Let's check in on the street on this bluest of blue Mondays, shall we?
We start off with some undertaker humour from Todd as he asks Aggie not to send any more his way as Shuttleworth's is backed up. Little does he know that his step daughter (?) might be going that way herself (we know what happened to the last diabetic young lady on the show) as she lies on the floor, trapped in Mesther's putative nursery, just as we've been trapped in this storyline for 23 years. It doesn't seem to meet health and safety standards if a nursery's windows don't open, no? Malignant Mike refuses to let her out, lies to Aaron when he rocks up, and actually feeds Summer sugar rather than refill her insulin pump. Fortunately, Esther returns and they take Summer to Kate Oates Memorial but lie about her name and next of kin. Aggie spots them and lets Billy know but his and Aaron's niceness gets nowhere with the creepy Christians, it needs Todd's conniving-ness (divide and rule) to get Esther to turn on Mike and confess. Anyway Summer is OK and will live to fight yet another boring storyline, no doubt.
Hope's tape (geddit) starts to snarl, and bing a child of the digital age, she doesn't know the old biro trick, so throws a patented meltdown until Ty fixes it and then he and Fiz find out what's really on the tape, not Ariane Grande and George Ezra (I'm spitballing here; I've no idea what pre-teens are into) from Sam but a study guide on Little Women from John Stape. Fizrone should be pleased that Hope is so studious! Fiz is flabbergasted hearing John's' voice again (I do hope Graeme Hawley was paid for this) but she sits down and talks to her daughter about her bio-dad and they go through some of his stuff, which for no apparent reason has been at number 5. Chemma have got 5 kids, I'm sure they wouldn't have room to store the belongings of a dead murderer. Also, I'm pretty sure when the Stapester was around (2007-2011), CDs and mp3s were available, he wouldn't have had to use 1980s technology.
In other news, Daisy receives some more flowers from DJ Stalker and lies to Daniel about it, saying they're from a florist for the wedding. Daise, your fiance's step-sister literally runs a flower shop, this is a bad lie. I'm not sure why she's bothering - these two have split up and got back together 400 times, one more row doesn't mean they won't get wed in May.
And finally, Stephen helps Rita take some stuff to the charity shop and our Reet, well known excellent judge of character where men are concerned, counsels Jenny to tap that ass (I paraphrase). Mr Reid would be well advised to watch out for the trams on north shore.
Rachel Stevenson - on twitter
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