Corrie Comicals week ending 19 July 2019

Good evening.  You know how some women like to carry out a detailed assessment of other women (particularly) by looking them all the way down and then all the way up.  Well tonight Evelyn did just that to Paula.  I have said before that this column is almost defined by Maureen Lipman and Alexandra Mardell and so this scene with them both appearing was almost too much - but this sly piece of assessment cannot go unremarked.

Nice to know that alongside Betty's hotpot and the secret ingredient the team have not forgotten Dreary and her marrow surprise (the surprise was that it was actually edible).  I thought that since Ken went vegetarian when he came back from exile, sorry Canada, he might have managed to improve the recipe to something people actually wanted to eat!

Eileen does not have much luck with men (and we already know that the latest hunk is not exactly being generous with the truth) but when Moira puts her hands on Jan, Eileen (who has just told Moira that they are going slowly) rushes from the booth to put herself between her man and the man eater.  She had to admit to Moira that there might be more to it than she admitted!  Ellen Taylor wrote both Wednesday episodes and she developed a couple of characters from nothing to me wanting to see them return in minutes.

First up was Ben who was on a first date with Maria.  His mother, Trish, phoned to check progress (and just how common Maria might be) and then arrived in the Rovers to vet Maria personally to save inviting her for tea.  She explains to Maria (above) that Ben does everything his mother tells him to do.  Maria decides that two for the price of one is unacceptable and departs.  However Moira has already spotted that there is talent available and moves in on son and mother to discuss musical theatre - which Trish enjoys greatly and tells Ben that this one is definitely worth coming to tea.  Ben departs repeating the line Maria had used earlier to leave the date!  Superbly put together in two episodes.  Ellen Taylor is the daughter of a Street director so the force obviously runs strong in the bloodline!

Roy is a few months younger than my good self.  I agree with Roy - a strongly worded letter of complaint is the fall back of our generation.  However I have also had some notable success (not with electricians I admit) with Twitter which if rightly worded and carefully addressed has had some significant success in getting piles of rubbish cleared from Guildford station amongst other well won battles!

Maria spotted her second date's studded collar and assumed he was into a little bit of punk.  Mobile phone photos we are not allowed to see have been a recurrent theme in this story line and we soon gather that he does not dress as a punk- more like a puppy!  This soon brings this encounter to an end!  Better luck next time around Maria.


Extras at Work

Watching this scene in the Community Centre as Sarah announces that bonuses are not on - they can have some bacon butties but she is spending the cash on the factory repairs - my wife asked who that was in between Kirk and Sean and I could proudly respond Dirk - and that he has been at the factory for some time - she obviously forgot his appearance in the Rovers where he was handing out drinks entirely silently as usual!  I wonder if Beth thought about offering her shares to him and what his response was?

I will not be here for the next couple of weeks as I am going to be cruising the Rhine and the Moselle and seeing various parts of Europe. 


Writers: Ella Greenhill & Mark Burt (Monday); Ellen Taylor (Wednesday); Cameron McAllister & Steven Fay (Friday)
Directors: Ian Bevitt (Monday & Wednesday); Tim Finn (Friday)

Kosmo
@Kosmo100

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Coronation Street - Double Episode Review; Wednesday 18th of July 2018

Its early morning at The Rovers Return and baby Susie is suspiciously absent, alongside Toyah and Johnny. After escaping for a 'veggie hangover' meal, Toyah returns to the pub, minus the baby!. What with Jenny's continued emotional turmoil and recent history, you could easily blame her, but its an equally fraught Johnny, that's actually snatched his own granddaughter.

Over at Number 11, Abby and Seb hurriedly tidy up ahead of Eileen's swift return to the street. Upon arriving, it isn't long before Eileen is back in the cab office. Hearing the streets latest goings on, she decides on not returning to Bristol, belittles Steve about marrying Tracy, and lets Abby move in.

Also returning to the street is that charming cad and brewery heir, Henry Newton. Gemma, having seen Henry's engagement announced in the Weatherfield Gazette, is utterly distraught. Seeing a chance, reluctant Cassanova Chesney invites her out to The Viaduct Bistro. Underwhelmed by its lack of kebabs or grease, Gemma hits the beer. As Chesney is about to reveal his unrequited love, you can guess who strolls straight into the restaurant? yep, it's Henry. Unimpressed by his posh metaphors and Vodka, Henry finally wins Gemma over by breaking off his engagement and buying her The Rovers Return!. Gemma as the new Bet Lynch, anyone?...

With no sign of a break-in at the pub, Liz realises that Johnny stole her pub keys to kidnap Susie. When it's clear that Johnny has taken the baby but not his medication, the Connor clan quickly rally round. A swift press conference is called by (the usually incompetent)Weatherfield Police whilst Johnny remains hiding in the hotel. Ringing confidante and ex-lover Liz, she quickly finds him alone with the baby. Will Liz get caught in the crossfire?.

In other news, Angie & Jude's marriage reaches crisis-point, Victoria Street shop wars have begun, and Roy doesn't own a mobile phone.


PS - I think it's worth mentioning some great quotes in tonight's doubleheader;

Gemma - "Are you boozing or boring?",
Audrey - "I'm not as green as I am cabbage looking!"
or Eileen, with the deliciously prophetic "Its a good day to bury bad news" on hearing of Steve's engagement and Sally's exit from the Mayoral office.


Anyway, that's me done until next Wednesday at 7.30pm.

Until next time Corrie fans...

TARA!

I am @rybazoxo- your self-styled 'Cobbles Connoisseur'

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Coronation Street episode review, Thursday 31 May 2018

I know I am normally here on Friday but with t'Street on every night this week I am here a little early with the update for Thursday night.

We are in some previously unseen den inside the builder's yard where Pat all tooled up (with a gun) has turned the tables on Gary and Sarah forcing the latter to use Gary's phone to summon Nicola to the yard with the baby.  Sarah sounds cool on the phone telling Nicola (above) that she and Gary have a surprise for her.  Pat has somehow managed to get them both tied up - we didn't see it but have to accept that they could not overpower him as he did it!  When Nicola does not turn up Pat points the gun at her and she admits she called Tim instead.

Daniel has told Michelle that either she or Steve knows why Robert has done a runner and Michelle catches Steve emerging from Dev's so she gives him an earful and tells him to get Robert back now for the wedding.  Steve realises that Robert has a head start but asks Tim to ask Geoff (his father) for help.

Kevin had answered Tim's phone in the pub when Sarah called and tells Tim it was not Gary but Sarah who thought she had called Nicola.  They play darts instead of bothering to tell Nicola or do anything useful.

Under some amazingly brutal (joke) police interrogation (above) Josh - who must have a better lawyer than Street criminals normally get - manages to stonewall every question correctly with a "no comment" and inevitably he walks free.  David with Shona by his side gets around to telling Gail and Audrey what happened and admits that he knows why Aidan did what he did.  Gail has to ask before getting to hug her son.

Rosie, Gemma and Olivia have bought a lot of icing sugar.  They are going to swap most of the drugs leaving enough for a taste test and planting the rest on Antoine for the sniffer dogs to find the next time he goes through customs.  Seems like a good plan to me.  Sally is all dressed up for mayoral do and she really does look quite smart. 

Pat locks the yard of "Gary Windass Construction", dropping the phones in a flowerbed outside the salon and Kev does not notice him as he leaves the Rovers whilst as we see above Pat is walking alone along the Street with gun cocked and ready to kill, with his destination being Eileen's and his baby grandson as family is everything to him.  Nicola opens the door and Pat says "Boo".  He is quickly inside as he waves his shooter around.  Nicola stands between Pat and Zach and possibly predicts her demise when she says that she will protect her baby until her very last breath.  And finally Pat reveals to Eileen that he was only ever with her for cover; she disgusts him and he felt physically sick whenever he had to touch her.  Seb is upstairs and we see him slowly coming downstairs and we all hope that he will head out of the front door to get help.  Pat threatens Nic with the cocked gun - he wants to hold and kiss his grandson.

On the dual carriageway heading south Robert is listening to the radio and luckily he is listening to a station where the Geoffster has a mate on air at this particular moment so that Michelle can phone in and appeal to Robert to return as it is all a big misunderstanding and that she loves him really and not Steve.  (This must be the biggest set of coincidences of all time).

Back at the yard Sarah and Gary get themselves unbound - but the door is locked and they can hear noises outside.  Thinking it is Pat they retreat from the door but when it eventually opens Anna is revealed as she appears to have been released from prison at last.

Michelle cannot believe she has put her faith in Steve and a radio phone in and then she says it is not all about Steve is it? It is all about ME (and Robert) - doomed , we are all doomed she says.  Carla tells her that disaster is not predestined - but Kate and Jenny turn up to pour on more cold water.  Robert however also arrives and he and Michelle are able to put things right.  They agree to get married.

Seb however is stupid and creeps into the room behind Pat's back, Pat is going on about his legacy - his grandson.  Seb jumps on to Pat, Nicola and Eileen also jump onto him.  However Pat is made of stronger stuff and he jumps up pushing them all off him and Eileen falls backwards onto the floor knocking herself out.

 
In the Street outside three people are rushing to Eileen's house and are taken aback as they hear a shot ring out - so who will Sarah, Anna and Gary find who (if anyone) has been shot when they reach their destination?

All this and more will be revealed when I return tomorrow night!  (Well so I hope - I have not seen it yet either).

Kosmo
@Kosmo100

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Coronation Street episode review, Friday 18 May

Feels like there is a lot to get through tonight.  There was some Royal Wedding discussions including Liz claiming that Diana was her style guru for much of the Eighties and she is grateful for that.  Rita has her doubts as you can see above.

The loss of Aidan continues to echo through the Street.  Johnny has spent the night on Liz's couch (he tells Jenny it was a lousy B&B) and whilst Jenny is prepared to forgive almost anything for her man he cannot stand the sight of her and runs away from the do in the cafe later when she seeks to comfort him.  Later he accepts her holding him in the back yard at the Rovers - but in reality he wants to be left alone and cannot share with her.  She thinks they have made up - somehow it does not feel like it, although Jenny really does apologise for her comments.

Steve has returned from his trip with Tracy and Eileen has returned from her stay with Julie.  Steve pops along to see Michelle and Robert is not overly amused by the support Steve is offering.  Liz has also found out that Ali went to great lengths to get the temporary posting to Weatherfield.  He cannot admit it outright but later tells Michelle that he will turn up for the wedding.  So who knows what the truth is as this is 180 degree volte face.  Robert is later pounding the streets and then a punchbag in the temporary gym - but there seems to be a problem when he feels some pain when going to open a bottle of wine. 

My wife guessed he was having a heart attack.

For reasons which are not obvious (has Josh left / resigned - he is still around?) Kevin and Ty are recruiting a new mechanic.  A Franklin applies.  And it is a surprise when Abi turns up for the interview in the Rovers.  Ty is later reminded that his mother has done time and he eventually agrees with Kev to give her the job after Seb does some essential lobbying.

Zeedan has got the press to interview him and Rana over Speed Dahl.  He tries to make it their restaurant - Rana is not willing to comply and tells him they are over and later tells him that he should be getting a divorce - she wants one.  This is backed up by Alya telling him to move and she slaps him for suggesting that she has replaced Luke rather too quickly!

Steve does his level best to cheer Eileen up (we can see above that she is feeling a little out of sorts) - but a trip to the Rovers is not helped when Alya stomps in and demands £750 from Eileen for her deposit (which of course Pat has spirited away) on the flat as she has given notice.  (It does not work like that - whose name is on the rent book?)  Anyway Eileen is sort of welcomed back to Streetcars and both Steve and Tim try to ensure she is feeling wanted - which then goes awry when she gets a silent call on her mobile, plus nasty emails and other abuse.

Sophie, Kate, Rana and Gemma plan a trip into town for a drinking session.  When there they get eyed up by a guy who fancies them and after a stand off in a bar he follows them back to Weatherfield to catch Rana and Kate making out in an alley.  He attacks them but Zeedan hears them screaming from across the street, runs in and attacks the guy smacking his head against the wall.  He is in a bad way when he taken in ambulance to hospital.  The lout is called Phil Warriner for the record.

The cafe hosts a "speak and save" session - Steve is drinking wine from a tea cup.  He and Tim have a great verbal exchange about Eileen being down - she has not been this bad since the time they said they were going to stop making salad cream when she had some very dark days!  Summer seems to be leading the way as Johnny and Kate are largely absent.  Not sure this initiative will save anyone.  Far more interesting was Yasmeen who tells Steve that Aidan was a gentle creature and then reports on her latest date with Geoff - they went to a magic class and Tim is well put out as he has been asking his father to take him to one of those for a long time - Tim did all the groundwork and Yasmeen reaped the benefits!  And Geoff produced a live pigeon from Yasmeen's handbag; Steve starts worrying about the health and safety.

The memorial garden had some visitors - Eileen and Johnny both trying to avoid people - plus Mr Fox - not sure who trains foxes for ITV but this was not Basil Brush in disguise.  Eilen does have some kind words for Johnny as he comes to terms with his problems with Jenny.

Tim and Steve welcome Eileen back to StreetCars - but do not have enough paper to spell out Eileen in full - it EI, not ET!

So group hug - Eileen is smiling because she knows that what comes next is heavy patting by the boys!

Written by Damon Alexis-Rochefort and directed by David Moor.

Kosmo
@Kosmo100

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Coronation Street Episode Review; Weds 18th of April 2018 7.30pm

Welcome to Wednesday's edition of the Coronation Street Blog and the first of tonights two episode reviews.

Distraught at being caught in her recent tryst with Ali, Carla is frantically trying to contact Michelle.
Concerned with Michelle's sudden bruising (caused by Roberts steroid addiction), will Carla 'park' her relationship with Ali to seek her former best friends forgiveness?.

It's another quasi-incestuous 'family affair' no doubt, and we've quite a few of those on the street recently!

The Nazir/Habeeb/ Connor 'Ménage à trois' ( that's Moira's French influence), continues to cause more drama. 

With Rana and Kate looking to embark on a fresh start, can the return of Rana's mother and a sudden serious family illness, cause the star-crossed lovers further heartache?. Saira certainly causes Rana to ask fast and before you can say 'speed daal' a plane ticket to Pakistan is booked...

On the other side of Coronation Street, Eileen remains wallowing in self-pity, until Nicola pays her a visit. Trusting in Eileen's innocence, Nicola promises to keep a frail Eileen close to Phelan's grandchild's life. But as budding journo Daniel Osbournes case against Phelan builds, will it do more harm than good?.

Anyway, that's me done for another week. Keep an eye out for tonights 8.30pm episode review written by @glenn_writer.

TARA!

You can follow me @rybazoxo on twitter-your self-styled 'Cobbles Connoisseur'

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