The Week In Classic Corrie

MONDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 27th and 29th June 1997

Zoe stayed at number 9 but Gary was deeply unimpressed by Judy's plan to take her baby.  He contacted Social Services and gave her thirty quid and told her to sling her hook.  He also made her write a goodbye note to Judy on the way out the door.  Alec bought a header shelf to hang over the bar from an old pub and got in Jean's ex-husband from dinnerladies to put it up.  Jack thought this was overstepping the line and demanded a "shareholders' meeting" to discuss it.  He told Vera that they could vote down any of Alec's suggestions because there were two of them and only one of him.  Unfortunately Vera quite liked the shelf and voted for it, trumping Jack and making it all a bit of a waste of time.  The big story, of course, was at number 13.  Sally spotted Natalie and Kevin in the pub and suspected something was going on.  Bill told her not to be paranoid, and then Kev said he had a breakdown in Oldham and would be out late.  Chris said the breakdown was only down the road and she realised she was being taken for a mug.  Sally dropped the girls off with Deirdre and whizzed round to Natalie's house, where Kevin was in the arms of his fancy piece.  Sally hammered on the door and Natalie finally let her in.  She beat at Kevin, sobbing, and then drove home, with him in hot pursuit.  Back at the house Kevin told Sally it was basically her fault for leaving him alone while she cared for her stroke-addled mother and for ignoring him in favour of her small children because he is an appalling person.  Sally rightly threw his excuses in his face and then realised Kevin had slept with Natalie in their bed.  She was disgusted, and when he said he loved her, she told him to leave and she didn't want to see him any more.  He asked her who told her and listed Chris and Bill and Rita as suspects, making her feel like everyone in the Street knew but her.  It was heartbreaking stuff, with Sally Dynevor and Michael le Vell really acing it.  I'm going to miss the sweet little family they've been over the years.  Sally and Kev still have decades of drama ahead of them of course but it'll never be the same again.

TUESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 30th June and 2nd July 1997

Bill told Kevin to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness from Sally, but he persisted with the fantasy that it was somehow her fault he had an affair because she left him alone, like he was a dog locked in a kitchen with a steak.  If he'd blamed Sally's habit of wearing double denim I might have more sympathy.  Sally, meanwhile, was steely-eyed, and packed the kids in the car and drove off to her mum's in Scarborough.  Kevin sulked with Natalie then got in the car and drove off in pursuit.  He begged to come back and she refused, though they soon realised there was a more pressing problem: Rosie had gone missing.  Mike was teaching Curly how to play golf, and at the clubhouse, they encountered Fred and Ashley.  They were soon embroiled in a Northern remake of Goldfinger, with Mike as Bond and Fred as the tubby supervillain, dropping his ball in better spots and generally disappointing Ashley.  It was all for nothing anyway as Curly won on the last hole.  Fred chucked his putter in anger and ended up falling down an embankment and hurting his ankle.  It meant he stood up Maureen in the process.  Ashley took advantage of his absence from the home to invite Maxine round, and Fred returned to find her dancing around in the nuddy, much to his delight.  And Eric Firman took a fancy to Alma, and declared her Employee of the Month.  She was horrified, mainly because she'd not even been there a month, and she worried the rest of the shop would think she was somebody's girlfriend.

WEDNESDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 4th and 6th July 1997

Who's this shoplifting from Firman's, defacing Alma's poster, robbing a drill off Bill and screeching in the middle of the Street?  It's the Battersby family, Janice, Les, Toyah and Leanne, rough as a butcher's dog and instantly causing house prices to plummet by thirty percent.  They moved into Don's old house and immediately caused havoc by playing their music at ridiculous levels.  Emily and Percy both complained but they were sent off with a flea in their ear, while Leanne and Toyah tried to buy some fags off Mavis but got aggro about being asked their age so Rita chucked the girls out.  Sally and Kevin went hunting over Scarborough for Rosie with Sal convinced she was dead because it'd be about right for her entire life to be ruined.  Rosie eventually turned up on the beach with a friendly coast guard but Kevin was packed off back to Weatherfield.  Word of the Websters' marriage collapse reached Bill and Rita and they both laid into Kev for being such a fool.  Maureen visited Fred and his broken leg, grateful he'd stood her up for a legitimate reason, and he was so overcome with emotion he promised to change his will and leave her everything.  Ashley was put out but Fred promised to leave him the butcher's shop.  And there was a really lovely scene where Des went in the Kabin and told Mavis how sorry he was that Derek had died and how he'd miss him.

THURSDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 7th and 9th July 1997

With Fiona away, Steve had to find somewhere else to aim his hormones, and he targeted Maxine.  At first she was flattered by his attentions, sharing a bottle of wine, but she soon felt guilty about betraying Ashley and changed her mind.  He accused her of being a tease and threatened to tell Ashley.  Meanwhile, Andy got his exam results - a 2:2 - and the McDonalds celebrated.  They were interrupted by the police who wanted to talk to Steve about some stolen whisky.  Natalie was persona non grata in the Street, with Rita refusing to serve her, Gail glowering with rage at her in the cafe and Kevin not wanting to go near her.  She cried on Chris's shoulder.  (Incidentally both Denise Welch and Matthew Marsden are lockdown sceptics on their Twitter feed, so they should probably hook up).  Sally returned from Scarborough and Kevin was gleeful that she'd changed her mind.  She hadn't though: she wanted the house back, and she gave him five minutes to pack his stuff and get lost.  

FRIDAY - Episodes originally broadcast 11th and 13th July 1997

Alma was unhappy at her new position as the face of Firman's Freezers, especially when she found out her poster was recommending people buy low-fat cheese dumplings.  She got into trouble with Curly when he caught her telling Des she'd never touched them.  A furious Sally told Rita that a friend would've told her about Kevin's affair.  Later, Natalie called round for Kevin, and got Sal instead.  They had a tight lipped conversation then, as she left, Sally called her back - and smacked her in the face.  It looked like it really hurt.  Good.  Les sold the drill to Roy for £50, but when Bill spotted it, he claimed it back.  Roy demanded a refund and he got a tenner, with a promise that Toyah would compensate him with a fiver a week until he was paid back.  Emily and Percy decided something needed to be done and began keeping a diary of the Battersby's anti-social behaviour (including them playing overlooked Gina G classic Ti Amo at maximum volume).  They started enlisting the neighbours in their crusade.  Steve needed an alibi, and he told the police that he'd been with Maxine.  When the police arrived when she was with Ashley, though, she denied all knowledge and he was kept in.  She confessed what had happened to Fiona and gave a statement.  Steve was released, but Fiona was suspicious that Alan had arranged the whole thing.  

To be honest, the one-two punch of Natalie Horrocks and Les Battersby may be what drives me away from watching Classic Corrie.  Convince me why I should stay via Twitter @merseytart.

Classic Corrie is on ITV3 every weekday afternoon and is also on the ITV Hub.

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