Gritty sagas by Corrie blog editor Glenda Young, published by Headline. Click pic below!

Monday, 26 May 2008

Coronation Street Weekly Update, May 26 2008

Bonjour mes amis et petite whatnots and welcome to another of ze weekly updates. The next two week’s worth of updates will be brought to you by First Officer Sir John Dean (wearing his stripe for bravery in action outstanding in the field). I’ve left him some biscuits and showed him where the kettle is so I hope he’ll be comfortable on the cushions in the weekly update office over the next two weeks. But for now it’s still me and so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

By eck, we saw Eccles this week! And while I don’t want to cast aspersions, because he’s only a little dog and everything, his reappearance did coincide with the Barlow’s bathroom being flooded. Had Eccles done a whoopsie in the WC and caused the water to flood through the ceiling to the kitchen below? Ken tried to catch the water in the kettle, panicked a bit and called Roger the plumber while Deirdre and Eccles French-kissed. I only wish I was making that last bit up. And that’s not all. Blanche was in the bathroom with a damp Jonny Weismuller by all accounts as Ken grappled with his stopcock. You can listen to him here. Oh, it’s been all go in that house this week. When Roger the plumber sorts the pipes out, Deirdre and Ken decide to go the whole hog and have a new bathroom installed. Roger provides them with quotes, “I wandered lonely as a cloud,” that sort of thing while Blanche makes bitter with the caustic remarks about the disappointment in a cardigan that’s her son-in-law and calls Ken “the poor man’s Melvyn Bragg.” Ooh, she’s good is that Blanche (as written by Martin Sterling).

There’s more house horror as Sally and Claire fall out over the house swap. Claire tells Norris she thinks Sally’s house is a slum (a slum!), news which Norris is only too pleased to pass on to Mrs Webster and the next thing you know, the house swap’s off. Then it’s back on after Ashley and Kevin make a manly decision. Which is not bad considering the two fellas didn’t even know they wanted to move home this time last week. Claire then decides they need to get an estate agent involved, a couple called the Armstrongs come around and make all the right noises about putting in an offer and then they flee in fear of the latest calamity to befall the cobbles.

Yes, the latest calamity to befall the cobbles came in the shape of Kenzie Judd, the coolest boy in Chesney’s year at school. Not only is Kenzie the reason why Kayleigh Morton won’t return Chesney’s crush but he’s also the ringleader of a terrible trio who ransack the Kabin, knock Norris to the floor and steal a hundred quid from the till. Norris is in shock and is whisked to the Rovers by Emily and Rita where he’s not backward in coming forward about who’s to blame for society’s ills. He reckons the fault lies in the parenting and pins the blame firmly on Gail, Deirdre and Ken. Meanwhile, Kayleigh keeps schutm about her mate Kenzie’s raid on the Kabin.

Steve’s not best pleased with his mum for dallying with Harry the bookie and over a game of darts in the pub, Steve and Dan throw insults at each other and arrows at the board to puncture any possible relationship between Dan’s dad and Steve’s mum. In an effort to make her marriage work and remind herself that she’s already get a fella, even if he is off paradiddling on the high seas, Liz gets one of her wedding pictures enlarged and framed. The photo’s touched up, the bloodstains taken off Vernon’s wedding jacket, his teeth are whitened, his hair darkened and Liz’s wrinkles disappear in the picture that now hangs on the wall in the back room of the pub. It’s such a scary sight that Steve takes to playing with bubble wrap to calm himself down.

Harry’s ex-missus Clarissa wants a new car from Harry but he’s not such a soft touch, just a tad squidgy and agrees to one of the Streetcars drivers being at her beck and call when she wants a lift around town. Steve complains to Harry that she had Lloyd waiting outside the Trafford Centre for hours and that the other drivers now call him Parker. “Yes, me lady,” says Lloyd when Clarissa tells him to drive.

Now then, just when it looked like Vera’s cladding was coming down, it’s seems like it’s staying put. This is news which fills Tyrone’s heart with glee but Molly’s less than impressed. Oh, and Paul Clayton left this week. He outstayed his welcome by about six months, according to, er, me.

Over at Gail’s house, we haven’t seen her smile so much since Brian was alive. First it was meeting up with her dad for the first time that was making her happy and this week Gail met Tina’s dad who put a smile on her face too. Tina lost her job in the Pound Shop this week but it was deathly boring anyway. As the girl said, it’s hard to keep the interest when you’re forever answering questions about how much things cost in a pound shop.

And Leanne starts work as an estate agent selling off Tony Gordon’s new flats in Victoria Court. They’re 20,000 square feet of luxurious loft living, apparently, with a lovely view over the viaduct and if you buy one on the east wing, you’ll not be downwind of the stench of kebabs.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were Chris Fewtrell, Peter Whalley, Mark Wadlow and Martin Sterling.

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