with change.” Rita: “I beg your pardon?”
- Carla’s opinion Sean’s soup-in-a-cup: “I have not given it much thought, having a life and all.” So, according to Carla
Connor Gordon Conner, if you eat soup, you don’t have a life. Well, excuse my lifeless lunch.
- Poor Maria trying to deal with nasty Frank and working at Underworld after the harassment. And Carla should be feeling a bit more contrite seeing as she basically pimped Maria out. Yeah, I said that and I’ll stand by it. Maria should quit Underworld ASAP and get a nice hair dresser job off the street. Perhaps that posh salon that sacked David ages ago?
- Mary tried to book Bill Oddie for the newsagents re-opening?! Seriously? Oh, boy!
- Kylie. Kylie. Kylie. Although I’m glad I didn’t have to endure Becky vs. Tracy again this episode.
- Why are Xin and Kylie friendly in Roy’s? Honestly.
- Rosie walking on the white carpeting with muddy shoes. Who (past the age of 6 and 6 beers) does that?!
- It feels as though Graeme’s turned into a younger Steve McDonald here. Doing anything – illegal or not – for his woman, then humming and hawing about it.