Coronation Street Weekly Update, April 27 2009

Greetings and a cuddly sort of hello with a lovely warm welcome to another weekly wotsit of wonder from Weatherfield. So if you’re comfortable and ready, let’s crack on with this week’s Coronation Street update.

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Remember that song, D.I.V.O.R.C.E.? Well, Steve and Becky have to spell things out so as not to let little Amy know that her M.U.M. is a M.U.R.D.E.R.E.R. “Sssh…” Steve tells Becky as he covers Amy’s ears to hide her from the truth. “Amy can S.P.E.E.L. you know,” which is clearly more than Steve can do but was very funny all the same. Anyway, Becky blurts out the truth to Amy and tells her that Tracy is banged up in prison and when Steve finds out he’s not best pleased. He throws Becky out of the pub and she seeks solace with Roy in the caff but even he gives her short shrift. But it doesn’t take long for Steve to forgive and forget and Becky’s back in his good books and his bed.

Talking about being in bed, in the creepiest ultrasound scan in the history of soaps, Tony accompanies Maria to th’ospital where she’s told she’s having a lickle baby boy. Tony sits by Maria’s side as she’s given the news and the murderer of Maria’s dead husband places his hand on the unborn. Run, Maria, run. Well, waddle carefully - but fast!

Talking about Tony Gordon, has he met his match in Mr Luke Strong? The clue’s in the name after all. Corrie don’t call a character Mr Strong for no reason. Just as the Windasses are a bunch of big loses, Mr Strong will save the day, just you mark my words. He sacks Tony from Underworld but has to take him back on when Tony threatens to move his catalogue business away. Tony’s also threatening Tom to stay away from Maria as he wants her and LadRags all to himself. Tom’s not got long left on the Street as he’s leaving soon. That lad always looks as if he’s got a looped soundtrack going round in his brain that’s constantly playing the most depressing of the Smiths and Morrissey songs, ever. Heaven knows, he’s miserable now.

Talking about miserable, “What does misanthropic mean?” asks Chesney of Fiz as he’s doing his book learning from the comfort of the sofa in front of GMTV. Fiz doesn’t know so books an appointment to see John in prison but she isn’t allowed in as she forgets her photo ID. She strops back home via a shop to buy Chesney a dictionary and then returns to see John with a copy of Private Eye, NewsWeek and Schoolgirls That Old Men Love.

Talking about Schoolgirls That Old Men Love, the horrible truth about pervert Colin being Julie Carp’s dad emerged this week. Well, the truth didn’t so much emerge as vomit itself all over the Rovers. In one of Coronation Street’s most dramatic scenes in a long while, Paula Carp turns up at Colin’s 70th birthday party, drunk. Colin’s celebrating his birthday and gets down on one knee to propose to Rita who accepts while Norris sulks. Word had reached Paula’s shell-like that her Julie and Jason had enjoyed a one night fling so she storms into the Rovers to tell Julie that she can’t continue seeing Jason. “But why?” Julie demands to know of her mother who lets rips and tells all and sundry that she was only 15 when she gave birth to Julie having been made pregnant by Colin who was more than double her age. Colin hangs his head in shame, Rita’s wedding plans fly out of the window, Eileen gasps, Julie cries, Betty and Emily choke on their sweet sherry and Jason gets that puzzled look on his face. The best line of the week goes to the ITV continuity woman after the episode ended. “Do you think Jason got all of that, then?” she asked.

Talking about being confused, over in the cab office, the big debate of the day is being slugged out between those two bastions of knowledge, Steve and Lloyd as they ruminate on the merits of Joan Collins vs Lulu.

Talking about Lulu, Mary gets into a boom-bang-a-bang-bang over her tumty: “Well, we call it a tumty but it’s really a pouffe,” she admits to Norris. It’s where she keeps all her travel mags, apparently, and she chats to Norris as she polishes their motorhome, ready for their big trip around the world. Norris isn’t sure about this, you can tell. It’s all gone too fast for his liking and he’s not sure he wants to go further with any woman than Rosamund Streeet, except for Rita, a woman with whom he’s long desired to go all the way.

Talking about going out, Tyrone’s not too happy with Jack splashes on the All Spice to go on a date with Connie Rathbone. Molly’s all for this new woman in Jack’s life but Tyrone thinks Jack’s being disloyal to Vera. Meanwhile, Vera beams out from her photoframe on the sideboard. Dead she may be, but she’s still keeping her beady eye on Jack.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were the powerhouse that is Carmel Morgan, Jonathan Harvey and Lucy Gannon.

Glenda
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