Hurry, hurry
Come and eat your curry
Get it while it’s hot
‘Cos when it’s not
It’ll not be much warmer
Than a chicken korma
I can’t think why they didn’t ask me to read it out, can you? Want to read more of me dreaful poems? Then have a look here. Anyway, this week the update is mourning the loss of Vera Duckworth and is wearing its black armband as a mark of respect. It’s also wearing a blonde curly wig, flowered pinny and slippers too, which has nothing to do with Vera Duckworth, it just felt like a change. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update – the one where Vera Duckworth died.
Now then, I’ve been looking forward to killing off Vera in the update. I don’t mean that in a macabre sort of way but in the years of writing the weekly update, Vera’s death is possibly the biggest storyline that’s been covered. There have been other deaths - like Mike Baldwin’s - but Vera passing to the other side (and I don’t mean the BBC) must surely rank up there as the biggest story the weekly updates have covered. Old cynic that I am, I didn’t think Vera dying would affect me as much as it did. We’ve known for months that the actress who plays Vera, Liz Dawn, was seriously ill and leaving the show. We’ve known for months that Vera would be killed off and so I ignored the text messages all day Friday last week from people who know me too well, asking if I’d stocked up on hankies to wave Vera ta-ra. So while Vera’s death wasn’t an earth-shattering, shocking story from the Soap world, it was Jack’s grief and the way he handled the death of his wife after 50 years of marriage that choked me to tears. The tears started again on Saturday morning when I read a fab review of Vera’s dying episode in The Guardian by Nancy Banks-Smith, my most favourite soap writer, a woman who knows her Corrie history and is always spot on.
But let’s backtrack a little for those who might not know how Vera pops her clogs on the cobbles. The Duckies had their move to Blackpool all planned. They’d bought a new house, measured up for curtains and agreed the sale of their home to Tyrone and Molly. Everything looked good, everything was planned. But when Jack went to the Rovers for a pint, leaving Vera home alone, he returned to find her dead in her favourite chair. Her heart had given out and she’d slipped away with her slippers on. Bill Tarmey as Jack played an absolute blinder and as the realisation of Vera’s death sank in, Jack sang to his little duck egg: “If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy…” his voice trailing off as the grief proved too much. And when Jack went out to have a word with his pigeons he cooed love words to the birds that he’d never said to Vera and wished that he had. When word spread of Vera’s death, Tyrone and Molly were in bits and Paul too. He’d even taken an old black and white photo of his grandparents and had it framed, where it now takes pride of place in the Duckies – well, make that now Jack’s - living room. Clad only in his vest and trousers, Jack takes in callers and cards as the locals come to pay their respects. 
Unable to deal with thinking about the funeral just yet, Jack takes to the Rovers for a pint and then heads home to clear his head. He starts making a list, putting words to paper of things Vera would have wanted at her funeral, a clear sign he was ready to prepare for the next step. And that, dear readers, will be all here next week when the weekly update brings you the funeral and son Terry’s return.Elsewhere this week, much of the remaining storyline was dominated by Michelle in tears over the saga of her son. Is it Ryan? Is it Alex? Do we care? Ryan chooses to take a DNA test to prove that Michelle is his mum. Ah, but what if she’s not? Give the woman a jar of Kalms for heaven’s sake and make her stop crying. If I wanted this bleakness I’d be watching EastEnders.
Up in Janice’s flat this week Wiki held a knicker party, selling off Kropp branded gear. Why women who work knicker-stitching during the day would want to go to a party where one of them is selling knickers at night is beyond me, but they’re a strange breed, these knicker-stitching girls. Wiki had fun at the party but seemed to be the only one who did. Mind you, you get the feeling that Wiki is the sort of woman that could have a fun day out with nothing more than a paper bag and a long piece of string, if she put her mind to it.Meanwhile, David gets cosy with his new girlfriend Tina and they find out more about each other in Jerry’s kebab shop over chips and blue pop. Now then, I’m not sure which of the two is most odd. Is it David for confessing he was mad enough to drive his car into the canal? Or is it Tina for being impressed by this news?
And finally this week, Carla ups her game to woo tall, dark, handsome, thick Liam and tempts him away to a trade fair in Birmingham. The minx has booked them a double room instead of the two singles they’d agreed on. I wonder if they’ll be offered a Brummy kipper tie?Coronation Street writers this week were Mark Burt, Peter “I killed off Vera Duckworth” Whalley, Lucy Gannon, Mark Wadlow and Joe Turner.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/
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