Coronation Street Weekly Update, October 27 2008

Bonjour dear readers and welcome to a special Hallowe’en version of this week’s Coronation Street update. Woo-oooah! Yes, the Hallowe’en special update comes complete with a funeral, grave, plenty of people wearing black, a howling dog and a mad woman locked in an attic.

At Liam’s funeral Carla’s dressed in best black, so there was no change there. Carla fled from the church feeling sorry for herself as Maria and the Connor clan listened to Liam’s dad give a reading, some strange woman singing and poor Ozzy crying. There was gravity at the graveside as everyone did the ashes to ashes, funk to funky. The only thing missing was Ozzy cocking his leg on the coffin to pay his respects.

Afters were held at the Rovers were there were sandwiches and singing and almost a fight when Liam’s mum squared up to Carla who was led out of the pub by Tony. He was pretending to be all cuddly towards Carla but then smashed the factory up later. After he flung Carla’s favourite cup to the floor and sent summat flying through a plate glass window, his face gave the slightest twitch, just underneath his good eye.

Over at the Barlow’s, Blanche says she’s off to Lourdres with the one o’clock club (who hold their extraordinary meeting at half past three) and asks Deirdre to come along too. Deirdre doesn’t want to go but she agrees in the end, only to find she’s been hired as an unpaid carer to look after the old dears. “There’ll be toilet duties,” warns the organiser which means Deirdre will be putting old ladies on the loo in Lourdes. Lummy. Blanche wants Lourdres to sort out her hip, her eyesight and her fungal growth on her toe. Deirdre’s just hoping no one gets the runs.

Up in the flat in the sky, Nina finds out that Dev’s still seeing her daughter and warns him to break it off or she’ll snap it off. Can Dev say tara to Tara? It doesn’t look like it as the two of them settle down for a romantic night in. However, Tara ends up walking out when Dev displays his Neanderthal streak after he finds Darryl in his pants in Amber’s bedroom. Poor Darryl, Dev shoves him semi-naked out of the flat with threats never to darken his newly painted, freshly carpeted, designer kitchened, doorway again. Trying to salvage his relationship with Tara, Dev decides to come clean with Prem but the news that Dev’s been having it away with both his wife and daughter doesn’t go down well and Prem banishes Dev from ever setting from in his newly painted, freshly carpeted, designer kitchened, doorway again.

Now then, if there was a prize for most stupid hostage of the year, it’d go to Rosie Webster. John’s had her locked up in the attic at his gran’s house but does she try to escape? Ladies and gentlemen, she does not. Well, she tries once but she doesn’t get very far although she had opportunity galore to get out of that house. She could have smashed the door, window or John’s head in with any amount of large, heavy items but she didn’t. She could have spent her days bashing the door off its hinges but she chose instead to lie on her bed reading Heat magazine. And so it’s official, Rosie Webster wins most stupid hostage of the year and her prize is the key to the door so she can lock herself in whenever she chooses. Second prize is two keys incase she loses the first. “I’ve not abducted yer, I’ve ringfenced yer,” said John, which made me chuckle, I don’t know about you.

Speaking of the Barlow’s, as we were, Ken gets a phone call from Peter who tells him that Lucy’s died. You remember Lucy, surely, she was the feckless florist who dithered in the doorway of her flat every time we saw her on screen. Anyway, they’ve killed her off and now Peter’s been left with a son called Simon, both of whom will be turning up on the cobbles soon.

Aunty Pat and Tyrone continue to flog cheap tat in the pubs which raises enough money for Tyrone to buy Molly’s wedding dress of her dreams from Rhapsody Blanco which is a wedding shop in the precinct; not, as I suspected, a cheap plonk from Lidl.

Meanwhile, at Emily’s there are peculiar parcels turning up for Norris. He’s embarrassed, you can tell, and passes one of the unwrapped boxes to Molly as a wedding gift. She’s over the moon to discover it’s a fizzy drinks maker but why is Norris being so secretive about the boxes? Just what’s he up to this time?

And finally this week there’s good news in Roy’s Rolls. Roy takes a phone call from Hayley to say she’s coming home. I’m hoping it’ll be a Christmas reunion, all romantic and snowy, with Roy slaving over his chocolate log in the caff as Hayley’s pink cheery face appears at the café window just as the first snowflakes fall and carol singers, all orphans of course, start singing in sweet harmony on the cobbles as the jingle of bells intermingles with the familiar theme tune and a million Corrie viewers up and down the land stifle sobs into their Christmas sherry.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were Carmel Morgan, Joe Turner, Julie Jones, Martin Allen and Debbie Oates.

Glenda
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