Coronation Street Weekly Update, October 13 2008

Righto my little cherubs, it’s me again, back at the coalface of the computer digging for gems of dialogue and pearls of wisdom to put in the update this week. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.

It’s murder week, this week on Corrie, which you’d think would excite a long-term die-hard fan but it hasn’t. And this long-term, die-hard fan lives with another of said same who’s not excited about it either. Over a pot of tea and a packet of custard creams, we pondered the reasons why. My main beef about it is that it focuses on a character too minor to invest care – Tony Gordon – and if he really hates the fact that Liam and Carla are having a shifty shag then why not pack his tartan bags along with his dignity and leave them both to it instead of killing Liam off? Sorry to rant but it’s my update and I can rant if I want to. The same thing happened when Tracy Barlow killed Charlie. She couldn’t muster enough self-esteem to leave the beer-swilling builder so she killed him off. This story got Corrie huge ratings and no doubt murder week with Tony bumping off Liam will do just the same. But that doesn’t mean that this fan has to like it.

And so it’s in that frame of mind that I bring you the news from the Tony triangle. He’s all het up because he knows what Carla and Liam are up to and he’s not wrong, that man, he’s not wrong. Liam sees Carla in her wedding frock as she tries it on in the flat and then he tries it on with her. He tells her she’s lovely and Carla’s torn over Tony and lusting for Liam.

At Tony’s stag night, all of Tony’s mates (aka the fellas on the Street) turn up in tartan with a creepy Tony Gordon face mask for breakfast in Roy’s Rolls. Becky does the honours and paints each of their faces with a flag of the world. “Come on lads, let’s go paintballing!” yells Tony to the clan although I wasn’t really sure if Becky was up to that task and anyway, she’d ran out of green.

With the lads paintballing, and Carla hen-nighting with all her mates (aka the girls on the Street), Liam starts texting his love to her like this. I luv u. What could be more romantic? I said, wot cud b mor romntick? Carla’s in tears in the ladies loos and blurts out the truth about Liam to Leanne who could be the only woman on the Street ever to have the number of a male stripper in her phone. Mind you, I have the number in my phone of someone who has the number of a male stripper in his phone, but I don’t think that’s the same thing. Leanne tells Carla to go after Liam, lay her heart on the line and tell him she wants him as much as he wants her. Or maybe she could just text him. I luv u 2.

Away from murder week, it’s been mild irritation week in the Kabin when Rita takes on Tina to serve the good members of the Weatherfield parish with their fags and mags. Norris isn’t best pleased as well you can imagine, but Rita sees summat in Tina that she recognises in herself when she were but a lass, a bit of fight and spice.

I love Rita, me.

Over the cobbles, Janice gets arrested for laundering the lottery win and Roger leaves in disgust in his little plumber’s van. Rosie still hasn’t turned up and Kev’s upset when he receives a postcard with newspaper cut out words on it saying “Sophie’s next”. Meanwhile, John Stape and Fiz continue to grow close although John keeps mysteriously disappearing to his gran’s house to, ahem, feed the cat. Methinks it’s not the cat he’s feeding, it’s Rosie he’s got there held captive in the country. But I could be wrong, you never know, I sometimes am.

Becky also got arrested this week for causing criminal damage to the travel agent shop last week when she went on her rampage. She lies to the cops and says she was with Steve McDonald, her lover, on the night in question. And then she tells Steve if he doesn’t back up her alibi (always painful) then she’ll tell Michelle about their night of passion a while back. Steve doesn’t know which way to turn and so pulls a mean gurn.

Nina’s daughter Tara turns up at Dev’s flat and he declares himself a feminist after making enquiries about her bra. Well, you know, he was only making polite conversation. But then Nina arrives and tells Dev in no uncertain terms that she won’t have him pandering to the whims of her daughter. She’s jealous and wants him all of herself but as Dev points out to Nina, he’s a single man. “Ergo, I’m free to ogle,” he says.

There was shed snogging this week as Amber and Darryl got to grips in the wooden hut and I just hope they watch out for spelks in the love shack.

And in the factory, the Corrie props department are having a hard time trying to cover the real-life pregnancy bumps of Carla and Wiki. Baby bumps are being hid behind the usual kind of dull, inanimate objects – sewing machines, clipboards and feckless men.

And that’s just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were new writer David Bowker, Jonathan Harvey, Mark Burt and Damon Rochefort.

Glenda
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