It’s a cosy, toasty update that comes to you this week. Wearing its pink fluffy socks and matching hat, enjoying a cup of tea and chocolate biscuit (other snacks are available) and listening to More Specials on CD, it sets off without any further ado and cracks on with this week’s Coronation Street update.
In his attempt to break up with Michelle and get into bed with Becky, Steve pimps out Ms Connor to her singing bandmate, JD. When JD goes in for a snog after a song, Michelle knocks him back, horrified to hear that Steve’s told JD their relationship’s over and he’s welcome to have her. Michelle storms back to the Rovers and has it out with Steve in front of a packed pub, as you do, with Steve denying anyone else is involved. Meanwhile, Liz and Lloyd scuttle upstairs for a bit of hows-yer-father and when they submerge, Steve argues with Lloyd about him shagging his mum. “It’s pervy!” Steve yells. “You’re an OAP-de-phile!” So, Lloyd then yells to everyone in the pub that Steve’s been having it away for weeks with barmcake Becks. A statement to which Blanche feels free to comment on and confirms what she heard in the courtroom, even if it does mean the end of her free G&Ts.
Becky then dumps Steve and tells him she wants nowt to do with him again. To take her mind off the heartache she jumps into bed with Jason and it’s back on between those two now, as Steve sits outside Becky’s flat feeling sorry for himself after he’d gone and bought champagne, chocolates and flowers to woo her. If only he’d bought her a pack of 20 fags, then he might have got lucky.
Michelle also dumps Steve, natch, and moves out of the Rovers and into Maria’s. Well, she’s got the room. Michelle gives Ryan the bad news about Steve and you have to feel sorry for that kid, you really do. He’s spent his whole life on Coronation Street being called into the back room of the Rovers only to be given a humdinger of a shock piece of news. “Ryan, come in, sit down, I’ve got something to tell you – You’re not my son / Your Uncle Paul’s crashed his car with Aunty Leanne, who’s really a prostitute, in the boot / Your Uncle Liam’s been having it away with your Aunty Carla / Your Uncle Liam’s been killed by your Aunty Carla’s husband / Your Uncle Steve’s been having it away with that blonde bit behind the bar.” Poor Ryan. 
John Stape was sent down this week for a two year stretch at Her Majesty’s pleasure for kidnap and hostage of Ms Floozy Webster. Fiz is upset and goes to see John in court when the sentence is dished down but the Websters are over the moon when they hear the news about John in jail. They celebrate with champagne in the Rovers and didn’t offer Ms Brown one although it’d have been good if they had: “Fancy some fizz, Fiz?”
Elsewhere, Tyrone and Molly set off for honeymoon on the Eurostar to Paris but can’t find their tickets. And that’s because Jackie Dobbs has nicked them and done a runner.The newlyweds end up in Caravaggio, a 6 berth caravan just outside Blackpool, which might not have the romance of France but at least you know where you are with the lingo, the chips are smashing and the beer’s not bad.
Gary Windass continues to wind up David by flirting with Tina, who to be fair, isn’t doing much to discourage his advances. The Platt house fills up when Joe moves in. Gail thinks it’s romantic but Joe knows it’s because he’s got no cash and needs somewhere to sleep. They hug on Gail’s sofa and the camera pans to Joe’s face in that way that it does when there’s a Coronation Street hug-special taking place. Gail thinks her ship’s come in and she’s met Mr Right while Joe doesn’t know what’s hit him. It’s left to Audrey to tell Gail the truth about Joe – that he’s skint and he’s no longer a Klever Kitchen kitter-outerer but that he’s labouring for Bill. When Gail confronts Joe about it, the two of them fall out at the same time as Bill’s builder’s yard is being broken into by the Windass lads who are after the copper pipes.
Gary Windass continues to wind up David by flirting with Tina, who to be fair, isn’t doing much to discourage his advances. The Platt house fills up when Joe moves in. Gail thinks it’s romantic but Joe knows it’s because he’s got no cash and needs somewhere to sleep. They hug on Gail’s sofa and the camera pans to Joe’s face in that way that it does when there’s a Coronation Street hug-special taking place. Gail thinks her ship’s come in and she’s met Mr Right while Joe doesn’t know what’s hit him. It’s left to Audrey to tell Gail the truth about Joe – that he’s skint and he’s no longer a Klever Kitchen kitter-outerer but that he’s labouring for Bill. When Gail confronts Joe about it, the two of them fall out at the same time as Bill’s builder’s yard is being broken into by the Windass lads who are after the copper pipes.
Over at the Rovers, Bill puts a pub darts team together made up of him, Jason, Kev and Eddie Windass - who just so happens to be an ex-darts player and has even got the medals to prove it. He’s also quick to take the £20 darts subs off everyone too. 
There’s good news for Dev this week as Tara decides to stay in Weatherfield instead of heading to Edinburgh. But when she presents Amber with a gift of a car, Dev’s not best pleased. he doesn’t want his daughter driving and who can blame him when most of the women of Weatherfield who put their heels to the steel end up in some crash or t’other? 
And finally this week, there was even better news for Roy when he won this eBay auction for an indoor composter. Life doesn’t come much better than that.Coronation Street writers this week were Carmel Morgan, Mark Wadlow and Peter Whalley.
And that’s just about that for this week. If you'd like to receive these weekly updates automatically via email, have a look here for details of how to sign up.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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