Coronation Street Weekly Update, March 31 2008

The update is a little late this week folks as I was out having fun last night, enough said. I trust you’re wearing your hard hat, hi-vis jacket and steel toe-capped boots as you read the update this week because the builders are everywhere on Coronation Street. And so, with a five-sugared tea, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

Yes, the builders are in and profits are up in Roy’s Rolls. Becky’s in her element flirting with the fitters while Roy worries about her over familiarity with the men. The new fangled apartments rise from the cobbles as the workmen crack on and do their stuff with bricks and mortar. But when Deirdre’s splashed by a puddle after one of the builders drive past in the rain and then little Amy’s almost knocked over by a builder driving too fast, there’s all hell to pay. Eyeball Tony the Catalogue Man gets it in the neck from Blanche. And Deirdre. Oh, and Liz and Ken, Norris and Rita too. They all have a moan at him and even though he’s an investor and not the man in charge of builders, Tony says he’ll keep a beady eye (ahem) on events on the Street. “We’re not used to it, all this traffic on the Street,” moans Blanche in her a-double-vodka’ll-stop-me-moaning voice. Indeed, before the builders came, all that moved on the cobbles was the odd turkey and the Weatherfield Wayfarer once every other Thursday.

There are more builders still, in the back yard of the Rovers. They’re mates of Vernon’s who have come to erect Liz’s smoking shelter. They’re as feckless and rootless as the venerable Vernon...

and both of them are musicians who are better able to bash out a tune on the cement mixer with two bits of wood than put up a straight wall. Liz isn’t best pleased with progress and won’t be fobbed off. “A gazebo construct?” she asks Vernon in disbelief when he tells her his master plans for the shelter. “In a whitewashed yard of a pub up a backstreet ginnel?” Sometimes the dialogue is poetry.

Over the road, there’s trouble for David when Gail comes home from th’ospickle. And where’s nurse Platt when you need him? And why hasn’t even sent Gail some flowers? Anyway, Gail starts to regain her memory which worries David no end. She even tells Jason she remembers that it wasn’t him who threw her down the stairs. David chews his bottom lip and Tina twiddles her thumbs as they wait nervously for it all to come rushing back to Gail’s brain.

In Roy’s Rolls, Roy’s uneasy at living with Becky. Well, she had walked in on him while he was in the bathroom, in the nuddy, and spied his crown jewels. Roy fits a lock to the bathroom door and Becky asks Ken for some help in getting along with Roy, who she’s clearly upset. Following Ken’s suggestion, a Scrabble match is set for Becky and Roy and Roy waxes lyrical about the points to be gained from XU. “Did you know 100 XUs equal a Dong?” As I said earlier, sheer poetry.

Meanwhile chez Kirkeh, he’s over the moon to have Fiz back in the house with him and Chesney but she’s not so keen. He wakes her up in the morning with a cup of tea at her bedside, which is almost forgivable, but then she finds him rifling through her dirty undies as he sorts out the washing, which most definitely isn’t. Fiz moans to Maria who comes up with the ideal way to get Kirk out of her hair and dirty pants for a while and sends him off on holiday to stay with their parents in Cyprus.

Elsewhere, Valandro’s goes up in flames after Leanne lures pathetic Paul to set fire to the place on the pretence of running off together with the insurance cash. “I’d torch a dozen restaurants for you,” he whimpers to Leanne before setting fire to the frying pan and the pizza place is scorched to the ground. What? No more Luigi? Paul’s got further problems with Dev finds him with Amber and assumes he’s leading his daughter astray. Dev scares Paul off with a couple of sharp prods to the chest. And as Leanne’s wondering how she can get out of Paul’s hold over her, I suggest some prodding a la Dev. Mind you, I don’t really care, I just want Paul to leave. I’ve never liked the character, not one little bit. Move right along the bus, ding ding, next please!

And finally, there was a bit of a look between Dan the bookie man and Liz McDonald this week. I say this apropos of nowt in particular, it was after all just a look. For now, at least.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were Martin Sterling (a new writer), Carmel Morgan, Lucy Gannon, David Lane and Chris Fewtrell.

Glenda

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