Cosy crimes and gritty sagas by Corrie Blog editor Glenda, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Wednesday 15 July 2020

The lockdown lives of Weatherfield residents

Guest blog post written by Ben who is on Twitter @IslandNiles Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!  


As everyone has surely noticed, Coronation Street has resumed filming (hurrah!) and we’re now seeing some of the new scenes on screen. Thankfully the new stuff has been SEAMLESSLY integrated and you’d never know that some parts of the episodes were picked up three months later *Harry Hill style look to camera*. I’m led to believe that very soon, we’ll have a time jump – suddenly, coronavirus will exist in Weatherfield, with all the changes to people’s lives that living through a pandemic entails.

One thing that saddens me a bit, though, is that we (presumably) won’t see how some of our favourites might have fared during the early stages of the crisis, when we were all locked down. But, not to worry, for I have imagined how some of them might have coped (with no regard for the current storylines).

Sally:
Has a Pinterest board made up of Farrow & Ball’s Natural History Museum range and William Morris wallpaper, and has big plans for the house when the shops reopen . Is relieved that the Joules website continues to take online orders. Sick of telling Tim to put on trousers.

Beth and Kirk:
Having ‘special time’ twice a day, sometimes making use of the Buzzer the Bee costume.

Johnny and Jenny:
Running the Monday night pub quiz via Zoom. Everyone has to rejoin after 40 minutes because Johnny refuses to pay for a premium account.

Adam:
Has annoyingly good hair despite everywhere being closed. Hasn’t put on any lockdown pounds.

Ken:
Trying once again to write the Great British Novel, the definitely-not-autobiographical tale of an academic with lofty ambitions whom fate conspires to trap in a backstreet terrace for his whole life.

Geoff:
Refuses to wear a mask as he won’t be told what to do. Thinks the whole thing is overblown and suspects Bill Gates might be involved. Having vivid lockdown dreams in which mask-wearing neighbours taunt him with chants of “Jiggle it, Geoff”.

The Baileys:
Michael: Has had an idea for a face mask that changes colour to match your state of mind. Has tried it on James but it seems to be stuck on ‘moody’. 
Edison: will finally get around to finishing off those door frames and banisters… tomorrow.

Steve:
After a few days of being trapped in the house, has quietly removed all heavy ornaments from display and hidden them from Tracy.

Rita:
Has learned to use FaceTime and is keeping in touch with Mavis. The whole thing is a picnic compared to the war and also the time she was buried under sweets for a week after the tram crash.

Eileen:
Running a track and trace system just to establish exactly who lives in her house. Endures Mary’s nightly one-woman Gilbert and Sullivan operettas and doesn’t ask why Mary already owns all the appropriate costumes.

Daniel:
Has cultivated a ‘cry for help’ beard. Attends to Bertie, flirts mildly with Nicky over WhatsApp, feels guilty and spends the next few hours watching Sinead’s deathbed videos. Rinse and repeat.

Fiz, Tyrone and family:
Return of the home-schooling nightmare. Constant terror among everyone that Hope will burn them all in their beds.

Gail:
Constantly reminding David about the importance of family, and reminiscing with her wedding album…s. Claims lockdown isn’t much of a hardship as she was always stuck in that ‘box bedroom’ anyway.

Billy and Paul:
Apart from when helping at the food bank, haven’t left the bedroom since lockdown began.

Kevin:
With the garage closed, has resurrected Kev the Crank and is now raking in way more money from VoggleVids ad revenue than he ever did fixing cars.

Sean:
Spends his day sitting at the window and watching for people breaking the lockdown rules. Sometimes sees Nick going out for a second run and makes that face. You know the one. That Sean face.

Roy and Nina:
Jigsaws, model trains, death metal, sewing. God-tier lockdown companions.

Guest blog post written by Ben who is on Twitter @IslandNiles Fancy writing a guest blog post for us? All details here!  


Glenda Young

Twitter: @Flaming_Nora
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3 comments:

Stephen Leach said...

Brilliant!

Rapunzel said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

When I saw Gail, I thought...better to be locked in a house than a people carrier heading for the cannal. lol

GRITTY SAGAS BY CORRIE BLOG EDITOR GLENDA YOUNG, PUBLISHED BY HEADLINE. CLICK PIC BELOW!

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